Time management: How to be more productive and ‘get shit done’

Hello! 

Life is pretty busy, huh! You've got your career, brilliant ideas to share with the world, a side hustle to manage, sleep to catch up on, exercise to power through, and a to-do list that just never seems to end. 24-hours in a day sounds like we've got plenty of time to get through everything, but sometimes it just gets away from us, the weeks add up and before you know it you're halfway through the year. 

If you know me, you know that I'm always running at a million miles an hour. I like to keep myself busy and my to-do list is always growing. But I'm also known for getting shit done. I like to think of time management as my superpower! So I thought I would share with you some easy tips and mindset hacks to help you be productive and move forward with flow instead of force.

Whether you're a business owner, a busy Mum or you're trying to kick some personal goals; this is your guide to becoming a "get shit done" kinda person!  

Goals and Big Rocks: 

Everyone has goals. They might be business goals, life goals, personal goals or just a goal for the day - We've all got something we are working towards. Goal setting helps you set intentions and makes you feel like you've got a direction, and keeps you feeling inspired and excited. I like to write my goals down in my diary so that I can see it right in front of me, but you can also try a digital calendar, a whiteboard or even just the notes section of your phone. 

Every morning I ask myself "What is your big rock?". Regardless of how long my to-do list is, there is always one non-negotiable item that needs to be done today to help push you further towards your goals. By identifying my one major rock before starting my day, I can structure my time to ensure I'm not just ticking small things off my to-do list, but I am also moving towards my bigger goals. And if nothing else - at least today I got one step closer towards a goal that I have identified is important to me.

Lists:

Your brain is like a desk. When you've got stuff all over your desk, it's tough to feel productive and get shit done. If you're continually adding items to a mental to-do list, your brain has to work in overdrive to remember and manage everything. With so much brain activity, you'll struggle to stay on task, remain productive, be inspired, think innovatively and keep focused. 

Did you know Approximately 1500 words run through your brain each minute?

That sounds exhausting enough. So as soon as I think of something that needs doing, I write it down on a piece of paper. Getting the information out of my head and onto a list keeps my brain as a clear desk, where I can come and sit, be still, be inspired, stay focused and get shit done without being overwhelmed (or distracted). 

Eat The Frog:

Another way I like to start my mornings is to eat the frog. After setting my goals and writing my lists, I always work out what is going to be the hardest thing to do, something that's going to use the most brainpower. Most people, especially creatives, are most productive in the morning. After a long day of using our brains, thinking creatively and problem-solving, we can struggle to find the energy to undertake big tasks. 

Decision Fatique

You might struggle with energy, or the quality of your work might suffer too. Decision fatigue  is a psychological phenomenon which suggests that a long session of decision making will lead to deteriorating quality of the decisions made. This is what can build up throughout the day as all our decisions accumulate and if you leave your big task until the end of the day you may experience exhaustion from decision fatigue.

When you’re in a state of decision fatigue you can become so overwhelmed that you end up making no choice at all, or completing work that you’ll only need to re-do later. Doing the thing that's going to use the most physical or mental energy in the morning will ensure you give every project or task the attention it deserves.

Have you ever noticed brides planning their wedding are so picky and selective at the start and by the end, they say to caterers, the groom or the bridal party to pick one themselves? Or, even after you have a long day at work of making decisions and exercising your willpower to be polite to colleagues and bosses, when your partner asks you what you what for dinner, do you snap at them? Or do you find it hard to decide and just settle for the easiest option? This is an example of decision fatigue.

FUN FACT: Major politicians and businessmen such as Former US President Barack Obama, Steve Jobs and Mark Zuckerberg have reduced their everyday clothing down to one or two of the same suits. This limited the number of decisions they had to make in a day to decrease their decision fatigue and free up their mental energy to make more important decisions and work on their big rocks… like running a country!

Five Minute Rule:

This one is my secret tool. If something is going to take me less than 5 minutes to do, I just do it there and then. It might be quickly replying or sending an email or text, cleaning something or just entering some data into a system.

There is no point putting these small items on my to-do list and just watching that list get longer and longer. The five-minute rule helps prevent the to-do list from getting overwhelmingly long (or my head space getting messy) and is a great way to surprise other people with your efficient responses. 

Done is better than perfect:

We all know a recovering perfectionist (guilty!), and this can be a hard sentiment for some people to accept, but too many people spend too much time getting ready, just to get ready. There is a big difference between someone that says they want to do something and someone that goes out and does it. 

I have to credit Mel Robbins for this one, but the 5 Second Rule is an absolute game changer. She’s written a book on it, so go check it out if you want to understand the research and psychology behind it. It is a great metacognition trick which allows you to outsmart your brain and beat it at its own game. The rule says we need to countdown from 5 and then just do whatever it is that needs doing.

It's probably not going to be perfect, but if you wait for something to be perfect before you launch it or to be the perfect person before you start, you'll never get anything done. Waiting for perfection prevents you from being successful, from supporting other people, from finding new opportunities, and from getting shit done.  

Notifications and Batching:

First things first, turn off your social media notifications.  Being online and connected all the time means our brain is continually pulled in different directions. It's so easy to get distracted and addicted to the dopamine hit that comes with a new like on Instagram or a message on Facebook (we are all just junkies looking for our next hit), but checking these notifications and interrupting your flow of work probably isn't going to help you get any closer to your goals. Trying to stay on top of these notifications all the time is also how you end up feeling anxious, overwhelmed, unproductive and busy without getting anything done. 

Your brain works better when you batch tasks and focus on one thing at a time. I like to group my tasks into similar jobs so that I can switch my entire focus to the task at hand. I always set aside time to check my notifications during the day, but I try not to let these pop up while I'm working.

Timers

Parkinson's Law suggests “works expands so as to fill the time available for its completion”. This psychological phenomenon depicts that if you give yourself a week to complete a two hour task, the task will likely increase in complexity and become more daunting in order to fill that week. It might not take any extra time, but the stress and tension associated with the task will definitely make it feel like a huge weight!

Essentially the work expands so as to fill the time available for its completion. Just think about how often it takes you an entire afternoon to clean your home, but if your friend is 15-minutes away, you can miraculously clean your entire house before they arrive?

Designated time slots will keep you on-task and productive! This is why I love setting time slots or setting timers for each batch of work, and make a little game of racing yourself.

Treat yourself 

I know a lot of us are doers and we're always working towards big goals, but it's important to celebrate the small wins too! I like to set myself little goals throughout the day, which I reward myself for completing by picking something off my "joy menu". These joyful celebrations might be a sweet snack from the HSE, getting to look at social media, taking a walk outside or calling my Mum.

I find these treats are a great way to keep my motivation up during the day and recognise my hard work and progress! It’s also a great way to treat yourself when you’re racing your timer and giving yourself a break between your batched activities to be able to stay energised and switch up your energy before moving on the next task that might require a different skillset or mindset.

Resting and boundaries 

Even get shit done people need time to rest. I'm always doing something and setting new goals, but the reason I get shit done is that I've got really good boundaries around my work. I treat my business as a 9-6 job, and after hours I'm not on my phone, I'm not in my emails, and I'm not on social media.

I don't work over the weekends, which is a luxury I have now that I didn't have when I was building up my business. If you don't rest, you're going to burn yourself out, and you'll never end up kicking any of your goals. 

I would love to hear your best hacks for getting shit done? With the right mindset and little hacks, we can all become more productive and make progress towards our goals with flow instead of frazzle.

Why most people are dissatisfied with their jobs

Did you know 80% of people are dissatisfied in their jobs?

The average person works 90,000 hours in his life - that's a long time to be miserable!

How did we get here?

I think a lot of it has to do with work life balance. Once upon a time, work for most of us, was done living life. It was hunting, growing and cooking our food, teaching our children, building our homes  - we would have time for joy, connection, family, the outdoors, exercise and hobbys sprinkled throughout our day. 🌻🍃

Now most people have 8-10 hours a day where work is separate and at the expense of things that bring them joy and happiness. It doesn't help that in the USA workers only take an average of 50% of their paid vacation days.

🤯 That's crazy! You've got 90,000 hours to knock out, take the chance to chill on the beach when someone gives it to you or just stay at home and relax, spend time with your family, friends, enjoying Hobbies or do sweet fuck all with no obligation! 😎

Lauren on a rope swing

It's even sadder in Japan where 10,000 workers per year drop at their desks as a result of 60 to 70 hour work weeks 😢 -  the phenomenon so prevalent that it even has a name "Karoshi".

I think the biggest problem with all the dissatisfaction is that in most cases people are bringing the wrong mentality and the wrong expectations into their workplace.

Yes we all have to work, yes we need money, yes there will be not so fun parts in every job, yes it helps to find something you enjoy and are passionate about and try figure out a way to monetise it. But have and enjoy life OUTSIDE OF WORK, make time for it, prioritise it and protect it!

But most people think if they work long enough and make enough money eventually whatever happiness they are postponing will just sort of arrive. If that were true then why is it studies show that the peak of income that correlates to happiness is $83,000? 

🤔 There is no amount of work you would do, that will finally make the work go away and definitely no amount of money you can make that will solve all your problems. And the sooner you realise that, the sooner you can look for happiness in places where it might actually be found. ✨

Inspired by Aubrey Marcus’s book / Own the day, Own your life.

Pstttt have you ordered your copy of my book yet?

They should start arriving this week! I can’t wait to break down some of the myths for you around happiness, what it is, what it isn’t and where you can actually find that fulfilment most of us are chasing.

You can grab your copy here! Be sure to send me a photo when yours arrives and share with me your biggest break throughs and take aways.

Are you craving some clarity, direction and passion for life again?

Hey beautiful

As you know by now, my background and studies have been in psychology. I am super passionate about mental health and even more so how people can leverage off mindset to create more abundance, happiness and health in their lives.

I know we are in a mental health epidemic (and this may be controversial to say), despite the fact there are a lot of people out there with chemical imbalances needing medication I also believe there is a lot of people out there feeling stuck, "depressed", stagnant, unmotivated and uninspired about life for two reasons in particular;

1. They haven't set a goal.

We as humans actually get our fulfilment not so much from 'achieving' but from growing and evolving. Without a vision, a goal or something to strive towards, count down to or look forward to - you loose a sense of purpose or direction.

2. Or the goals you do have are extrinsically motivated.

You're striving to achieve goals, live or work in alignment with the values of what society or your parents expect of you, or what friends and colleagues will support.

So instead you abandon your truth, your gifts, your values and what lights you up and end up settling for a life of expectations, obligations and people pleasing without much joy, passion, expansion, freedom or authenticity suppressing 'the real you'.

In 5 sleeps my life coaching program launches!

I can't wait to be coaching my clients to help them get clarity on their values, setting goals that align with them, learning how to worry less about the opinions of others, how to regulate their own emotions, be responsible for their own happiness and stop self sabotaging!

Essentially learning how to live a life of thriving rather than just surviving…

It isn't 'woo woo', we won't just be talking about the happy and fun parts of life or work - we will be getting real and going deep.

I will be there each week to hold you accountable, set small achievable goals and ensure you're making progress until you're in full momentum and living fearlessly and passionately your own Life Above Zero.

Are you a Mum?

𝗔𝗿𝗲 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗮 𝗠𝘂𝗺? 

Secretly I can not wait to be a mum… (well let’s be honest it’s not that big of a secret - I tell anyone who leaves me with their bubba ).

But when I was working full time I struggled to look after just me between a 50 hour week, 10 hours commuting, trying to be a good friend, daughter, sister, partner, keep the house clean, do the groceries, cook and somewhere in there work out. I was like f@&k how do mums in the 21st century do it all?  

I felt like I was constantly chasing my tail, never getting ahead and deflated as I knew trying to fit kids into that mix would be stressful as hell, not to mention only having 9 months maternity leave then having to either live on one income or place my bubba in before and after school care just to spend 2 days a week with them and miss all their milestones... that is not what I wanted my motherhood to be like.

I don’t want to bring beautiful babies into this world just for someone else to look after them... 

That was my biggest motivator to start looking into other ways of working!

Ways I could still make a difference, have an identity outside of motherhood, have an awesome income, do something I am passionate about and enjoy,  educate and help people with their holistic health and happiness AND not have to sacrifice my career or magical moments with my future family. 

Voila .... that’s how Babes in Business was born! 

People think you have to be a “babe” to do business with us. You don’t.

That’s just where we were in our life when we started wanting to set ourselves up so when we are mums we don’t have to make the same sacrifices most women have to in the 21st century.

We work with a lot of mums in Bizz too - check out our video to get a bit of a vibe for our tribe and message me if you would love to hear more stories from other mums in our team and see the impact we are making collectively around the world, it’s pretty special. I won’t lie, I’m pretty proud of us.

#theBIBclique

An Introvert living in an Extrovert world

I am an Introvert… What next…

A few different things inspired my VLOG this week; personal experiences for people who misread me, introverted babes I mentor in business doubting themselves in the business world because they're not an "extrovert", and clients I coach in wellness who feel guilty because they don't want to go to big social gatherings, as it feels more like a chore for them that they have to drag themselves to, rather than something that gets them excited and lit up!

So many people get surprised when I tell them I am an introvert, funnily enough though.. Im not surprised that they are surprised!

Because so many people see me with my "business jacket" on, where I do things that scare the shit out of me like VLOGS, presentations, workshops, conferences and networking events.

That is "Business" Lozz, the perception I have to muster my energy and courage to portray on my social media platforms as a way to get my vision, message and mission out there to those who need it (because I know my vision is much bigger than me, and you don't serve the world by playing small).

Im Not Surprised

Another reason why I am not surprised and people may not believe me is because so many are not aware of what the true meaning is of these words.

Unlike most believe, introversion and extroversion is not a theory about how outgoing or shy we are,  in psychology and research it actually relates to where we get our energy from.

Or in other words, how we recharge our brains and batteries - Or how I like to say it fill up your cup!

Introverts

(or those of us with introverted tendencies) tend to recharge by spending time alone - for example for me thats walking, one on one coffee or wine dates with my girlfriends, watching a movie with my partner, going for a long walk, sitting at the beach ALONE, meditating, journaling. We lose energy from being around people for long periods of time, particularly large crowds.

Extroverts

On the other hand, gain energy from other people. Extroverts actually find their energy is sapped when they spend too much time alone. They recharge by being social.

So tune in to listen to how you can learn AND understand your personality type so you can make smart decisions on how to regulate your emotions - in a way that is healthy FOR YOU (and not feel guilty if going to your friends party isn't the best thing for you do to right now).

If you're an introvert already in or embarking on - stepping into the business world which is all about MARKETING yourself as an extrovert to get your mission and message across,  tune in to hear how I use my "Business jacket" - as well as those of you who may judge others from what you perceive them to be on social media in comparison to a social setting...keep these golden nuggets in the back of your mind not only to be a better friend, but human.

Understanding others and yourself is the key to spreading kindness and compassion, and the world needs more of that. 

Try out our new Happiness Test

Sex, Business and Money

How to have it all

I love mentoring women to live a life of health, wealth and abundance. But one aspect that seems like it is "taboo" is the wealth aspect of it...yes, wealth in experiences and relationships, but also MONEY!

Why is it that when men are the breadwinners, and are proud of being able to support themselves and their loved ones, they talk about money and streams of income and they are just talking "business", but when women do is considered "rude", "arrogant", "cocky", or not "humble" or "grounded'?

The reason I am so passionate about empowering women to talk about about their finances is because 80% of women who are under the poverty line weren't when they were married.

Which means we either rely on men for an income or, we don't know or understand how to manage our finances or investments.

Did you know today, that 1 in 2 marriages end in divorce? And so many women stay in abusive and unhappy marriages/relationships because they are are financially dependent on their partner.

Take our Free Happiness Test

Having children and losing an income to stay at home to look after them and shower them in love is one reason for this, which brings up my question to you beautiful boss mummas out there (or young women like me who are questioning when they will be in the position to be able to do so without fear of finances) ... when you are working for a living, when you stop working... how do you afford to live?

Obviously, you don’t go into a marriage or relationship expecting it to end, or a job expecting to be be laid off, but it happens. So if you're relying on a parter, a job... you're putting your future in someone else hands.

So babes, lets empower each other and make it ok to talk about it... Sex, Business and Money!

Lets talk about Fear

What you can learn from fear?

Have there been some things you have been putting off because you’re scared? Scared of failure, scared of success, scared of what others may think?

Lets talk about fear!! Fear is the biggest manipulator in world - it causes people to not think logically and cheats them out of making some of the best decisions of their life.

However, I understand why…fear (real or perceived), triggers the same stress response in our body, so tune into my LIVE where I shine some light on that little shit because the truth is you can either be comfortable or grow…you can’t have both. So which one do you choose?

Step forward into growth or backwards into safety?

Babes in Business take on Vegas!

Babes in Business Hits Vegas

Hey guys I am so sorry I haven't dropped in some love for a while.. I surprised my parents and I took them over to Las Vegas!!

If any of you have Las Vegas on your bucket list there is a squad of us heading back over in December next year.

I have been over there a few years ago purely for the partying scene and had lots of fun, BUT I actually just got back traveling this time with some babes that are passionate about learning about business, wealth, health, personal and professional growth.

We made the focus of the trip more so about personal development, spiritual growth with seminars with world renown speakers, workshops AND LOTS OF FUN!

I made this VLOG to capture it all for you - it was such an amazing week!

We are starting to plan some fun trips for next year orientated around the same values (we already have Perth, Bali and Las Vegas on the calendar).

If you want to (or know someone who might, feel free to share this with them) travel with a tribe of passionate, inspiring, fun women and share the same interests as us, email me so we can keep connected on Facebook and I can invite you guys along!

Girls... lets talk about boys

Hey girls... lets talk about boys

How many of you are on the other side of a beak up or currently trying to make it through one?

I did a live on this earlier this week and would love to know if this video resonates with you on how girls and boys deal with our shit differently.

If you have a gf who needs to hear this feel free to share it with her, sometimes they just need to hear it from someone else

If you would love to read some of my previous blogs on gender psychology and some fun facts on how and why we deal with our shit differently you can have some fun below, I am sure I am not the only one that wonders if we are really from Venus and men are from Mars am I?

My Biggest Lesson

Recap on the biggest lesson I have ever learnt

If you missed my live this week on my Facebook...

I spoke about my biggest lesson that I have ever learnt - one that  my beautiful mum taught me when I was very young and it continues to come up time and time again, ensuring that I don't forget it.

Don't place your expectations on others

This is something that once learnt you can apply to friendships, relationships, colleagues at work and our wider society.

Tune in to understand why you should and CAN fearlessly live and love with your heart on your sleeve, be the best version of you, live your life accordance to your values and up to your own expectations.

“People are often unreasonable, irrational, and self-centered. Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives. Be kind anyway.
If you are successful, you will win some unfaithful friends and some genuine enemies. Succeed anyway.
If you are honest and sincere people may deceive you. Be honest and sincere anyway.
What you spend years creating, others could destroy overnight. Create anyway.
If you find serenity and happiness, some may be jealous. Be happy anyway.
The good you do today, will often be forgotten. Do good anyway.
Give the best you have, and it will never be enough. Give your best anyway.”

— Mother Teresa

How I took control of my weight, skin and happiness AND MAINTAINED IT!

21 Days of Meditation to Raise Awareness for Mental Health

AND IT'S UP! Click below on the link to support us on our challenge in the Healthstyle Emporium this month to be happier and healthier with our 21 days of meditation in to raise awareness for mental health and the services Headspace can provide with our 21daysofHSEbliss.

https://give.everydayhero.com/au/the-healthstyle-emporium

I have been talking to so many women lately who are struggling with self-esteem and self talk because of being unhappy with their skin and weight...I had my own personal story and I know it doesn't seem like a big deal until you suffer it yourself so I wanted to share my tips and tricks (and some facts regarding psychology and research) on how you can finally take control of your weight, skin and happiness - and MAINTAIN it!

I speak about the effects stress has on the body and why it is so important to come from a place of love and not fear, which is why I'm loving our meditation challenge in the Emporium this month.

We would really love your help in leaving a legacy behind and inspiring change around the world by raising awareness and inspiring one person at a time to be the healthiest and happiest version of themselves. If you would love to be involved in something bigger than yourself, please don’t hesitate to message me or share my video above. I would love to hear from you!

Sending you all big love and wishing you a beautiful day!

Why balance is BULLS*%T

Dealing with Excuses

Earlier this week I did a live on my Facebook squashing some of the bullshit excuses and myths people have and tell themselves about success and why they can't have it.

1. First one being is that it comes from a natural ability...sorry but NO, it's a trait called GRIT and I will tell you a tell about what it is and how you develop it.

2. Second is that if you can't keep a balance in the pursuit of success it's not working or meant to be for you.. sorry to break it to you BUT balance is a PRIVILEGE.

Tune in to hear the research and facts around what it takes to be successful so you can understand you can have, do and be whoever you want. There is a Life Above Zero and you deserve to live it!

Don't Complicate It

Time to make things simple

I hope 2017 is treating you well! You may of seen over Christmas, photos of my travels around Mexico, Colombia and Cuba! I have definitely started the new year feeling refreshed and enlightened, it was an awakening becoming so aware of how fast paced and complex our lives are in comparison to the time warped Cuba!

When did we get in such a hurry?

In the western world we make things so complex - but in terms of our health and happiness it really is quite simple; we need to get right back to the basics, we need to stop complicating things.

It's sad but nearly everyone I know and the clients I work with, are overwhelmed, overworked, overfed yet undernourished.

We are bombarded with so many options and so much information, we throw our hands up in the air and give up.

Let me simplify it for you

If you're feeling grumpy, unfulfilled, lethargic, stagnant, in a slump... do at least one, if not all of the following things:

1. Put love back into your food. Eat more Wholefoods! Eat more food that has been touched by the sun as it contains natural energy. Eat to fuel your body not to flaw it.

2. Drink more water.

3. Move your body every day. Include conscious movement into your lifestyle, do things you enjoy, run, walk, swim, dance, kick the footy, ride .

4. Love and invest in your relationships. Put in as often as you takeaway and get rid of the relationships that don't make you feel good.

5. Reflect. Just like Alcohol addiction - ask what role is technology having in your life? Use it as a tool don't let it use you.

6. Practise Gratitude. Be thankful for your running clean water, warm showers, our health care system, a roof over your head. When you come from a place of abundance, you attract abundance.

It's rocket science right? ;)

Have a beautiful, simplified day lovers

Are you inwardly fluent or outwardly influenced?

Understanding how you are Influenced

They say do something everyday that scares you... and oh man did this put butterflies is my stomach but I know that is because this is something I know means a lot to me ... I love my job as a Life Coach, I love helping people whether that is in my one on one coaching or workshops,

I love that look on my clients faces and their tone in their voice when it all just clicks and they find that inner peace, clarity and purpose BUT I also know that too often the people who need my services the most are the ones that can't afford it (and unfortunately at this point in my life I need to make a living ).

This is why I have jumped out of my comfort zone and FINALLY launched my own YouTube channel in the hope I can help people out there that I am not able to currently reach within my four walls.

I know you guys have heard me talk about wanting to launch my own Youtube Channel before and now I HAVE FINALLY DONE IT. So please subscribe and share, I would love your feedback and am so grateful for your continued support . Please feel free to email me ideas of things or topics you may be struggling with and you would like me to talk about in future video's.

This video challenges you on who you are...are you aware of what it is that you stand for? What are your values? What lights you up?

If you don't stand for something, you will fall for everything.  Having that clarity around who you are, what is important to you and the direction you want to go will make you an outwardly influential person, otherwise you will spend a lot of time being influenced, doing things to please others, spending time and energy on things that don't make you a healthier and happier you.

So what is it you need to become clearer on?

There is a Life Above Zero and you deserve to live it, Enjoy!

Are women really from Venus and men from Mars?

Breaking it down

Generally in our western world women are “stereotypically” known to be overwhelmed with feelings and to be more guided by them, in contrast to men who “stereotypically” make decisions based on cool, rational deliberation.

Our two emotional and communication styles have people all around the world questioning how can we be so different? Are women really from Venus and men from Mars?

We are prisoners of society

The culture you surround yourself with dictates what is “appropriate” expressions of emotions and consequently influences the differences we see between men and women portraying the same feelings in different ways.

These are called display rules - and are enriched in our culture. They are so deeply absorbed and indoctrinated by society that they have been led to the belief that there are true sex differences in relation to emotion.

What if I told you men were more emotional than women?

Contradictory to today’s gender stereotypes, research may even suggest that men might be slightly more emotional than women. Whereas women may be more willing to report their emotions and claim to have stronger feelings, social norms may put pressure on men to suppress their emotions and not admit to having the same strong feelings.

The stereotypes of overemotional women and restrained men are among the most prevalent in the United States. A study stereotyping of emotion showed a bias in identifying anger with men and not women. Participants tended to interpret women’s reactions as sadness rather than anger, and had trouble seeing women as angry, even when women’s expressions were clearly angry.

The tendency for women to cry when they feel angry has repetitively appeared in cross-cultural surveys of emotion and in studies in which women alone explored their emotion expressions. For women, crying is a common expression of emotion, even in response to anger. It is considered a more culturally appropriate means of expressing anger than physical aggression.

However, crying is discouraged among boys and consequently men are much less likely to cry than women. Indeed men often misinterpret women’s crying as sadness or grief, which would be inappropriate in situations that provoke anger. This tendency for women to cry in situations in which men would not, may provide an explanation as to why women receive the label of “overemotional”.

The greater emotionality of women may be an illusion, the traditional view that women are more emotional and talk more, has also proven to be false. The smallest of gender differences are depicted, in which comparatively highlights (would you believe it) male’s tendency to talk more!

Why Men are more Emotional than Women

1. Men fall in love faster than women

2. Men have more experiences than women of loving someone that doesn’t love them back

3. When a love relationship breaks up men suffer more intense emotional distress than women

4. Men have more traditional concepts of love and marriage and are more romantic than women

5. Men are more likely to have romantic beliefs such as “Love lasts forever” and “there is one perfect love in the world for everyone.”

6. Women however are more likely to report physical symptoms of being in love, such as feeling like they are “floating on a cloud”

7. Boys find it more difficult than girls to calm themselves down once upset, so therefore work harder to avoid emotion in the first place

The traditional stereotype of female emotionality is wrong.

However there is an understandable basis for it with western society and culture placing men under more pressure to restrain from emotions and refrain from expressing feelings.

 I will let these facts resonate with you, in the meantime keep your eyes out for part 2 of this issue – learning specifically the psychology on how to understand your other half!

If you want to know more or read the psychological scientific journals yourself ?

 Click Here to find the list of studies mentioned in this issue

How to Fake it till you make it

I am not a complete Hippy, I swear!

I personally really love positive psychology, I live by concepts like the law of attraction, what you feel you attract, faking it until you make it etc. I strongly believe in how much power we hold simply in our mindsets… my belief in how powerful the mind can be was reinforced by my studies in Psychology.

I live by corny quotes you find in the book ‘The secret’’ one of my favourite’s is “whether you think you can or can’t, you are right.”

But, in saying that, the more I study and the more I read I find there is science and research that backs up my beliefs, so I don’t feel like a complete Hippy!

Here’s a little psychology for you...

Some psychology terms which relate to the power of perspective and belief having more influence than reality or actual ability;

Self-fulfilling prophecies;

referring to situations in which our initial expectation of others or even of our own self-expectations shape our behavior which in turn leads us to behave in ways consistent with these initial expectations.

Pygmalion effect;

which entails if you think something will happen you may unconsciously make it happen through your actions or inaction, in the workplace/educational system it is the phenomenon whereby the greater expectation placed upon people the better they perform.

So, does this mean you can fake it until you make it?

Virtually every social interaction involves reciprocal evaluations and the stakes are often higher in one direction than the other, with one party often having more power to impact the future of the other such as controlling access to resources.

For example in a job interview, the interviewer has power over the job candidates future and consequently the importance of the interviewers evaluation’s of the candidate has greater implications than the evaluations the candidate has of the interviewer.

Or on a date, lets be honest here! The woman wears the pants in todays dating world. The woman has control over whether or not this date will be going anywhere after the first coffee.

When was the last time you were nervous or being judged?

If you guys think back to any situation before you’ve entered a high-stake social evaluation – like a job interview, a first date or even like giving a presentation at school or uni? Most of us shrink in our chairs, hunch over our phones, notes or speech cards, adopting nonverbal postures that cause us to feel even more powerless.

But what if we did the opposite?

What if people were to stretch out and occupy more space, rather than slouching and taking up less?

In both human and non-human primates, expansive open postures reflect power whereas the opposite (closed and contractive) reflect low power, not only do these postures reflect power…but they PRODUCE it.

Prove it!

In a study by Carney, Cuddy, and Yap (2010), a brief power-pose induction was sufficient in biological testing to produce elevations in testosterone, decreases in cortisol, increased self-reported feelings of power, and a greater self-reported tolerance for risk.

In another study by Amy Cuddy, Caroline Wilmuth and Dana Carney from University of California at Berkeley, 2012 (The Benefit of power posing before a high-stake social evaluation) demonstrated that holding a high power pose increases both your implicit and explicit feelings of power and dominance, risk-taking behaviour, action orientation, confidence, performance, pain tolerance, and testosterone (being the dominance hormone) whilst consequently also reducing stress, anxiety and cortisol.

What was the study?

This study tested whether changing ones non-verbal behaviour prior to a high stakes social evaluation (such as a job interview) would improve performance in the evaluated task.

Participants were manipulated to either hold a high-power pose (e.g. standing up straight with the hands on the hips) or a low-power pose (e.g. touching the neck while sitting) for seven minutes before a job interview.

As predicted high power posers performed better and were more likely to be chosen for hire, and this relationship was mediated only by presentation quality not the speech’s quality. The high power posers in contrast to the low, appeared to better maintain their composure, project more confidence and present more captivating and enthusiastic speeches, in turn leading to higher overall performance evaluations.

Its suggested by non-verbally manipulating power, the high power poses effectively took advantage of the psychological and physiological perks typically associated with high power, despite being in the low – power position in relation to the evaluators.

So, how can I fake it until I make it?

It is true, you don’t have to be confident, but you can trick your body into believing you are – which in turns makes others believe you are! So what is the difference (no one has to know you are shitting your pants but you!)

So next time…

• you go on a date

• go for a job interview

• have to deliver a presentation

• feel powerless due to hierarchical status within organisations,

• presenting/reporting to a manager

• even when competing for a promotion

…or are in any other social situation where you feel you are being judged or assessed…FAKE IT.

Get it done like a boss!

Take 5 minutes for yourself – get in the zone… Stand confidently with your hands on your hips, or lay back in your chair with your legs up on the desk and your hands behind your head…

Take up as much space as possible, it’s your space, you deserve to be here. Own it, you are powerful, believe in yourself, believe in the power of the mind. Embody it…

Now go get them boss!!

11 Tips on How To Stay Motivated to Achieve Goals

It is around this time of the year, people have got stuck back into work, getting the kids settled back into school and transporting them to their daily sporting commitments – that those new year resolutions and the best intentions you had to make this year YOUR year have lost their momentum with your energy being spent on various other commitments.

This blog, is just a quick one – letting you in on some secrets on how to keep the motivation to see those resolutions the whole year through.

Whatever your goals are – the best way to ensure you have the commitment and dedication to keep working at them is asking yourself where is the motivation coming from?

You will find that fire and focus is easier to maintain when the goals you are setting are intrinsically motivated.

You want them, you are willing to work and make sacrifices for them – because YOU want it. If you are setting a goal because someone else is telling you to or because society expects you to, you can bet when you are faced with your first hurdle you will struggle to source the energy and desire to jump.

Goals are fun.

They are not a chore or a way to beat yourself up – they are an opportunity to articulate clearly to the universe what you want and hold yourself accountable to take steps to get there!

That fire and passion will drive you no matter what obstacles you face because you genuinely and organically wake up each day yearning for it. Goals (it doesn’t matter how big or small) help give our lives purpose and meaning.

So if you are feeling like you are stuck in a rut – set a small goal to help you get up and moving (my previous blog has a goal setting activity to help you set your own goals).

11 Tips on keeping motivated to achieve goals

1.Hold yourself accountable.

Right from the beginning when you are setting your goals – don’t rely on anything that you don’t have power over. This is your goal – no one else’s. You are responsible for achieving it – if you are going to make excuses or blame others – it was never your goal to begin with. Hiccups and hurdles are part of the process, you set out to achieve YOUR goal, so remember these are not failures only feedback – what are you going to try next or do differently?

2.Just Start.

Trust me, setting the goal is the hardest part because you have had to sit down and really ask yourself what it is you truly want, what you are willing to sacrifice and work hard for. So as Nike says “just do it” – you don’t have to see the whole stair case just the first step.

3.Positive self-talk

Positive self-talk is important at all times however it is even more crucial when it comes to goals because if you let your doubt and self-limiting beliefs dominate your thought processes they will become your reality. You CAN do this, You are WORTHY of this, You WILL do this!

4.Visualize it!

Visualization is a technique used by many sporting and life coaches. It derives from Neuro Linguistic Programing – visualize yourself doing it, achieving it, how do you feel? What do you see, hear and smell? Who do you tell? What are you wearing? Who is there to share the moment with you and celebrate?

Visualizing makes it all more real as your brain builds stronger neuron connections, as it is not able to discriminate between real and imagined experiences – it produces the same hormones, neurological responses and feelings regardless, allowing you to tune in and refuel that fire regularly, reminding you of that satisfaction waiting at the end of all the hard work.

5.Write here, there and everywhere!

Repetition, constantly put it out into the universe, have little cues everywhere reminding you what you are doing it all for. Whether it be a picture of your dream holiday on the fridge, your body at it’s fittest as your phone background, having your goal written at the front of your dairy or on your bathroom mirror, having it set as your alarm in the mornings etc.

Another handy tip is having your goals as your passwords! These days with technology we have to enter them a few times each day, why not use these opportunities to refuel your motivation and commitment.

6.find Like minded friends!

Surround yourself with like-minded friends, friends who also have goals and aspirations of their own. People who encourage you, empower you and support you, it is true, your vibe attracts your tribe!

7.Get Help!

This goal is still YOUR goal – the destination at the end doesn’t change however sometimes a problem shared is a problem halved. Whether it be outsourcing some work so you can focus on some bigger goals, or seeking a mentor or life coach to help refuel your ambition.

8.Celebrate small wins!

In my earlier blog regarding goal setting – we advised big goals should be broken into smaller ones. This is done to help keep you motivated, to make the bigger goal more real and achievable. Use the smaller goals to track your progress and celebrate each victory! Celebrate your ambition, your commitment! You are doing it! You Go Glen Coco, you GO!

9.Get re-inspired!

Like happiness, like energy – you can’t expect to be feeling high levels of motivation and excitement 24/7. You do have to work at it and refuel that fire. So every now and then look for inspiration to keep that drive, whether it be from reading blogs, books, movies, documentaries or talking to others. The world is filled with amazing people with amazing stories – don’t get so caught up in your journey that you forget to notice the ambition that surrounds you, this helps ground you.

NOTE: this does not mean comparing your lives to others on social media so you feel inferior! It is about acknowledging we are all different people on different paths, and genuinely being happy, inspired and learning from others success (and failures).

10.Reflect!

Breaking those goals into smaller ones also allows you the opportunity to reflect. Reflect on where you have come from, how far you have come, who and what helped you, what you have learnt and how you have grown. This exercise helps to strengthen your gratitude and mindfulness.

11. Reassess!

I can’t say it enough, for your goals to be effective, they really do need to intrinsically motivate you… when you are regularly reflecting, ask yourself…

Is it pleasurable?

If the answer is No, ask yourself…

Is it still worth the sacrifices?

If the answer to both of these questions is No, then it is time to reassess. Don’t be hard on yourself, people change, life changes. Changing or choosing not to pursue certain goals does not mean you have failed.

Sometimes our values change as a result of our experiences and growth, and if you fail to reassess your goals frequently, your goals may no longer reflect your values, beliefs or who you are.

So Dream Big, Aim High and Have Fun! Go get em tiger!

Setting Goals that last the WHOLE New Year!

Setting Goals for the Year

Setting your goals and intentions for the New Year is not only an exercise to help you achieve success, but also allows you the time to reflect on how far you have come, the opportunity to ask yourself where it is you are going, where it is you want to be and ultimately – who do you want to be?

I know this time of the year can get vey hectic and it is a struggle to find some quiet time alone to set your goals. I’ll admit I am currently sitting on a plane on my way to the UK and it is the first opportunity I have had to sit, reflect, write and set my own goals.

Goals are Dreams with Legs

I am a big fan and advocate of goal setting. If I was to show you my goals and dreams I wrote down since finishing high school – it is as if I was telling or forecasting my future! Everything I wanted the universe has delivered!

I would love to think I was responsible for making these dreams come true – but I know setting those goals were essential in getting me to where I wanted. Goals provide you with direction and purpose. If you know what you want, what you are working towards and what is important to you – this can help guide you in every decision you make, provide clarity when you find yourself at a crossroad and empower you with motivation and direction when you find yourself lost.

Tips to making and sticking to New Years Resolutions

I am always writing blogs and sharing tips challenging your mindset and perspective, so you are able to become aware of your own values and desires, make sense of your own thoughts and get to know the real “authentic” you.

Now I want you to commit to honoring the real “authentic” you, with Nutritional and Health Coach Chani Carroso’s (some may know this amazing lady as ‘Healthy Peach’) simple goal setting activity that will start your New Year off with a Bang and will make sure it is filled with everything that makes your heart full­­!

Before you start, remember it’s about you

You need to ignore what everyone else is doing and achieving – Your life is about breaking your own limits and outgrowing yourself to live your best life. You are not in competition with anyone else – plan to out do your past not other people.

The first thing you will need to do is get yourself in the right head space. Find a big chunk out of one of the coming days before NYE to sit down and inspire yourself. Depending on what floats your boat, you may like to sit on the beach with a pen and notebook, or sit down on the couch with a yummy candle burning, or maybe in bed wrapped in donnas and pillows with your 2015 playlist playing in your headphones (For Chani she wrote this as she sat on her bed, in a pillow castle, fave candle burning, Chet Faker singing to her through her Bose and hair sandy, wet & salty from her morning ocean swim).

The fun part.

Writing down your wildest ideas. Section each page into the following:

1. Things you want to do

2. Who you want to be

3. What you want to see

4. What you want to have

5. What you want to learn and experience

6. Your one ultimate, main goal (Chani call’s it the biggie big)...

The one thing you're chasing in life. The thing you go to sleep dreaming about and wake up thinking about. Let your imagination run wild. If you have a blank spot, go to the next section/page and come back to where you got stuck later.

It will come to you. You need to have at least 3 blank moments before you have squeezed all the goal chaser juice out of you to have all of your wildest ideas on paper.

Now for each section, ask yourself the following questions:

1. Is it really my goal?

2. Is it morally right and fair to all who are concerned?

3. Can I emotionally commit to start and finish this goal?

4. Can I see myself reaching this goal?

5. Will it take me closer to my ultimate main goal (your ‘biggie big’)?

If you answered No to any of these questions, don't erase the goal, just strike a line through it and come back to it the next time you do this activity. It may not be the right time in your life for you to pursue it.

Go through and give each goal a date you want to achieve it by. Depending on how often you do this, you will have different dates for each goal, divide them into 3 month, 6 month, 1 year, 2 years and 5 year goals.

Ensure they are given a realistic time frame and work towards reaching that goal in time. You will probably find that all your little goals become the steps and journey you need to embark on to reach your biggie big. So order them perfectly and write your own future on paper.

SMART GOAL SETTING

This step is the last but the most crucial. You have to go through everything you've just written and use the S.M.A.R.T. formula. Work through one goal at a time, and take them through this process.

Your goals have to be ‘SMART’, which means: Specific , Measurable , Achievable, Results based and Time based

SPECIFIC

Be specific, cross all your t’s and dot all your i’s so to speak.

Example: “I want to buy my first home. Not an apartment, not a duplex, not a townhouse or in home in an estate, but a home with a yard in a central location close to my work.”

MEASURABLE

The best way to do this is to break it down into smaller achievable goals.

Example: “I will aim to have a deposit in 18 months time. I’ve worked out I need to save 15% of my earnings to achieve this. I will budget each pay, and begin a ‘do not touch savings account’ no exceptions and I WILL NOT touch this account until I'm ready to withdraw my deposit.

 I will stop online shopping to help me get here and to attempt to erase this genetic inbuilt habit of shopping, I will unsubscribe from boutique emails and delete the eBay app off my phone. Anything I have left over at the end of my pay cycle will go into my ‘do not touch savings account’.”

ACHIEVABLE

Your goals should challenge and stretch you a little, to make you work harder but make sure they are realistic.

Example of what NOT to write: “I will play the lotto once a week and enter a prize home draw every month to increase my chances of getting my first home.” This type of thinking will just putting a bad seed in your head. Abort! Earn your goals, don't bet your luck on trying to win them!

RESULTS BASED

If you have a goal that you’re a little iffy on, one that is hard, or will be hard to achieve (you went through 3 blank spots, its only natural to give yourself more then one biggie big), write down the obstacles and the benefits of eventually overcoming them, and achieving this goal.

Example: “I will probably miss out on a few expensive and fun outings with friends such as holidays and weekend get aways, but when I have 2/3 of my house deposit, I can start the fun part… shopping for houses, going to open homes and getting some inspo for my new home”

TIME BASED

Remember what it felt like the night before an exam, five coffee’s deep and cramming as if Dumbledore was going to give you a lifetime access pass to Hogwarts the next day if you got all the questions right?

Well same thing, give yourself a sense of urgency and a good timeframe. Anyone can save for a house deposit in 2 or 3 years time, but why not make it sooner. This will make you FOCUS on your biggie big and help you stay on track. Make your dreams real as soon as possible!

Thanks to Chani this fun little planning and goal setting activity will have you feeling inspired, motivated and focused - just in time for the New Year. It works by attracting those things in life you want to become a reality, helping those wildest ideas you thought never possible, an absolute reality. Be sure to check out Chani’s Website for more health and nutrition inspiration www.healthypeach.net.

TIPS

Use this activity to also reflect…

reflect on your year, what did you learn, what made you happy, what worked, what will you do differently next year. Remember there is no such thing as failure – only feedback. This strategy and way of thinking will help you in strengthening and practicing your mindfulness and gratitude.

A balanced life is reflective of balanced goals.

When you are setting your goals make sure they are reflective of your values. An easy way to ensure this is by listing your 5 top values, aspects of your life you prioritise over others - they don’t need to be in order.For Example; Health, Happiness, Family, Career, Finances.

If you're not sure what your top 5 values are... do this quick 5 min quizz and it will help work it out for you.

Then for each value make sure you have a corresponding goal – whether it be a big change or maintaining your current efforts. This ensures that one goal does not consume all your energy in the new year causing you to neglect other areas of life that are also important to you. This way you now have have a written commitment to hold yourself accountable to in the new year; to approach your life with a holistic and mindful approach.

Wishing you all a safe and Merry Christmas and a New Year filled with health and happiness, and a big THANKYOU to my friends, family and followers (old and new) for the support getting Life Above Zero off the ground.

I can’t wait to see what we all can achieve in 2015 and who I get to help on their journey. I’m excited! See you the first week back in January!

Sending Love and Light