Have you ever wanted to ask me the same questions?

I got to catch up and connect with the beautiful coaching duo April and Angela from Soulful Of Yourself last week and share same love and light with their gorgeous online community.

We chat all things health, wellness & happiness, and empowering women to reclaim control over their lives and truly live their own Life Above Zero!

Enjoy!

2017 New Years with the Crew!

Happy Sunday you beautiful souls!

I am so sorry I haven’t dropped in some love lately, I literally hit the ground running this year with business events, conferences, celebrating gorgeous friends getting engaged and others getting married. WOW - do I feel the love this year!!

You have probably also seen I have been working on launching my THIRD business sneakily behind the scenes which is getting LAUNCHED NEXT WEEK!!!

Watch this space, I can not wait to share it with you! It is something that is so close to my heart and I know you are going to love it!

I have been so excited just to have a couple of weeks to do sweet !@#$ all!  - and I have loved every second of it! I love slowing down, tuning in, realigning and getting re-inspired. Remember that you need to be the best version of you to give the best version of you, sometimes you need to be selfish to be selfless and actually need to slow down in order to catch up.

So in saying that, I finally got around to reflecting on all the beautiful memories and laughs we had with our gang over New Years as I put together our VLOG capturing what we got up to in South West Rocks (ironically which was the last time I completely turned off - I highly recommend making time at least once a month to give yourself a complete break from social media, timelines, expectations and societal pressures).

Such beautiful memories to have and look back on (including that of our mate Griffo popping the big question and our gorgeous Kendelle saying “yes”), as we continue to move forward in our crazy fast paced lives and open new chapters.

My favourite memory from this trip was on New Years night, we all sat around a table and did our “gratefuls”, one by one we shared what we were grateful for from the year that had been.

Lots of tears (both happy and sad) - but what you feel in that moment is nothing but pure unconditional love - for the journey, for the friends, for the support, for the lessons.

I can not wait to be sitting around a table this New Years and reflect on what magic, triumphs, lessons, love and laughter 2018 brought us all - one thing I know is that none of us will never have to go through any of it alone.

I love you guys, this one is for you!

An Introvert living in an Extrovert world

I am an Introvert… What next…

A few different things inspired my VLOG this week; personal experiences for people who misread me, introverted babes I mentor in business doubting themselves in the business world because they're not an "extrovert", and clients I coach in wellness who feel guilty because they don't want to go to big social gatherings, as it feels more like a chore for them that they have to drag themselves to, rather than something that gets them excited and lit up!

So many people get surprised when I tell them I am an introvert, funnily enough though.. Im not surprised that they are surprised!

Because so many people see me with my "business jacket" on, where I do things that scare the shit out of me like VLOGS, presentations, workshops, conferences and networking events.

That is "Business" Lozz, the perception I have to muster my energy and courage to portray on my social media platforms as a way to get my vision, message and mission out there to those who need it (because I know my vision is much bigger than me, and you don't serve the world by playing small).

Im Not Surprised

Another reason why I am not surprised and people may not believe me is because so many are not aware of what the true meaning is of these words.

Unlike most believe, introversion and extroversion is not a theory about how outgoing or shy we are,  in psychology and research it actually relates to where we get our energy from.

Or in other words, how we recharge our brains and batteries - Or how I like to say it fill up your cup!

Introverts

(or those of us with introverted tendencies) tend to recharge by spending time alone - for example for me thats walking, one on one coffee or wine dates with my girlfriends, watching a movie with my partner, going for a long walk, sitting at the beach ALONE, meditating, journaling. We lose energy from being around people for long periods of time, particularly large crowds.

Extroverts

On the other hand, gain energy from other people. Extroverts actually find their energy is sapped when they spend too much time alone. They recharge by being social.

So tune in to listen to how you can learn AND understand your personality type so you can make smart decisions on how to regulate your emotions - in a way that is healthy FOR YOU (and not feel guilty if going to your friends party isn't the best thing for you do to right now).

If you're an introvert already in or embarking on - stepping into the business world which is all about MARKETING yourself as an extrovert to get your mission and message across,  tune in to hear how I use my "Business jacket" - as well as those of you who may judge others from what you perceive them to be on social media in comparison to a social setting...keep these golden nuggets in the back of your mind not only to be a better friend, but human.

Understanding others and yourself is the key to spreading kindness and compassion, and the world needs more of that. 

Try out our new Happiness Test

Sex, Business and Money

How to have it all

I love mentoring women to live a life of health, wealth and abundance. But one aspect that seems like it is "taboo" is the wealth aspect of it...yes, wealth in experiences and relationships, but also MONEY!

Why is it that when men are the breadwinners, and are proud of being able to support themselves and their loved ones, they talk about money and streams of income and they are just talking "business", but when women do is considered "rude", "arrogant", "cocky", or not "humble" or "grounded'?

The reason I am so passionate about empowering women to talk about about their finances is because 80% of women who are under the poverty line weren't when they were married.

Which means we either rely on men for an income or, we don't know or understand how to manage our finances or investments.

Did you know today, that 1 in 2 marriages end in divorce? And so many women stay in abusive and unhappy marriages/relationships because they are are financially dependent on their partner.

Take our Free Happiness Test

Having children and losing an income to stay at home to look after them and shower them in love is one reason for this, which brings up my question to you beautiful boss mummas out there (or young women like me who are questioning when they will be in the position to be able to do so without fear of finances) ... when you are working for a living, when you stop working... how do you afford to live?

Obviously, you don’t go into a marriage or relationship expecting it to end, or a job expecting to be be laid off, but it happens. So if you're relying on a parter, a job... you're putting your future in someone else hands.

So babes, lets empower each other and make it ok to talk about it... Sex, Business and Money!

Babes in Business take on Vegas!

Babes in Business Hits Vegas

Hey guys I am so sorry I haven't dropped in some love for a while.. I surprised my parents and I took them over to Las Vegas!!

If any of you have Las Vegas on your bucket list there is a squad of us heading back over in December next year.

I have been over there a few years ago purely for the partying scene and had lots of fun, BUT I actually just got back traveling this time with some babes that are passionate about learning about business, wealth, health, personal and professional growth.

We made the focus of the trip more so about personal development, spiritual growth with seminars with world renown speakers, workshops AND LOTS OF FUN!

I made this VLOG to capture it all for you - it was such an amazing week!

We are starting to plan some fun trips for next year orientated around the same values (we already have Perth, Bali and Las Vegas on the calendar).

If you want to (or know someone who might, feel free to share this with them) travel with a tribe of passionate, inspiring, fun women and share the same interests as us, email me so we can keep connected on Facebook and I can invite you guys along!

Girls... lets talk about boys

Hey girls... lets talk about boys

How many of you are on the other side of a beak up or currently trying to make it through one?

I did a live on this earlier this week and would love to know if this video resonates with you on how girls and boys deal with our shit differently.

If you have a gf who needs to hear this feel free to share it with her, sometimes they just need to hear it from someone else

If you would love to read some of my previous blogs on gender psychology and some fun facts on how and why we deal with our shit differently you can have some fun below, I am sure I am not the only one that wonders if we are really from Venus and men are from Mars am I?

How I took control of my weight, skin and happiness AND MAINTAINED IT!

21 Days of Meditation to Raise Awareness for Mental Health

AND IT'S UP! Click below on the link to support us on our challenge in the Healthstyle Emporium this month to be happier and healthier with our 21 days of meditation in to raise awareness for mental health and the services Headspace can provide with our 21daysofHSEbliss.

https://give.everydayhero.com/au/the-healthstyle-emporium

I have been talking to so many women lately who are struggling with self-esteem and self talk because of being unhappy with their skin and weight...I had my own personal story and I know it doesn't seem like a big deal until you suffer it yourself so I wanted to share my tips and tricks (and some facts regarding psychology and research) on how you can finally take control of your weight, skin and happiness - and MAINTAIN it!

I speak about the effects stress has on the body and why it is so important to come from a place of love and not fear, which is why I'm loving our meditation challenge in the Emporium this month.

We would really love your help in leaving a legacy behind and inspiring change around the world by raising awareness and inspiring one person at a time to be the healthiest and happiest version of themselves. If you would love to be involved in something bigger than yourself, please don’t hesitate to message me or share my video above. I would love to hear from you!

Sending you all big love and wishing you a beautiful day!

Don't Complicate It

Time to make things simple

I hope 2017 is treating you well! You may of seen over Christmas, photos of my travels around Mexico, Colombia and Cuba! I have definitely started the new year feeling refreshed and enlightened, it was an awakening becoming so aware of how fast paced and complex our lives are in comparison to the time warped Cuba!

When did we get in such a hurry?

In the western world we make things so complex - but in terms of our health and happiness it really is quite simple; we need to get right back to the basics, we need to stop complicating things.

It's sad but nearly everyone I know and the clients I work with, are overwhelmed, overworked, overfed yet undernourished.

We are bombarded with so many options and so much information, we throw our hands up in the air and give up.

Let me simplify it for you

If you're feeling grumpy, unfulfilled, lethargic, stagnant, in a slump... do at least one, if not all of the following things:

1. Put love back into your food. Eat more Wholefoods! Eat more food that has been touched by the sun as it contains natural energy. Eat to fuel your body not to flaw it.

2. Drink more water.

3. Move your body every day. Include conscious movement into your lifestyle, do things you enjoy, run, walk, swim, dance, kick the footy, ride .

4. Love and invest in your relationships. Put in as often as you takeaway and get rid of the relationships that don't make you feel good.

5. Reflect. Just like Alcohol addiction - ask what role is technology having in your life? Use it as a tool don't let it use you.

6. Practise Gratitude. Be thankful for your running clean water, warm showers, our health care system, a roof over your head. When you come from a place of abundance, you attract abundance.

It's rocket science right? ;)

Have a beautiful, simplified day lovers

Are you inwardly fluent or outwardly influenced?

Understanding how you are Influenced

They say do something everyday that scares you... and oh man did this put butterflies is my stomach but I know that is because this is something I know means a lot to me ... I love my job as a Life Coach, I love helping people whether that is in my one on one coaching or workshops,

I love that look on my clients faces and their tone in their voice when it all just clicks and they find that inner peace, clarity and purpose BUT I also know that too often the people who need my services the most are the ones that can't afford it (and unfortunately at this point in my life I need to make a living ).

This is why I have jumped out of my comfort zone and FINALLY launched my own YouTube channel in the hope I can help people out there that I am not able to currently reach within my four walls.

I know you guys have heard me talk about wanting to launch my own Youtube Channel before and now I HAVE FINALLY DONE IT. So please subscribe and share, I would love your feedback and am so grateful for your continued support . Please feel free to email me ideas of things or topics you may be struggling with and you would like me to talk about in future video's.

This video challenges you on who you are...are you aware of what it is that you stand for? What are your values? What lights you up?

If you don't stand for something, you will fall for everything.  Having that clarity around who you are, what is important to you and the direction you want to go will make you an outwardly influential person, otherwise you will spend a lot of time being influenced, doing things to please others, spending time and energy on things that don't make you a healthier and happier you.

So what is it you need to become clearer on?

There is a Life Above Zero and you deserve to live it, Enjoy!

The secret to happiness and success

The Secret to True Happiness

My partner recently said something to me that stood out… and got the reflective juices flowing, resulting in this blog! I was telling him the exciting news that I had just been offered a position at work, that I really wanted. His response was “Of course you did Lauren, if only once you didn’t get what you wanted.”

I told my Dad the same good news, his response was similar, “Of course you did, you’re Lauren, everything always works out for you.”

At first, I was offended by these remarks from the two men in my life that I seek approval and attention from. What they said sounded to me like I was a spoilt brat, who gets whatever they want handed to them on a silver platter. I know that was not their intention. I know, and they know (and anyone else who witnesses how hard I work, constantly and whole heartedly knows) that is not the case.

But, They are Right…

But yes, they are right, in some way or another, I do always get what I want. There is a process to my thinking surrounding these things:

• I have a hard think about what I truly, deeply want/need, to be a happy and healthy human.

• I question what receiving or gaining that would give me or change in my life.

• I allocate my time and energies accordingly.

That is why I am a Life and Wellness coach; I want to teach others how they can get what they want, how to live the life they want and how to be the person they want to be. If you’re not going to go out and get it, no-one else is going to give it to you.

So, I’ve decided to share with you my personal formula for happiness and success (to me they are the same thing!)

1) Have a Vision

Firstly ask what is success to you? Is it a personal vision, is it a feeling, way of life, a position? Is it wisdom, ownership of materialistic possessions? In one on one life coaching in my practice – I help people become aware of their goals, their passions and purpose, then I coach them to set and achieve goals in accordance to them.

A good way to get the goal or that vision in your head is creating a vision board or write a letter from your future self! It sounds corny but just try it (or feel free to email me if you want help), and from there, work backwards…

2) Acceptance

When I don’t get what I want - I don’t stamp my feet and chuck a tantrum (although I am sure there are occasions growing up my Dad would probably disagree with that). In the real “adult” world, I handle closed doors and disappointments very differently.

This is why people may have the “illusion” that I always get what I want, because I practice acceptance. I say if I had always got what I wanted, I would be one unhappy girl today. I have learnt to be thankful for closed doors, detours and roadblocks, because they protect me from paths and places not meant for me.

Sure, I have thrown a little pity party for myself, but have learned to free myself from them as I gain emotional intelligence and maturity – you need to be able to identify your feelings. Recognise them and give yourself space to allow them. Experience those feelings, otherwise they don’t go away they just get suppressed.

However, I don’t let my pity party turn into a pity bender - I shift my thought patterns, motivation and commitment to an alternate route and keep moving forward, with more enthusiasm! When I get knocked down, I get back up again, trusting the universe has bigger better plans for me (this is where religion may play a role for some).

3) Be Kind

I am kind to everyone I meet. Everyone.

Whether they be in my professional or personal world, I am always kind (this can be challenging sometimes working in Child Protection, nonetheless I do it anyway). When you are kind and help others, most people are kind in return, and are happy to help you on your road to success.

If you need something; help, advice or to be introduced to someone who can help, usually, a person you have been kind to will be more than willing to help out! So don’t have ulterior motives, help others and be kind to every soul you meet, it’s called ‘Karma’ and it will return the favour some day!

4) Be Genuine

When I say I am kind, that does not mean I am fake or sugar coat my words. I don’t beat around the bush or just tell people what they want to hear (this would definitely not work in Child Protection). Sometimes, if I have something I need to say that may offend someone, I will say it anyway (nicely). I can explain my intentions; if I have to say something that might hurt someone’s feelings I explain that I’ve said it in the best interest of that person (and check back in with yourself, reflect and question yourself to ensure it really is!

How will this person benefit from hearing what it is you have to say? Does it really need to be said if it is at the risk of hurting their feelings or beating their self-esteem). I explain to them, I am telling them this because I care for them and want to be transparent with them.

5) Work hard

Identify your end goal, and ask how badly do you want it? What are you willing to sacrifice for it?

It is true, if it was easy we would all have it or all do it.

Sometimes it is easier to whinge and moan, to blame it on bad luck and on others, than it is to take ownership, to take accountability and to step up and make changes.

If you want to lose weight, but aren’t willing to eat a balanced diet or get your body moving – then you obviously don’t want to lose the weight bad enough.

If you want an A in your next exam, but you want to keep watching that TV series instead, it’s obvious that don’t want those grades bad enough.

If you want true committed love, yet aren’t wiling to suck up your pride and have the uncomfortable discussions with your partner to work out your issues, then guess what? You don’t want the relationship bad enough.

Working hard isn’t about instant gratification either, if you want something - work at it - do not give up. It’s about persistence, it’s making sacrifices today for something you might not necessarily see tomorrow or the next day, but trust you will reap the benefits in a month or years time.

This is how University works! I am sure a few of you reading this are just like me and juggled 3-4 part time/casual jobs whilst studying at uni, knowing in 4-5 years time it would all be worth it! Same as going for a run (despite the fact you do get instant release of endorphins) you can not expect to drop weight after one run, it comes back to consistent work.

If the end goal is truly something you madly, deeply want, something your heart is longing for, then the hard/persistent work won’t discourage you, you will go to bed dreaming about it and wake up excited about it! And if you don’t, revisit your goal, ask yourself do you truly want it? This is leads me to…

6) Reflection.

This is a biggie for me. I frequently reflect to ensure the life I am living is in accordance with my values, things I believe are important. This is how I make decisions and weigh up what sacrifices are worth making, or if I am sacrificing too much. A way I keep this in check, is by using my ‘mission statement’.

It is little piece of paper I have written and keep in my diary, I have identified my top 5 values and articulated how the person I aspire to be would ideally incorporate these into their life accordingly (I will share this strategy in my next blog).

By reflecting, I ensure my behavior is aligning with my values, essentially making sure I am walking my talk. I reflect the purity of my intentions and ensure they are not manipulated by society, status, fashion or money – as these are things I have identified in my mission statement are not values of mine that I want to be controlled or dictated by.

7) Forgiveness

In life you must have emotional balance - just like you need a healthy dose of work and play, veggies and sweets, sun and rain. There is happiness and sadness. It is inevitable you are going to get hurt. But, don’t let the world make you hard. Love and live whole-heartedly. Forgive.

Don’t hold onto negative energy hating, bitching or stalking someone’s instagram/Facebook pages. All that does is make you spiteful and heavy.

It takes way more energy to hate than it does to love…so forgive…

It’s like my favourite saying “resentment is like drinking poison hoping it will kill your enemies” Nelson Mandela. Forgiveness however, does not necessarily mean to forget. Make an executive decision, you are your own boss – do I want this person in my life?

If I do… fair enough - acknowledge what they did was wrong, realise they are capable of doing it again, love and accept them anyway by planning for it or not allowing them to be in the position to hurt you again.

Be a lover not a fighter, and know better for next time. If you decided – No, you don’t want that person in your life anymore - then that’s also fair enough, respect yourself to walk away from anything that no longer serves or grows you.

Appreciate that lesson and let it go. Don’t waste energy ruminating over it, forgive them and use that energy to be constructive, move forward and closer to your success and happiness.

So, this is my personal formula. It may not work for everyone, but that’s the whole point of Life Coaching – identifying what is important to you, the individual, and living your life accordingly.

By practicing these 7 things in my life, I am a happier person, people often describe me as “happy - go lucky” and a “go getter”, I am motivated yet, also at peace with where I am. I get to live life light, with no baggage, no regrets nor hatred. I can look at myself in the mirror and be proud of who I am, because I treat everyone the same regardless of what they have to offer me.

Like everything in life - it comes down to balance – be a nice human but don’t expect things to be passed to you because of it – you still have to get up and chase those big dreams yourself…but that’s where the fun begins ;)

If you feel you need a little help please reach out – you can find some of my life coaching programs.

Sending happiness and success your way,

A hug a day DOES keep the Dr Away

A Hug a Day keeps the Dr Away

So if you haven’t already heard or checked out our holistic health program the Healthstyle Emporium, it is our very own sacred space where we empower our clients to be the healthiest and happiest versions of themselves. With access to all of our resources, such as monthly educational webinars, one on one coaching, access to our amazing team of health professionals, it’s a place where you can dive deep on our meal, exercise, yoga, and meditation guides. 

The best part about it is… we have regular challenges! We are currently in our 14 days of bliss challenge, where we are empowering our clients with daily assignments, rituals and routines aimed at eliminating and managing stress - the biggest contributor to unhappiness, disease and belly fat! Day 9’s de-stress activity was HUG THERAPY!

So, what is Hug Therapy?

You might agree, yeah hugs are nice, but what the hell is hug therapy?! Hug, snuggle and cuddle therapy is a new 21st century phenomena sweeping across our high tech world, where people are charging anywhere from $60- $90 per hour for healing, clothed, therapeutic, nonsexual touch.

However the theory of touch is not a new one! Research from as early as the 20th century investigates child development in which nurture (in the form of a soothing touch) plays a critical role.

Security & Relationships

• Research has discovered how essential physical touch is, not only for emotional regulation in children but also in adults and has consequences for the relationships individuals form later in life. One of the very first studies on touch was the infamous Harlow study which demonstrated that baby monkeys prefer a cloth doll without milk as a mother substitute over a metal doll with milk. We have come a long way in conducting ethical research since then, and I think it’s safe to say worldwide we agree that babies need to be held. There is evidence that adults who were frequently hugged and cuddled during early childhood display fewer stress symptoms than those less-hugged counterparts.

• Hugs teach us how to give and receive. There is equal value in receiving and being receptive to warmth, as to giving and sharing. Hugs educate us how love flows both ways.

• The nurturing touch of a hug builds trust and a sense of safety. This helps with open and honest communication.

HUGS PROMOTE Happiness

As adults we can live without hugs, but research proves we are happier with them!

• When we touch others we release oxytocin (known as the “pleasure” hormone) which increases feelings of attachment connection, trust and intimacy and heals feelings of loneliness, isolation, and anger.

• Holding a hug for an extended time lifts one's serotonin levels (known as the “happy” hormone”) which elevates your mood.

• Hugging boosts self-esteem. From the time we’re born, families’ touch reinforces we are loved and we are special. Association between self-worth and touch from our early years becomes imbedded in our nervous system. The cuddles we received from our Mum and Dad while growing up remain imprinted at a cellular level, and hugs remind us at a somatic level of that. Hugs, therefore, connect us to our ability to self-love.

• Hugging relaxes muscles, enabling tension to be released from the body. Hugs can take away pain; soothing aches by increasing circulation into the soft tissues.

• Similar to laughter and meditation, hugs encourage us to practice mindfulness, reminding us to let go and be present in the moment. They teach us to detach from logical thinking patterns - connecting you with your heart, your feelings and your breath.

black-and-white-free-hugs-grunge-hippie-Favim.com-2443097

Better health

• High levels of stress can weaken the immune system, making us more susceptible to illness and infection. However, research has found that physical affection also alleviates stress reactions in adults, by decreasing heart rate, blood pressure and cortisol levels (known as the “stress” hormone).

• Hugs strengthen the immune system, as the gentle pressure on the sternum creates an emotional charge activating the solar Plexus Chakra. This stimulates the thymus gland, which regulates and balances the body's production of white blood cells, keeping you healthy and disease free.

A hug a day, CAN keep the Dr. away!

Today we live in a fast paced, high stress world – where millions of us now live and love via our social mediums, with hundreds + friends on our Facebook, instagram, twitter networks, and yet somehow many of us are able to move through the entire day without having experienced one human-to-human, warm-bodied hug – isn’t that sad?

It’s cold and flu season again — so make sure you get plenty of sleep, get some extra vitamin C and… hug each other a little more! It’s that simple – Reach out and hug your partner, your friend, your co-worker, your family…and your life may not only feel better but last longer!

Running through your wall: A guide to breaking the mental barriers of running

Gold Coast Marathon

With the Gold Coast Marathon coming up in two weeks, I am sure some of you are thinking:

1. “Why would any sane person want to run 21/42km, who would do that to themselves?!” or

2. “I wish I could run like that.”

You already know I am not a Personal Trainer or exercise scientist; rather I am a fellow running enthusiast using my Psychology degree, to enable my clients to alter their mindset, focus on the positives and set goals to allow them to reach their full potential and take advantage of the abundance life has to offer!

I am one of the lucky ones, I inherited long running legs from my Mum, who was an athlete, and fortunately my Poppy is an athletic trainer. So growing up I got all the technical training and drills (and I guess the genetics)… However this blog is me handing down some tips I have learnt on the way - how to defeat that little voice in your head telling you, you can’t do it!

mum

1) Mastering the Mindset

Most long distance runners know defeating that ‘little voice’ is half the battle. Your mind is your most active component when it comes to running; your ego will tap out before your body will. During your run, do you find yourself saying “only 2 more songs” or working out how much you have done in comparison to how much you have to go?

Remind yourself this: As long as you’re breathing, your body will continue to go. That is why it is called aerobic or cardio exercise – your body just needs your heart pumping to deliver oxygen to your working muscles.

Aerobic exercise encourages the heart and breathing rate to increase in a way that can be sustained for the exercise session; your body is designed to do this. So don’t buy into what that little devil in your head is saying, keep running, your body has got this!

2) Just keep breathing

Like I said – cardio is all about the breath and this is where most people struggle. Do you panic hearing yourself get out of breath? It’s for this exact reason I rarely run/train with other people in fear they are not in control of their breath – I can hear when they become flustered and panic, struggling with their inconsistent breaths, which can cause me to struggle to stay in sync with my own breath.

I have taught many of my friends and clients this: slow down your breath.

To be honest, this is my number 1 trick. When you’re in control of your breath, you become in the flow, you are able to run with ease for kilometres without becoming overwhelmed, having to think or count down the KM’s – you can just be. For me, I breathe in through my nose, out through my mouth for long and slow breaths, ensuring my muscles are getting the maximum oxygen they can, to fuel my beautiful, long beach runs.

It may sound simple yet so many struggle with this. A good trick is to take yoga classes! Yoga teaches you to become aware, focus and control your breath, even when holding poses that cause your heart rate to skyrocket, yoga is able to teach you to find ease, stillness and peace in the discomfort.

3) Update Your Inner Dialogue

The truth is  change is unfamiliar, it takes effort and requires us to leave our comfort zone, and understandably people unconsciously only move towards situations that make us feel better.

Consequently, we only make changes when the pain of staying where we are, exceeds the pain of growing.  Unfortunately, even if we don't like where we currently are, what we are doing or who we are with, if moving forward or the fear of the unknown feels worse, often we will remain in our familiar discomfort and neglect our goals and dreams.

So I ask you… do you really want to run? What about it is going to make you feel better?

Explore your narrative, what thoughts do you associate with running?

• Are you telling yourself it will be embarrassing if someone sees you running?

• Are you telling yourself that you will be too exhausted to go for a run after a long day at work?

• Are you telling yourself it’s too cold and raining outside?

• Are you focusing on all the times you’ve said you’re going to train and work up to it and didn’t follow through?

• Are you thinking of all the other things you have to do and that you won’t have the time to run for an hour?

If this sounds like your story – it makes sense that you struggle to take action.

So — let’s write a new chapter...

Small shifts in your thoughts create big shifts in your behavior.

Try shifting to:

• “Running after work is my secret weapon to rebooting my energy and releasing those endorphins”

• “I will feel really f-ing proud of myself if I get up and start kicking my own goals, rather than just talking about it and worrying about what others may think”

• “I have been sitting inside rugged up staring at a computer screen for 8 hours, I can’t wait to get outside amongst nature, warm myself up and feel the fresh air upon my face”

• “I struggled in the past, but this time I’ve got a revived outlook, enthusiasm and motivation for creating the life I want and doing things I say I want to do.”

• “I am so excited to have one hour to myself out of my busy day, one hour to treat myself, focus on my breath, clear my mind and be present”

You get to choose the thoughts that are in your head. Write a fresh story, one that motivates, enthuses and excites you to get moving and make changes.

4) Spice it up! Make it fun!

Mix it up. Download some new songs or make a playlist of all your old school favourites! I love the sunrise over the ocean so that’s my motivation for getting up for my run in the morning. Mix up your routes, go exploring, run to your favourite look out! Even use some healthy competition, download an app where you can monitor your pace and try beat your last run.

5) Create a Community of Support

Humans are social beings who thrive on meaningful connection. Successful treatment or rehabilitation for any mental or physical condition relies on utilizing a support network. So, if you are trying to create a healthy lifestyle, form healthy habits or run those longer distances, get a friend on board! Set goals together, register for an event or a marathon so you have something to train and aim for, join a running group or hire a personal trainer.

Surround yourself with like-minded people who will inspire and motivate you, who will hold you accountable to the changes you say your are going to make, people who will remind you of your "why". Whether it is following inspirational people on your social media, family, friends, an online forum or a life coach, the support you need is out there. Go find it!

6) Be Smart: Create a foolproof environment

If you have decided running is something you want to do/ be better at/is a goal you want to work towards, you need to be smart about planning for success. When we are planning to make changes in our lives, we often over-estimate our ability to practice self-control by not accounting for influences of our environment.

You don't want to eat junk food? Don't have them in your home. You don’t want to drink?

Don’t go to the club. Clean out your environment, and likewise be deliberate in building yourself a supportive environment. This may be something as simple as putting your phone on charge on the other side of the room to ensure you wake up and go for you run first thing in the morning, before you find yourself scrolling down on your insta/facebook feed for an hour.

Or even packing your runners in your bag so after work you don’t have to go home before you go for a run, preventing the opportunity to get comfortable on the couch! I do things like purposely organising or leaving my car places so if I need it, I have to run back there!

Put as much distance as you can between you and your temptations for unwanted behaviour.

It may not always have to be this way, but in the early stages of building change, be smart, honest and kind to yourself. You're not super human, we all have our kryptonite (mine is cookie dough oooops),  so don’t put yourself in situations where you have to be so strong. Give yourself a safety net.

If you want to stop wishing you could run like those fit people on your insta feed and actually run like that or if you want to stick it to that little voice in your head and prove you can do it… try some of these little tricks….AND RUN FOREST, RUN!

Do you need Yoga in your life?

How Yoga can help you in everyday life

So… most of you may of seen over the last few months we have launched a holistic health Program called the Healthstyle Emporium!

It’s an online hub where health professionals have linked arms from all around the globe – yogi’s, qualified psychologists, skin experts, rieki healers, exercise scientists, PT’s, nurses, nutrition/health and life coaches – to be able to deliver a program that educates, empowers you to make sustainable healthy life choices and nourishes your mind, body and soul.

One of the Amazing Health Professionals I have been fortunate enough to work with is Chani Carroso – who is the infamous Nutrition Coach and Founder of Healthy Peach.

 For our beautiful clients in the Healthstyle Emporium, Chani is running a 30 DAY MAY YOGI CHALLENGE – exclusive to all our members, just another goodie that comes with our programs.

Are you someone who has always wanted to try yoga?

Maybe you've started but you're not really vibing like everyone else. Maybe you're on a health quest trying to find the answer, be it fitness or spiritual... and you feel like the answer is in yoga, but you can't really see what all the fuss is about?

30 Day May Yogi Challenge

With the 30 DAY MAY YOGI CHALLENGE which started today, Chani wrote about why you need this beautiful ancient tradition in your life.  Below is Healthy Peach's Featured Blog / be sure to check out our program The Healthstyle Emporium to get a chance to work with her and soak up the knowledge, wisdom, energy and positive vibes our team have to offer!

yoga handstand

What is Yoga? 

Yoga means “to come together”. So what exactly are we bringing together when we breath deeply, twist, bend, stretch and hold funny looking poses?

Historically, the yogi’s (people who practiced yoga) believed that yoga could unite people with the entire universe, and bring an understanding to us, that all living beings are one, be it humans, tree’s, microscopic bacteria or your pet pooch.

Today, the modern yogi philosophy preaches a life of comfort, kindness, happiness, feeling great and feeling more alive. Yoga to me in a modern context, means bringing all corners of our life together into a delicious holistic harmonious circle of life… and finding balance within that circle. Love, career, finances, spirituality, creativity, joy, home life, relationships, physical activity, home cooking, health & power. More on that later!

Its super simple to practice yoga. You may think yoga isn't for you because you might feel as though you're not flexible, fit or strong. Maybe your mind wanders. But this is the funny part - yoga has nothing to do with all of that.

The number one rule and focus of yoga is…wait for it… breath. Yup! If you can breath - which I'm guessing if your eyes are peeled to this blog right in this moment, you are alive and you CAN BREATH. So guess what, you can practice yoga & be really really good at it!

Yes, at times you must balance like a tree or arrange your body into a cobra, the physical component of yoga comes with practice and strong will. After continuous love and devotion to your practice, I promise you, you will lose weight, strengthen your muscles, increase flexibility and circulation, increase healing, boost your immunity and calm your nervous system all at the same time.

What will yoga do for your mind and soul?

Oh, where do I begin. You become less reactive in stressful situations, like during a confrontation or when every single light on the way to work is red but you were meant to be there 10 minutes ago.

You’re able to care less about others opinions and criticism. You judge yourself less. You’re able to stick up for yourself in ways you didn't think were possible and you’re able to stand your ground. When you’re walking or driving through your every day life, you notice how beautiful that little butterfly floating in the wind is or how amazing the tree’s look with the sun glistening on their green deliciously thick foliage.

You feel spontaneous moments of gratitude for the little things in life like having 10 fingers and toes and having a roof over your head… however they may look like or whatever type of roof that may be. You smile in the most mundane moments, because you see the message. You are more present in life, living in the now rather than in the what was or what could be. You feel more compassion for others and you let go of situations with much more ease.

In time, your yoga practice will evolve into a lifestyle of peace and gratitude, you’ll stand up a little taller, breath a little deeper, be a little more honest with yourself (and others), your intentions will be a little more grounded and your mindset will be a little more beautiful. The perfect antidote for the modern day stressors.

So why does this all happen…

How does a physical exercise completely transform your body, mind & soul?

Its all starts when you realise you can quiet your mind THROUGH your body, and through YOUR BREATH. When your toes hit the mat - the magic begins. And the most beautiful part of it all, the benefits and magic follow you off the matt and weave themselves into your life.

According to the ancient philosophy of yoga, EVERY human is compassionate, loving and peaceful. Yoga just helps us first find that goodness within ourselves, and in others too… No matter who they are. Yoga helps you cut that umbilical cord to the anger, resentment, judgement and doubt we have within ourselves and towards others. And the more you practice yoga, the more clearly you will see how imperfectly perfect you are, as well as everyone else.

No matter what your skill level is, or what your goals are - whether your goals are spiritual, physical, or you’re just curious to see what all the fuss is about about one of the world's oldest traditions… The wise yogi knows it's not the destination that should be in sight, but the process & the journey itself. Perhaps, it's not what you’re longing for that will bring you complete happiness, maybe it's right now - this very little moment - that is the actual reward.

So I invite you, join us in The Emporium for the month of May - and delve deep into our juicy 30 day yogi challenge [details below].

Namaste x

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WHO'S JOINING US IN THE 30 DAY CHALLENGE?

To celebrate the release of The Healthy Peach Yoga + Stretch guide this month, we will be holding a 30 day yogi challenge exclusively within our gorgeous online hub, The Healthstyle Emporium.

FOR ALL FITNESS LEVELS.

What's involved? 

• Every day for 30 days we will focus on one asana (pose),

• A variety of sitting poses, standing poses, balancing poses, forward / back bend poses & 2 advanced poses for the courageous yogi's.

• You will learn the benefits of each asana,

• Step by step instructions on how to complete each asana,

• Tips for beginner, Intermediate and advanced yogi for each asana,

• How and when to move, lengthen & strengthen in each asana,

• How to breath through each asana (prana & apana)

• Which chakra/chakras are being energized,

• Daily intention and mantra for you to have a delicious day ahead.

Each day, the asana of the day will be posted with all the information in The Emporium.

How to get involved?

You must post a picture of your asana in the thread of each daily post. Prizes for the most involved and creative photo taking yogi babe will be given at the end (including active wear by Muscle Republic, a Doterra ice blue rub for those achy muscles and joints + yummo juice plus shakes).

Starts today, the first Monday of May. 

Wishing you health & happiness.

There is no such thing as an un-resourceful person, only an un-resourceful mind.

Working in Child Protection

I definitely have struggles with my world view, my expectations of myself and others, and my understanding of humanity. Each day (as most people do) I learn from experience and self-reflection. There are big discrepancies between what I know, what I have personally experienced and what I see and hear.

A lot of people have the perception to be a Life Coach you have to have gone through something pretty traumatic to be able to motivate others on how to overcome triumph and achieve success.

Sorry no sob story here.

I am not going to lie to you. That’s one of my strengths as a Life Coach and as a Child Safety Officer – I am transparent. I come from a pretty normal upbringing – however I can vouch that all my successes I have achieved on my own, nothing was handed to me, I do know the value of hard work and independence…well at least that is what I used to say to myself.

I have done a lot, seen a lot and know a lot for my age. I used to take pride in the fact I did it on my own. However since working in Child Protection I have come to realise something different.

My Story.

My Mum and Dad never gave me a cent. I got a job at 13 (with a letter of consent from my parents that I could work under the legal age of 14 and 9 months). I bought my first car by myself, studied hard and sat my HSC.

I was the first person in my family to be accepted into university let alone even apply. I gained a scholarship for university. I moved 14 hours away from everyone and everything I had ever known at 18. I worked 4 jobs. I wasn’t eligible for centrelink so I paid my own bills.

I studied hard, gaining myself another scholarship, which enabled me to study overseas and travel. I finished my degree and got into Honours, which lead me to a Graduate position working in QLD Government Child Protection.

What I have learnt from working in child protection.

As I tried to shorten my life story earlier in attempt to explain, I am not a stranger to hard work. But working with families in Child Protection – I have come to realise I didn’t do it by myself. Yes, I looked those scary dreams in the eye and went in for battle, however I was never alone.

I have always had the support of a loving mum, dad and two younger brothers. A nuclear family in itself is a gift – so many today come from broken families and homes. From a young age I was encouraged I could be who ever I wanted to be, I could go wherever I wanted to go, I could achieve whatever I could dream (to their dismay I don’t think they anticipated I would have been chasing those dreams so fast).

In this world there are a lot of things that are out of our control, but our actions aren’t one of them.

Don’t get me wrong, my childhood wasn’t sheltered, but I definitely survived unscathed. Like all kids I battled the schoolyard daemons, having buckteeth in primary school didn’t make it easy to avoid the bullies.

But I think it’s from those experiences I learnt young that people’s actions and words weren’t a reflection of who I was. It didn’t make a difference how pure my intentions were or how nice I was – they were going to act like that regardless. I had no control over it – it was a reflection of their reality – all I could do was have control over my actions. This is a lesson I still try to teach in my practice today;

““People are often unreasonable and self-centered. Forgive them anyway. If you are kind, people may accuse you of ulterior motives. Be kind anyway. If you are honest, people may cheat you. Be honest anyway. If you find happiness, people may be jealous. Be happy anyway. The good you do today may be forgotten tomorrow. Do good anyway. Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough. Give your best anyway.””

— Mother Teresa

Despite being fearful of catching the school bus with these bullies – I chose to put my head down at school and after 3pm I would invest myself in a different area and a different group of friends.

This lead me to true friendships and what became my outlet for years – dancing. From here I kept building on my perspective of the world, becoming more accepting, positive and at peace with my place in it.

I had the self-confidence instilled from family. I had a sense of autonomy and mastery having had been given the space and opportunities by my parents to grow and test myself – I knew my self-worth because I had never been treated badly by a loved one (let me note I wasn’t dating yet, those heartbreaks were yet to come!).

You are not your past.

I am not saying, that you need to come from a loving childhood to achieve success. I am not saying for your future to be bright you can’t have scars from the past and I definitely do not believe your past defines you, otherwise I would not be working in the area I am.

I am saying – understanding the effect of having a loving child hood or having support or the lack of, from family can assist in comprehending why some are having trouble achieving the same goals as others later in life, or living to different social standards or holding different values.

For one a goal may be to expand on their investment portfolio, to another it might just be to be able to look in the mirror and not hate the person they see, it might be to last a whole week sober, to be able to understand why they self- sabotage every relationship they enter, or to understand why their parents struggle to show them love.

Behaviours are reflections of beliefs.

A lot of people’s pasts and upbringings affect the thoughts, beliefs and values they have. The unhelpful ones in particular – self-limiting beliefs - are the ones that cause the most disruptive behaviours and resistance.

But the good news is, that’s all they are; beliefs. They are not your reality. They can be challenged and changed. For outsiders, you need to understand behaviours are reflections of people’s beliefs.

If someone is not respecting their bodies, their health or is allowing others to treat them badly –they need someone to remind them of their self-worth, encourage them to believe in themselves.

People are not their behaviours.

Accept people. Assist them in changing their beliefs in order to change their behaviour. I get asked a lot how I work in child protection and that is my secret; I whole-heartedly accept every one of my clients. I don’t judge them, I hear their story.

I get told I am naïve. Even in the area of work I am in, I see the best in people. I strongly believe that there is no such thing as an un-resourceful person, just an un-resourceful mind. People do the best they can, with the knowledge and resources they have available at that given time.

You can’t expect a bird, who has been caged for it’s whole life – to one day when the gate is left open to fly free and survive. But I assure you, slowly with support and encouragement it might.

We all need a little support and a little understanding.

Its OK to not be OK - Pain is Normal

““My friends on the mainland think just because I live in Hawaii, I live in paradise, like a permanent vacation. We’re all just out here, sipping Mai Tais, shaking our hips, catching waves. Are they insane? Do they think we are immune to life? How can they possibly think our families are less screwed up, our cancers less fatal, our heartache less painful?”

”

— The Descendants

I love to read widely to strengthen my practice and keep it up to date with the latest research. I am a firm believer in walking my talk, I encourage my clients to always be learning and growing - so consequently here are some of my teachings based on Russ Harris's book 'The Happiness Trap'. If you would like to read more and gain a better understanding behind the psychological practice behind this theory I encourage you to have a read yourself.

SSHH… I WILL TELL YOU A SECRET.

What if I was to tell you, that almost everything you believed about finding happiness turned out to be inaccurate, misleading or false?

There is a growing body of scientific research that suggests we are all caught in a powerful psychological trap, a vicious cycle in which the more we try to find happiness the more we suffer.

Friends posting on instagram what their partner did for them, magazines feeding us what we have to look like to be desirable, TV advertisements manipulating us to believe we need to own materialistic objects to be happy, government policies forcing us to conform to a lifestyle and belief that we need to ‘work’ 5 days a week – 260 days a year to deserve a couple of weeks break, society selling us the concept of having a career, your own home and settling down with kids of your own is the epitome of happiness…why is it then we have an increasing amount of middle aged – middle class women suffering from depression and anxiety?

They have followed the recipe book for a fulfilled and happy life to the T – then found themselves full of despair and confusion when they don’t feel as ecstatic as they were told they would be – did I pour in ¾ cup too much of having fun?

BUT… I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAPPY

In the Western world we now have a higher standard of living than humans have ever known before.

We have better medical treatment, better housing conditions, better sanitation, more money, more welfare services, and more access to education, justice, travel, entertainment, and career opportunities. Today’s middle class live better than the royalty did not so long ago. And yet humans today don’t seem very happy.

OH YEAH, SAYS WHO?

Research says. The statistics speak for themselves;

In any given year almost 30% of the adult population will suffer from a recognised psychological disorder.

The World Health Organization estimates that depression is currently the fourth biggest, costliest, and most debilitating disease in the world and by the year 2020, it will be the second biggest. In any given week, one tenth of the adult population is suffering from clinical depression, and one in five will suffer from it at some point in their life-time.

But even more startling is the fact that almost one in two people will go through a stage in life when they seriously consider suicide and will struggle with it for a period of two weeks or more. Scarier still, one in ten people will at some point actually attempt to kill themselves….

I’ll give you a moment for those numbers to resonate with you…

Think of your friends, your family, your co-workers, the random masses of people walking around your local shopping center…almost half of them will at some point be so overwhelmed by misery that they seriously contemplate suicide. One in ten will actually go on to attempt it.

It becomes obvious, lasting, ever flowing happiness is not normal!

BUT WHY CAN’T I ALWAYS BE HAPPY?

Let me take you on a brief psychology lesson exploring evolutionary theory.

Today, our modern human minds have evolved with amazing abilities to analyse, plan, create and communicate. This evolutionary process has taken a long time – not like the agonizing week long wait for the next episode of orange is the new black to come out- more like a hundred thousand years (no exaggeration).

First on the planet – were these bad ass homo sapiens. They were equipped with minds to help them survive in a world full of danger. They weren’t lazing around telling jokes with ‘bae’ or counting how many likes their last insta post got. They were only concerned with meeting their four essential needs to survive and reproduce; food, water, shelter and sex.

However none of these things mattered if you were dead. So the number one priority: look out for anything that might harm you – and avoid it. The smarter mind was able to avoid more bullies, which meant they were able to live longer, which meant they had more time to have jiggy jiggy and make babies.

SO…AS THE STORY GOES…

So with each generation the mind became increasingly more effective in predicting and avoiding danger.

And now, after one hundred thousand years of evolution, the modern mind is constantly on the lookout; is it dangerous? Harmful or helpful?

However these days we aren’t on the look out for saber-toothed tigers, instead its loosing our job, being rejected, getting a speeding ticket, getting cancer, embarrassing ourselves in public or a million other things. As a result we spend a lot of our time worrying about things that more often than not, never happen.

Another essential for the survival of any early human is to belong to a group. If your crew or squad booted you out, it wouldn’t be long until the wolves found you. So how does the mind protect you from rejection of the group?

By comparing yourself with others, both friends and foes to assess is your membership at threat; Am I fitting in? Am I doing the right thing? Am I as good as the others?

SOUND FAMILIAR?

Our modern-day minds are continuously warning us of rejection and comparing us to the rest of society.

No wonder we spend so much energy worrying if other people will like us. No wonder we are always looking at ways to improve ourselves or putting ourselves down because we don’t ‘measure up’.

A hundred thousand years ago we only had a few members of our immediate tribe to compare ourselves to. But today, we only need to glance at a newspaper, a magazine, swipe down on our Facebook or instagram newsfeeds to instantly find a whole host of people who are skinnier, richer, sexier, more powerful, more famous or more successful than we are.

When we compare ourselves up against these glamorous media creations, we feel inferior or disappointed with our lives. To make matters worse, our minds are now so sophisticated they can conjure up a fantasy image of the person we would ideally like to be – and then we compare ourselves to that! What chance have we got? We will always end up feeling not good enough.

GET MORE. GET BETTER.

Now for any Stone Age Person with ambition, the general rule for success is; get more and get better.

The better the weapons, the more food you can kill. The larger your foods stores, the greater your chances for survival in times of scarcity. The better your shelter, the safer you are from wild weather and animals, the more children you have, the greater chance that some will survive into adulthood.

No surprise, our evolved mind also carried this strategy forward, we today are still lead to believe “more and better”, more money, a better job, more status, a better body, more love, a better partner.

And if we succeed, if we do get more money, or a better car, or a bigger house or buy a bigger set of tits, then we are satisfied – for a while. But sooner or later (and usually sooner), we end up wanting more.

Thus evolution has shaped our brains so that we are hardwired to suffer psychologically: to compare, evaluate, criticize ourselves and others, to focus on what we are lacking, to rapidly become dissatisfied with what we have, and to imagine all sorts of frightening scenarios, most of which will never happen. No wonder we find it hard to always be happy.

WHAT IS HAPPINESS?

We all want it. We all crave it. We all strive for it. Even the Dalai Lama has said “The very purpose of life is to seek happiness.”

But what exactly is it? The word happiness has two different meanings. The common meaning of the word is “feeling good”. In other words, feeling a sense of pleasure, gladness or gratification – a state. We all enjoy these feelings, so it’s no surprise that we chase them.

However, like any human emotion, feelings of happiness don’t last. No matter how hard we try to hold onto them, they slip away every time. And a life spent in pursuit of happiness is, in the long term deeply unsatisfying. In fact, the harder we chase after pleasurable feelings, the more we are likely to suffer from anxiety and depression.

The other far less common meaning of happiness is “living a rich, full and meaningful life”. When we take action on the things that truly matter deep in our hearts, move in directions that we consider valuable and worthy, clarify what we stand for in life and act accordingly, then our lives become rich, full and meaningful, and we experience a powerful sense of vitality.

This is not some fleeting feeling – it is a mindset that appreciates and understands a life well lived. And although such a life will undoubtedly give us many pleasurable feelings, it will also give us uncomfortable ones, such as fear, sadness, and anger. This is only to be expected. If we live a full life, we will feel the full range of human emotions…happiness being among them.

I STILL DON’T GET IT…IS IT POSSIBLE TO BE HAPPY?

Of course we all enjoy feeling good, and we should certainly make the most of the pleasant feelings when they appear. But if we try to have them all the time, we are doomed to fail.

The reality is, life involves pain. There is no getting away from it. As human beings we are all faced with the fact that sooner or later we will grow frail, get sick and die. Sooner or later we all will loose valued relationships through rejection, separation or death. Sooner or later we will all come to face with crises, disappointment and failure. This means that in one form or another, we are all going to experience painful thoughts and feelings.

SO YOU MEAN TO BE TRULY HAPPY I DON’T HAVE TO BE HAPPY?

More or less, yes. By truly understanding that the grass isn’t greener on the other side.

The good news is that although we cant avoid such pain we can learn to handle it much better – to make room for it, reduce its impact, and create a life worth living despite it.

The sad thing is for so long society has told us something different. From a young age we are taught we should be able to control our feelings. When you were young I am sure you heard a number of expressions like “don’t cry”, “stop feeling sorry for yourself”, “there’s nothing to be afraid of”, “stop being a sook”…

With phrases such as these, the adults around us are sending the message again and again that we ought to be able to control our feelings.

But what was going on behind their closed doors?

They may have been drinking too much, having an affair, throwing themselves into work, suffering in silence whilst slowly developing stomach ulcers. Whatever method they used to cope, I bet they probably didn’t share those experiences with you.

THIS IS SOMETHING YOU MAY NOT OF HEARD OF BEFORE….ITS CALLED SADNESS AND YES, IT IS NORMAL.

On those rare occasions when you did get to witness their loss of control, I am betting they never explained to you “okay, these tears are because I am feeling something called sadness. It’s a normal feeling, and you can learn to handle it effectively”. But then, that’s not too surprising, they couldn’t show you how to handle your emotions because they didn’t know how to handle theirs.

The idea that you should be able to control your feelings was undoubtedly reinforced in your school years. Do you recall kids who cried at school being teased for being “crybabies”, or “sissies” – especially if they were boys?

Then, as you grew older, you probably heard phrases (or even used them yourself) such as “get over it”, “snap out of it”, “shit happens”, “move on”, “chill out” and so on. These phrases imply that you should be able to turn your feelings on and off at will, like flicking a switch.

BUT EVERYONE ELSE LOOKS HAPPY

And why is this myth so compelling? Because people around us seem, on the surface, to be happy.

They seem to be in control of their thoughts and feelings, they always post happy photos on their instagram and facebook. But seem is the key word here. The fact is most people are not open or honest about the struggle they go through with their own thoughts and feelings.

Too many people are feeling guilty for not being happy. The secret to happiness is not always being happy, but understanding the concept of happiness by practicing mindfulness – allowing your perspective to be challenged.

Everyone’s pain deserves to be validated – we all have permission to be upset.

It is OK to not be OK. We are all human, it is part of our evolved design… and it is not weak to speak about it, as I highlighted the statistics earlier – you are definitely not alone and there are services that can help if sadness is hanging around for prolonged periods.

The organisation LIVIN is a great place to start – gaining momentum in breaking down mental health stigma’s around the globe. You can click on their website if you would also like some referrals to further support services.

LIFE IS ONLY AS GOOD AS YOUR MINDSET.

1. Don’t be manipulated by status, fashion or money. Don’t allow society to dictate to you what should make you happy.

2. Practice self-awareness and mindfulness. Are you aware of what makes you happy? Be motivated by your values, live your life in accordance to what is important to you.

3. Acknowledge when you’re not feeling OK. Accept it. Allow it. Try to change the way you think about it. Did you learn something? Did you grow? Did it make you happy at the time? Did it allow you the opportunity to reassess your values? Did it give you the opportunity to have a good old-fashioned cry, devour a tub of cookie dough ice-cream and let it all out?

It is OK, to not be OK.