How to surround yourself with good people.

I'm here to have a heart to heart with you 🙈 It sounds super simple and even a bit cliche –I promise it's not though!

I want to talk about women, friendships and female empowerment 👸

It's something I think a lot of us want, but I meet plenty of women that don't experience it in their everyday life. I haven't always been surrounded by women that believe in me like I am today either. 

I've been writing about this a lot over the last little while, and I think there are definitely other women out there that are feeling similar things or maybe just need a reminder.

So, I want you to know that what you're about to read is raw and coming straight from my heart ❤️ It might be the gentle hug you need, or maybe you just missed the memo, and everything I'm about to say is news to you. 

Credit: Lauren Kerr with the bridal party

What Type of Personalities Do You Enjoy

Like many people, I did a big cull of my friendship group after high school 🙅‍♀️ I looked at the people around me and started considering the type of personalities that I wanted to be surrounded by. I asked myself which people made me feel good about myself? Which people's company did I enjoy? 

Loosing Girl Friends from School

I was surrounded by a lovely group of girls throughout high school, but I came to realisation that they weren't the sort of people I wanted to be around. There was a lot of gossip and they spent most of their time talking about other people; rather than discussing their dreams, hopes and ambitions 😕 I always felt like I was on the outer because I had to know something or be something – it just felt so cliquey 🙅‍♀️

High School to University

I came to this realisation between the ages of 18 and 20 when I transitioned from high school to uni. I used this realisation as a motivator to purposefully create a really small circle of friends. I wanted this to be a group of women and men that genuinely loved me, supported me, believed in me and spent their time talking about interesting things – not other people! 🙌

University to Now

Given I did this ten years ago now, it seriously feels like a no brainer for me 🤷‍♀‍ I mean it when I say I don't have anyone in my circle that spends their time talking about other people. Obviously, other people come up in conversation, but it's never in a negative or judge mental way 🙏

✨ CHOOSING MY FRIENDS HELPED ME CHOOSE MY LIFE ✨

When I made this shift, my lifestyle changed too 😌 I stopped hanging out with acquaintances, I stopped saying yes to events just because "everyone else is going", and I stopped making time for people that didn't fill up my cup, meet me half way or deposited into our friendship as much as they took away 👋

Once I had a really small group of friends, it also improved my romantic relationship at the time (who is now my husband 🙈). Having a super supportive and like-minded group meant I stopped expecting my now-husband to be everything.

He no longer needed to be my sole source of fun, my complete emotional support and the person that had to deal with all of the shit that came out of my mouth too 😂 Of course, I could get those things from him – but I don't think it's fair to expect everything to come from him, so this change really took the pressure off our relationship. 

After mentoring and working with women for years now, I've found that when it comes to women empowerment and women supporting women, we are actually our biggest enemies.

So often when ladies put themselves out there, chase their dreams or try something out of the box, they're worried about other women tearing them down...

It's not so much men that have anything negative to say because they've got better shit to do with their time! 🤷‍♀️ Often it's the high school friendship circle, the girls at work or the girls on social media, and it just blows my mind! 🤯

Credit: Lauren Kerr with friends having a beach side lunch

My Ideal Peer Group

I have been in this happy little bubble for ten years now. Life is way too short to waste my time with people that don't deserve my energy, and I couldn't be happier with the way it's been

🥰 But very recently, I heard some nasty stuff being said. It's been 10 years since high school, and some girls still just have nothing better to do or talk about 😢

If I'd heard what I heard back then, it would have totally shaken my confidence – which I'm sure it would totally do for many of you too 😳 It makes you doubt yourself, second guess your dreams or question whether you should really go after what you want.

Ten years ago, that would have been me too… 

But hearing that today, it only reassured me that I did the right thing cutting these people out of my life. By consciously protecting my time, energy and space for ten years, I know that not all women are like that.

There are ladies out there that are so abundant in their energy and perspective that don't waste time talking about people unless its to help raise them up…

Credit: Lauren Kerr with friends

Assessing Your Situation

Maybe you're navigating your own friendship problems right now; you don't feel surrounded by supportive people or find your friends cliquey in social circles.

I'm here to reassure you that not all women are like that - and it's okay not to accept it 🙌

Women Supporting Women

I also want to talk about how we can support each other as women. But as women, we need to show each other what "supporting women" looks like. I get that we don't always have to like everyone (we're human!), but there's no reason to sit around bitching about them 🤔 You don't need to engage in conversations like that!

• Don't join in on the slamming and instead show other people the power of kindness. 

• When everyone is sitting around berating someone, you can jump in and share what you love about that person ✨

• You could recognise them for stepping out of their comfort zone and trying something new or for not being afraid to embrace who they are 🤩

• As the positive energy that adds valuable contributions to the conversation, you'll show women that it's possible to support each other 👭

You won't just encourage other women to do the same, but I promise you'll start feeling better too. If you stop gossiping and spending time talking about other people, you'll actually have more time and energy to focus on your own life 🧚‍♀️

When you have your eyes on the positives and the strengths you see in other people, it makes you feel good – and when you feel good, you do good ✨

Credit: Roald Dahl

Focus on Being Positive

I truly believe that this is when life becomes magnetic. The frequency you put out in the world influences the things that come your way, so when you're radiating goodness, it'll come back your way in return 💖 

From a health perspective, you store that negative energy talking about others within your body and you can make your body more susceptible to autoimmune diseases too. There's plenty of research around the true extent of this, so there is really no need to waste your time with those people. 

So, women. If you're feeling like you don't have support around you – I encourage you to cull your circle 🙋‍♀️

It can be scary, but it's so worth it. Don't have people in your life just for the sake of having people in your life. There is no need to accept attitudes and behaviours that bring you down. 

Start cheering other women on, and if you don't have anything nice to say, just don't say anything at all…

Think of it as an energetic bubble to help you navigate the world. Every time you meet someone, let them earn their spot in your bubble 🙏

Don't give them access to your inner circle until they prove they will fill up your life in all the right ways.

• Are they investing as much energy as you are into the friendship?

• Do they make you feel good and care for your best interests?

• Are they a nice energy to be around or do they bring negativity with their gossiping? 🤔

Credit: Author Unknown

Create a Network for Support

I can hand on my heart say that we've created this environment in The Healthstyle Emporium and Babes in Business.

We spend our time talking about our goals, helping each other and celebrating our success. It's so inspiring to see more than 10,000 women out there supporting each other! 🥰

It starts with you. Show women what supporting women looks like, and your life will completely transform. I promise 💖

My Results and Reflections from the 75 Hard Challenge

If you’ve been following me on Instagram, you’ll know I just finished the 75-Hard Challenge 🙈 I had plenty of you cheering me on and I am so grateful for your support, so firstly a BIG thankyou for your messages on encouragement along the way 🥰

I was actually inspired to do the 75-Hard Challenge because a couple of my girlfriends had done it. If you haven’t heard of it, you can click here to read my last blog about it! It’s more of a mental toughness challenge than a health challenge.

For 75 days you have to:

✨ Do two 45-minute workouts a day, including one outdoors

✨ drink a gallon of water a day, which is about 4 litres 

✨ Read a personal development book 

✨ Take a progress photo 

✨ Stick to a diet – My partner and I chose vegetarian 

✨ No alcohol

If you miss a day or messed up on a day, you had to go back to day one!

After watching some of my girlfriends do it, I thought – you know, I’m pretty healthy! 🙋‍♀️ I’ve come a long way with my health over the past few years and we live a pretty healthy lifestyle, but I wanted to do it to test my discipline. I eat pretty healthily during the week, but on weekends I love a cheeky cocktail or a doughnut 🙊  

Credit: Lauren Kerr Babes in Business enjoying a beverage 75day hard challenge

Our Focus

My husband and I are both in a chapter of our lives right now we’re really focusing on business, and we can’t travel so we we’re looking for a new way to tap into our full potential and test our limits. 

Before I started, the thing I was most worried about was the alcohol 😅 I don’t drink a lot (I used to in my early 20s!!) but I’ve gotten a point in my life where I will enjoy a cocktail or two when I’m out on the weekend 🍹 I drink pretty consistently but I don’t drink a lot I don’t think I’ve done more than a few weeks without alcohol since I was a teenager, so I was pretty impressed with myself to last 75 days. 

I shared my experience along the way on Instagram and had a lot of you reach out to ask how the experience was for me. So here is some of the answers to your questions, some tips and my results!

After completing my 75 days, I’ve drunk 75 gallons of water, completed 150 workouts (many in the rain! 🌧), I read 8 books and had no alcohol or junk food (I will confess, I did have lollies one day 🙈 BUT ☝🏼 they were vegetarian and had no gelatine in them so I decided that wasn’t technically cheating 😅). 

Although I did the challenge as a mental test, I did notice some physical changes… 

Credit: Lauren Kerr 75hard challenge before/after

Credit: Lauren Kerr 75hard challenge before/after

75 Day Hard Challenge Results Before and After

Before I started, I did a body scan at the gym and then retested halfway and again at the end.

This was never about weight for me, I actually wanted to put on some weight, tone up and gain muscle 💪 I ended up putting on a half a kilo, and I gained centimetres around my arms, legs and butt, which I was super happy about 🤩 I lost some centimetres around my waist and I did go down in body fat too 👊

If I tried to do the 75hard challenge 5 years ago, I have no doubt I would have failed. Many of you didn’t see or know me back then, so I don’t want you to compare your chapter one with my chapter 21. I have come such a long way thanks to all the education and support from the Healthstyle Emporium, and health is a lifestyle for me now.

I move my body because it makes me feel strong, energetic, positive, clear and reduces my anxiety 😇 I don’t look at calories, I eat nourishing and wholesome foods because it nourishes and fuels my body with energy AND tastes yummy 💥 But if I want to have a doughnut, I’ll have a doughnut 🍩 If I want to have a cocktail, I’ll have a cocktail 🍸 I LOVE to read.

It’s something I seriously just enjoy doing these days! So all in all most of the 75 hard was what I was already doing… I just would be excessive and disciplined about it every day… instead intuitive and honouring how my body feels.

BUT that was the point…

This challenge was about showing up and being disciplined everyday! Not just the days you felt like it or had the time to do two work outs…or when the sun was shining 🌞. Trust me - there were many days where I didn’t ‘feel like’ running or walking in the rain and wind.

Especially when Gold Coast had an weather event with torrential rain and floods for a whole week 🤦🏼‍♀️ I still tried to honour my body though, especially as a women through my cycle if I needed to be a little more gentle on my body I would choose to walk instead of run, yoga instead of the gym and I even picked up dancing again to mix things up 🙌

Credit: Lauren Kerr - 75 Days Hard Challenge

The Biggest Challenge…

The biggest challenge for me five years ago would probably have been the food. I had a really bad relationship with food and looked at all foods as either good ✅ or bad ❌.

Even trying to eat plant based or vegetarian diets would have left me confused on what I could actually eat! It wasn’t until I joined the Healthstyle Emporium that I realised eating healthy didn’t mean I had to cut out all my favourite foods. I’ve learnt there are healthy alternatives for everything, and it’s okay to eat the foods we love in moderation ☺️

While I enjoy a drink or two on the weekends now, I used to binge drink pretty much every weekend five years ago 😳 I used alcohol as a way to manage emotions. When I felt shit, had a bad day at work or just wanted to lose myself, I would reach for alcohol or a weekend out with the girls to just get drunk and let of some steam 💃  rather than learning healthier ways to manage stress like I do now - exercise, journalling, meditation, deep breathing, understanding and honouring my cycle and hormones.

It’s so important not to play the comparison game… 

The 75 Day Challenge is Too Hard

To all the girls out there thinking the 75 Hard Challenge is too intense or difficult, this is your reminder that everyone is at a different stage of their health journey. While I would have struggled with the challenge at 23, the 2.5 months honestly wasn’t difficult for me at 28 💁‍♀️ It was inconvenient and there were days where I really didn’t feel like sticking to it, but I still made it through pretty easily. 

Mix It Up Then…

If you’re someone that still has a while to go on your health and wellness journey, I probably wouldn’t recommend throwing yourself into the deep end with this challenge ✋ Instead, try moving your body because it feels good – not because you’re punishing it for a big meal, one too many drinks or because it’s been a while since your last workout 👊

Skip The Diet… Try Education…

Skip the diet and educate yourself about nutrition, so you learn to enjoy and eat nourishing foods because you want to fuel your body with the energy you need to get through the day! 🙏 The funny thing is too - once you start to eat better and cut out processed foods and refined sugar - your taste pallet changes and it starts to crave more of the good stuff making is not only easier to eat better but you actually prefer the taste of wholesome plant based meals and treats 🍫🤤

Make Time for You!

My highest value is freedom, so the biggest thing for me is during this time was the mental game of knowing I was restricting myself! I believe everything is okay in moderation! We’re not going to look back on our deathbed and be grateful that we never ate a doughnut!

But when we feel good, we do good 🥰 Some of the best days of our lives are in front of us, and if we don’t have our health, we’re not putting ourselves in the best position to enjoy them ✨

Reflecting

I realised just how far I’ve come in the past few years when I realised that many of the things in this challenge were already part of my life.

The day after finishing, I still went for a 10km run, read a whole book and drunk my 4L of water 💦 The one thing that will be changing now that I’ve finished is that I will be treating myself to a cocktail when I feel like it 🙈 Why? Because I enjoy it! And that’s a good enough reason if you ask me 🤷‍♀️

I think that’s a really important point for us to consider though.

1. Why do you drink alcohol?

2. Is it because you feel like you need it to be fun and social?

3. Do you do it be outgoing?

4. Do you do it to manage your feelings and emotions?

The same thing applies to sugar! 🍬 I used to reach for sugar to treat myself after ‘being good’, or when I was feeling down or at the end of a long and stressful day. Cutting these things out of your life gives you the opportunity to reflect on the relationship you have with them 💁‍♀️

Why are you doing the challenge? 

If you decide to do the 75 Hard Challenge, I encourage you to consider if you’re doing it for the right reasons before you start ✋

1. Are you doing it to starve yourself?

2. Are you doing it to punish yourself?

3. Are you doing it to lose weight?

I would say that these may be the wrong reasons to do a challenge like this!

I think it’s far more beneficial to do the 75 Hard Challenge to test things like discipline and unlock your full potential. 

Read More: My Goal for 2021 and Why 75Hard Challenge

Key Reflection Points

There are a few things I reflected on at the end of my time in the challenge that I would love to share with you ✨

1. I think we’re all capable of doing anything we set our minds to 💪 Too many people say things like “I’ll try that!” or “I’ll give it a go!”, but that to me sounds like you’re half in-half out. I honestly believe that all it takes to be successful is to completely commit and throw yourself in whole heartedly 💖

2. Structure is your freedom! I think some of the reasons the 75 Hard Challenge was so easy for me is because I had structure. First thing in the morning I did my first workout. I made sure I drunk 1L of water before my first workout. I made sure I drunk 2L of water before lunch. I made sure I read my 10 pages every night before I went to bed. It’s the same in business or anything really! Structure helps you gets more done in less time, so that you’ve got my white space to enjoy the things you like.

3. .Don’t make it about how you look – focus on how you feel! Think about how it feels to feel strong, energised and prioritised. You’re worth being an inconvenience! I see so many people put themselves and their health on the back burner, but you’re not going to be able to achieve anything if you don’t have your health!

4. .Surround yourself with people that have the same values as you. I did this challenge because I was inspired by some of my girlfriends that had gone ahead and done the same thing before me. It was also easier doing 75 Hard Challenge because I was surrounded by other people that also value their health, personal development and self-discipline 🙌 It wasn’t hard to have fun on the weekends, have friends over or go out for dinners, because there was no peer pressure or bullying for what I was doing and I wouldn’t be drinking or couldn’t eat what they were… They respected what I was doing and knew it was important to me. If you’re delaying doing a challenge like this (or anything in life!) because you’re worried about what your friends might think or say, it could be a sign that you need to rethink the people you spend your time with.

Credit: Lauren Kerr 75Hard Challenge Poolside

Most Importantly…

Like I’ve said, I’m a big believer of anything in moderation! My husband and I celebrated finishing the 75 hard with a little Island getaway where I enjoyed lots of cheese, wine and a donut for breakfast…with absolutely no guilt ⚡️

Test yourself, push your boundaries and further your growth, but remember to take a moment to enjoy the little things in life too 💖

2021... My wish for you this year

Set Goals on How you Want to Feel

⭐My wish for you is this year you set goals on how you want to feel, not the numbers on a scale or likes on a photo 🙅🏼‍♀️

⭐My wish for you is that you glow from the inside out because you nourish your body with wholefoods 🍓

⭐My wish for you is that you radiate happiness from the endorphins you release daily from moving your body (because you’re grateful you can) 🤸🏼‍♂️

⭐My wish for you is that your energy lights up a room when you walk in because people can feel your peace and joy 🥰

⭐My wish for you is you attract soulful and abundant relationships because your level of self worth wouldn’t accept anything less 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👨

⭐My wish for you is the confidence and security that comes with prioritising your own wealth creation and career so you can have the freedom to pursue your dreams ❤️🙌🏽

Lauren Kerr from Babes in Business starting the New Year with a Glass of Champagne

Welcome to 2021…

Hello and welcome to 2021! I hope you all had a super relaxing Christmas and New Year, and that you’re ready to tackle the year ahead!

Given many of us have just returned to work for the year and we’re starting to get back into the swing of things, I thought it was a great time to talk about NEW YEAR GOALS.

Lets get started…

⭐How many of you have set goals for 2021?

⭐And how many of those resolutions are around your weight?

Us women are the worst for it 🙈

Days of a Professional Dancer

If you have read my book you will know in my days of being a professional dancer, I didn’t have a healthy relationship with food, exercise or myself. And when Christmas would come around I would enjoy everything, and then I would spend January self-loathing. I would punish my body, start a diet or plan out an unrealistic exercise regime 😣

But I haven’t set goals like this since I was 21. It’s been around seven years since I placed these unfair expectations on myself and would beat myself up for not reaching the goals. I had to pull myself up and change my thinking when I realised just how much I was damaging myself. 

Why Didn’t I Achieve My Goals…

I’m sure many of us have set resolutions that depended on a number on the scales, but I’m sure just as many of us never actually achieved those goals 💁‍♀‍ The reason we never ticked them off our list is that we were focusing on the wrong thing. 

A New Way to Goal Setting…

⭐This year, I want you to shake up the way you look at your New Year’s goals.

⭐Instead of making it about what you look like, make it about how you ‘feel’.

⭐Think about how you’re going to feel when you start nourishing your body with the right foods.

⭐Think about how radiant you’re going to be when you’re so positive and happy because you’ve been moving your body every day and releasing endorphins.

⭐Think about the confidence you’re going to have when you have good self-worth and boundaries. 

Lauren Kerr from Babes in Business with a big smile

Getting Back Into The Swing of Things

As you get back into work for the year, I encourage you to set some intentions for yourself.

Ask yourself – “How do I want to feel?”.

⭐Skip the diets, skip the restrictions and skip the weight loss challenges.

⭐Instead, move your body because you’re grateful that you can.

⭐Nourish your body because you’re grateful for everything it does for you, and you want it to keep looking after you.

⭐Think about the sort of person you want to be in your relationships with your family, friends and colleagues. 

If you’re looking for a romantic relationship in 2021, this is something you can consider too…

⭐Do you need to make yourself feel worthy and content in your own company before you can be with someone else?

⭐Do you have your own routine, hobbies and things that bring you joy?

⭐Are you stable in and passionate about your career?

⭐Can you confidently stand on your own two feet financially?

⭐Have you filled your cup to the brim so someone can come share your happy bubble and compliment your already amazing life?

⭐Or are you needing someone to ‘make’ your life and be the reason for your happiness.

Remember we are attracted to people that want us…not need us.

Self love and self worth is sexy AF.

Lauren Kerr babes in Business goal setting in 2021

Are you caught in the Trap of Unrealistic and Unfair New Year’s Resolutions?

These are concepts that we slowly learn as we grow older and develop healthier relationships with our food, movement, relationships and ourselves.

But there are plenty of women, particularly young women that follow me that are still caught in the trap of unrealistic and unfair New Year’s resolutions. I’m here to challenge those girls and say – Don’t do it. 

⭐Make this year the first year that you don’t set a diet goal.

⭐Make this year a year where you focus on how you want to feel.

⭐If you’re focusing on restriction and deprivation, you’re only going to feel like a skeleton and a shadow of your best self.

Choose abundance, nourishment and alignment… 

I take a deep dive on this in my book, and I’ve got a whole chapter dedicated to setting healthy goals for yourself. If you’re looking for further learning and want someone to hold your hand and be a cheerleader, send me a message and have a look into the Healthstyle Emporium. 

Healthstyle Emporium - How it Can Help…

I used to have such a bad relationship with food and movement, which I think resulted from my dancing background. When I came across the Healthstyle Emporium, I learned a little more about nutrition and the effects of stress on my body.

Before this..

I used to run endless kilometres every week, skip meals and restrict my eating. But you know what? Despite me focusing excessively on my ‘health’…it was the unhealthiest and unhappiest I have ever felt 😅

Finding Myself…

After going through that journey myself, I really want to encourage you ladies to make this year the year that you have a different relationship with food - that you focus on loving yourself from the inside out 💖 

⭐The best way to start this journey, and commit to yourself is to surround yourself with women that lift you up, inspire you to be the best version of yourself and encourage you to dream big...

⭐Fill your feed with these women. Spend your time with these women. Stop making space and time for things and people that bring you down and don’t enrich your life, or at the very least challenge you to be better. 

⭐Let’s start by thinking of one healthier habit you can focus on cultivating today…

⭐Whats one thing you can focus on this month that would you become the happiest, healthiest and most inspired version of yourself?

Lets start there 😉

What is the Healthstyle Emporium?

Earlier this week I did an IGTV explain what The HSE actually is, what it includes and I shared a sneak peak of the magic that happens behind the scenes inside the program if you would love to check to out!

Get Healthier and Happier Program

If you would love to get healthier and happier with me this year, be sure to check out the program here.

Partner with Lauren Kerr

And if you would love to get paid to share the program and create an online income, check out info about our team here.

If you have any questions, let's connect!

Send me a message on the below platforms...
- Instagram
- Facebook
- Email

So excited to see what magic 2021 has in store for you!

To your health and happiness,

Social Media Comparison is the Thief of All Joy

Hello there! 

What a crazy few months?! There is a lot of shit going on in the world at the moment. In Australia, we’ve had floods, fires, Coronavirus, an economic crash, the Black Lives Matter Movement, and we’re not even halfway through the year yet. I’m not dismissing any of this because I think it’s so important that we discuss these issues, but I also want to create a space for compassion and happiness. 

As you guys know, I’m a life and mindset coach. My background is in psychology, and something I’m really passionate about is helping overwhelmed and unfulfilled women find their personalised formula for success. Whether that’s in life, relationships or career, there is one key way to make sure we can reach our goals happily and healthily… 

The answer?

Learning that comparison is the thief of all joy. 

Guilt.

Plenty of women I meet feel guilty for not feeling happy or feeling that the more they chase happiness, the further away it seems to get. That's why it's called 'The Pursuit of Happiness' after all! 

I think this happens because so many women in the Western world do what they believe they are supposed to do or what they think society expects them to do. It might be to go to university, get a job, settle down, have a career, have 1.5 kids, get a mortgage or to own a house with a white picket fence, but these expectations are literally everywhere we turn. 

However, it's often the women that follow society's expectations to a tee that have the highest rates of depression and anxiety. That's because when we're so busy working to meet the expectations, we start comparing ourselves to others to track our progress. We're usually pretty quick to compare ourselves to our family, our circle of friends and other people on social media.

Take our free happiness test

Comparison on Social Media.

We're all guilty of comparison on social media, but what we often forget when we're scrolling on Instagram is that we're comparing our behind the scenes with someone else's highlight reel. Unconsciously or consciously, we take on other people's values. We see women going on holidays, getting Botox, buying a new car or going to an expensive restaurant, and we think we need to see, believe or achieve these things to experience happiness ourselves. 

This game of comparison doesn't help you achieve your goals at all. Instead, its actually a thief of your joy. Instead of understanding that we each have our own personalised formula for success, happiness and fulfilment, we blindly look at what other people are doing. That's where we get stuck in the mundane rat race of feeling like we're doing the same thing over and over again, without making any progress. But that's not how you live your best life, that's actually how you hold yourself back from living your best life.

Living YOUR life. 

I read a really beautiful book recently ‘The Top 5 regrets of the dying’ by Bronnie Ware, about her experience of working in palliative care. During her time working with people as they approached their final days, she found that a lot of these people were saying the same things, and the number one regret was "I wish I had the courage to live a life true to myself and not one that others expected of me." 

It's a lovely idea, but I don't think we need to be on our death bed to realise this. Most of you in my community are in your 20s, so why wait until it’s too late to start living your best life. While you're still young, I really encourage you to stop and ask yourself if you're living a life true to yourself? If you know what your values are? If you're pursuing that in your career, your life and your relationships?  OR are you taking on other people's values, expectations and standards? If that's what you're doing, you need to realise that you're robbing yourself of happiness and health.

Lauren Kerr

Reversing the comparison game. 

The first step to living YOUR life is to catch yourself when you're feeling unworthy or when you start comparing yourself to others. You might notice it when scrolling on Instagram, and you start asking yourself why you're not as successful, as happy, as fit or as popular as the person on your screen. 

When you notice these feelings, you need to pause…  

Then imagine you are that person…  

A lot of the time, the people we are comparing ourselves to are actually doing things that wouldn't bring us joy. I know often I look at people that are out socialising a lot and start questioning why I am always at home or asking myself why I don't go out enough. 

But when I think about it, I realise that if I were in that person's shoes, I wouldn't enjoy it because I'm much more of an introvert. I don't really like socialising or networking with people I don't know, I much prefer my own space.  When I check-in and think about if that would actually make me happy, I'm much less likely to feel those feelings of comparison and unworthiness.

Accept your feelings too. 

It's also important to remember that feelings serve a purpose. If you're feeling envious, maybe it's a sign that you're not honouring your personalised formula for success or that you've neglected something in your life that used to bring you joy. 

Check-in with your feelings when they come up and think about whether you need to pivot your behaviour or if you're just comparing for the sake of robbing your own joy.

Say yes to talking.

If this is all pretty new for you, I know it's a lot to start with, but I promise it gets easier! It's totally okay if you don't know how to talk about what makes you happy and brings you joy,  but it's never too late to learn! You can check out my free happiness test here that will help you work out what makes you happy so that you can incorporate those things into your life, job, relationships and business. It'll also help you set goals that align with your values.

I also did a happiness masterclass for the beautiful clients in my holistic health program, but it was so successful that I've decided to share it with you too. You can get your free recording and ticket sent to you by clicking here. 

In a time where there is a lot of chaos, judgement and opinion in the world, remember to light up yourself so that you can bring joy to others. 

Hello 2019 you beautiful thing - let's do more with less this year.

Happy New Year Beautiful! 

I hope you had a Merry Christmas and got to enjoy some quality time slowing down with your loved ones!

I know I did! We have had such a beautiful time catching up with our family and friends scattered on the other side of the globe. 

So grateful to live in a time where social media makes the miles feel not so far between and gives us the option to work for ourselves online so we can work anywhere in the world without stressing about not having leave approved and missing out on magical moments with the ones we love the most.

The small things really are the big things!

Las Vegas was all about celebrating, the UK was all about slowing down and relaxing and Dubai was all about defrosting, getting back in the sunshine and out of our comfort zones to explore.  

I promised you guys I would make a VLOG capturing all the fun - so leave it me, it's on my to do list!

Here is some photos from our last day in the Arabian Desert + some reflections I wanted to share with you as you embark on the gift of a New Year.

I've got to be honest with you, as I was sitting here while this picture was taken watching the sunrise over the Arabian Desert; I sat with a heart full of gratitude ....and itchy feet. 

No Place Like Home…

No matter how far and wide I travel, no matter what breath taking things I get to experience ....they serve as a constant reminder that nothing compares to the love and joy I find back home on the Gold Coast in Australia.

Being in love with a simple life of waking up with the sun, in our own beautiful home, next to a man I love, walking down my street to the beach and feeling the sand between my toes and sun on my face every morning, having access to clean water and the luxury to prepare healthy and fresh wholesome foods everyday while I work from home doing something that I love with people who see the world the same as me.

This is honestly what I have discovered is my own personal recipe for happiness and allows me to feel content and fulfilled every night when my head hits the pillow ... the only thing missing was my family.

And this week both my brothers moved to the Gold Coast!!

So it’s safe to say it’s a few days into the New Year and my 2019 has already been everything I have ever wanted (still missing my parents but it's taken 8 years to get the brothers here, so I won't be greedy and will enjoy this first...then I will blackmail mum and dad with grandchildren if nothing else works! haha I am evil).

The last month traveling, eating, drinking and napping was exactly what the soul needed to realign, rejuvenate and refocus.

But I am back feeling recharged and so excited to tick off some more goals and help more women create a life where they get to live and work on their own terms.

I am such a massive believer in goal setting, not just because it's fun and exciting co-creating a life of your wildest dreams BUT it is backed by science to help you bring about what you dream about. Goals are dreams with legs!

If you haven't put some time aside yet to set your intention for this year, or just don't know where to start - I wrote a blog last year to help you if you would love some extra guidance - grab a comfy spot, a pen and notebook and get all those juicy visions on paper!

don’t get too busy…

No matter what goals you do set this year, don’t get too busy chasing them that you forget all that really matters is being love and doing what brings you joy.

All the stuff you choose to fill your day with is your choice, the energy and money you spend chasing your pursuits is your choice.... but if it doesn’t bring you love and joy, all that stuff in between is just noise, don’t buy into it. Do more, with less. 

This story is one of my favourite metaphors that helps me drown out the noise in a world where we constantly are being told we have to be better and go bigger - and remember at the end of the day what it is that truly matters. I hope this serves you this year and helps you make decisions that bring you joy and love.

"An American investment banker was at the pier of a small coastal Mexican village when a small boat with just one fisherman docked.  Inside the small boat were several large yellowfin tuna.  The American complimented the Mexican on the quality of his fish and asked how long it took to catch them.

The Mexican replied, "only a little while. The American then asked why didn’t he stay out longer and catch more fish? The Mexican said he had enough to support his family’s immediate needs. The American then asked, "but what do you do with the rest of your time?"

The Mexican fisherman said, "I sleep late, fish a little, play with my children, take siestas with my wife, Maria, stroll into the village each evening where I sip wine, and play guitar with my amigos.  I have a full and busy life."

The American scoffed, "I am a Harvard MBA and could help you. You should spend more time fishing and with the proceeds, buy a bigger boat. With the proceeds from the bigger boat, you could buy several boats, eventually you would have a fleet of fishing boats. Instead of selling your catch to a middleman you would sell directly to the processor, eventually opening your own cannery. You would control the product, processing, and distribution. You would need to leave this small coastal fishing village and move to Mexico City, then LA and eventually New York City, where you will run your expanding enterprise."

The Mexican fisherman asked, "But, how long will this all take?"

To which the American replied, "15 – 20 years."

"But what then?" Asked the Mexican.

The American laughed and said, "That’s the best part.  When the time is right you would announce an IPO and sell your company stock to the public and become very rich, you would make millions!"

"Millions – then what?" Gasped the Mexican,

The American said, "Then you would retire.  Move to a small coastal fishing village where you would sleep late, fish a little, play with your kids, take siestas with your wife, stroll to the village in the evenings where you could sip wine and play your guitar with your amigos."

The fisherman was puzzled, "Isn’t that what I am doing now?" 

Feel the fear and do it anyway

How to deal with Fear Podcast

Many of you already know I stepped out of my comfort zone last week and did my first podcast featuring on Ignite your Legend. We spoke about how to identify and remove road blocks which are preventing you from living your own Life Above Zero.

I share what tools I personally use to push past negative self-talk, why I decided to leave my comfort zone, carve my own path and start my own business in hope I inspire and empower you to "Feel the fear and do it anyway”, because we all know that's where the magic is, when your forced to grow Empowering you to live a Life of Health, Wealth and Abundance

Setting Goals that last the WHOLE New Year!

Setting Goals for the Year

Setting your goals and intentions for the New Year is not only an exercise to help you achieve success, but also allows you the time to reflect on how far you have come, the opportunity to ask yourself where it is you are going, where it is you want to be and ultimately – who do you want to be?

I know this time of the year can get vey hectic and it is a struggle to find some quiet time alone to set your goals. I’ll admit I am currently sitting on a plane on my way to the UK and it is the first opportunity I have had to sit, reflect, write and set my own goals.

Goals are Dreams with Legs

I am a big fan and advocate of goal setting. If I was to show you my goals and dreams I wrote down since finishing high school – it is as if I was telling or forecasting my future! Everything I wanted the universe has delivered!

I would love to think I was responsible for making these dreams come true – but I know setting those goals were essential in getting me to where I wanted. Goals provide you with direction and purpose. If you know what you want, what you are working towards and what is important to you – this can help guide you in every decision you make, provide clarity when you find yourself at a crossroad and empower you with motivation and direction when you find yourself lost.

Tips to making and sticking to New Years Resolutions

I am always writing blogs and sharing tips challenging your mindset and perspective, so you are able to become aware of your own values and desires, make sense of your own thoughts and get to know the real “authentic” you.

Now I want you to commit to honoring the real “authentic” you, with Nutritional and Health Coach Chani Carroso’s (some may know this amazing lady as ‘Healthy Peach’) simple goal setting activity that will start your New Year off with a Bang and will make sure it is filled with everything that makes your heart full­­!

Before you start, remember it’s about you

You need to ignore what everyone else is doing and achieving – Your life is about breaking your own limits and outgrowing yourself to live your best life. You are not in competition with anyone else – plan to out do your past not other people.

The first thing you will need to do is get yourself in the right head space. Find a big chunk out of one of the coming days before NYE to sit down and inspire yourself. Depending on what floats your boat, you may like to sit on the beach with a pen and notebook, or sit down on the couch with a yummy candle burning, or maybe in bed wrapped in donnas and pillows with your 2015 playlist playing in your headphones (For Chani she wrote this as she sat on her bed, in a pillow castle, fave candle burning, Chet Faker singing to her through her Bose and hair sandy, wet & salty from her morning ocean swim).

The fun part.

Writing down your wildest ideas. Section each page into the following:

1. Things you want to do

2. Who you want to be

3. What you want to see

4. What you want to have

5. What you want to learn and experience

6. Your one ultimate, main goal (Chani call’s it the biggie big)...

The one thing you're chasing in life. The thing you go to sleep dreaming about and wake up thinking about. Let your imagination run wild. If you have a blank spot, go to the next section/page and come back to where you got stuck later.

It will come to you. You need to have at least 3 blank moments before you have squeezed all the goal chaser juice out of you to have all of your wildest ideas on paper.

Now for each section, ask yourself the following questions:

1. Is it really my goal?

2. Is it morally right and fair to all who are concerned?

3. Can I emotionally commit to start and finish this goal?

4. Can I see myself reaching this goal?

5. Will it take me closer to my ultimate main goal (your ‘biggie big’)?

If you answered No to any of these questions, don't erase the goal, just strike a line through it and come back to it the next time you do this activity. It may not be the right time in your life for you to pursue it.

Go through and give each goal a date you want to achieve it by. Depending on how often you do this, you will have different dates for each goal, divide them into 3 month, 6 month, 1 year, 2 years and 5 year goals.

Ensure they are given a realistic time frame and work towards reaching that goal in time. You will probably find that all your little goals become the steps and journey you need to embark on to reach your biggie big. So order them perfectly and write your own future on paper.

SMART GOAL SETTING

This step is the last but the most crucial. You have to go through everything you've just written and use the S.M.A.R.T. formula. Work through one goal at a time, and take them through this process.

Your goals have to be ‘SMART’, which means: Specific , Measurable , Achievable, Results based and Time based

SPECIFIC

Be specific, cross all your t’s and dot all your i’s so to speak.

Example: “I want to buy my first home. Not an apartment, not a duplex, not a townhouse or in home in an estate, but a home with a yard in a central location close to my work.”

MEASURABLE

The best way to do this is to break it down into smaller achievable goals.

Example: “I will aim to have a deposit in 18 months time. I’ve worked out I need to save 15% of my earnings to achieve this. I will budget each pay, and begin a ‘do not touch savings account’ no exceptions and I WILL NOT touch this account until I'm ready to withdraw my deposit.

 I will stop online shopping to help me get here and to attempt to erase this genetic inbuilt habit of shopping, I will unsubscribe from boutique emails and delete the eBay app off my phone. Anything I have left over at the end of my pay cycle will go into my ‘do not touch savings account’.”

ACHIEVABLE

Your goals should challenge and stretch you a little, to make you work harder but make sure they are realistic.

Example of what NOT to write: “I will play the lotto once a week and enter a prize home draw every month to increase my chances of getting my first home.” This type of thinking will just putting a bad seed in your head. Abort! Earn your goals, don't bet your luck on trying to win them!

RESULTS BASED

If you have a goal that you’re a little iffy on, one that is hard, or will be hard to achieve (you went through 3 blank spots, its only natural to give yourself more then one biggie big), write down the obstacles and the benefits of eventually overcoming them, and achieving this goal.

Example: “I will probably miss out on a few expensive and fun outings with friends such as holidays and weekend get aways, but when I have 2/3 of my house deposit, I can start the fun part… shopping for houses, going to open homes and getting some inspo for my new home”

TIME BASED

Remember what it felt like the night before an exam, five coffee’s deep and cramming as if Dumbledore was going to give you a lifetime access pass to Hogwarts the next day if you got all the questions right?

Well same thing, give yourself a sense of urgency and a good timeframe. Anyone can save for a house deposit in 2 or 3 years time, but why not make it sooner. This will make you FOCUS on your biggie big and help you stay on track. Make your dreams real as soon as possible!

Thanks to Chani this fun little planning and goal setting activity will have you feeling inspired, motivated and focused - just in time for the New Year. It works by attracting those things in life you want to become a reality, helping those wildest ideas you thought never possible, an absolute reality. Be sure to check out Chani’s Website for more health and nutrition inspiration www.healthypeach.net.

TIPS

Use this activity to also reflect…

reflect on your year, what did you learn, what made you happy, what worked, what will you do differently next year. Remember there is no such thing as failure – only feedback. This strategy and way of thinking will help you in strengthening and practicing your mindfulness and gratitude.

A balanced life is reflective of balanced goals.

When you are setting your goals make sure they are reflective of your values. An easy way to ensure this is by listing your 5 top values, aspects of your life you prioritise over others - they don’t need to be in order.For Example; Health, Happiness, Family, Career, Finances.

If you're not sure what your top 5 values are... do this quick 5 min quizz and it will help work it out for you.

Then for each value make sure you have a corresponding goal – whether it be a big change or maintaining your current efforts. This ensures that one goal does not consume all your energy in the new year causing you to neglect other areas of life that are also important to you. This way you now have have a written commitment to hold yourself accountable to in the new year; to approach your life with a holistic and mindful approach.

Wishing you all a safe and Merry Christmas and a New Year filled with health and happiness, and a big THANKYOU to my friends, family and followers (old and new) for the support getting Life Above Zero off the ground.

I can’t wait to see what we all can achieve in 2015 and who I get to help on their journey. I’m excited! See you the first week back in January!

Sending Love and Light

There is no such thing as an un-resourceful person, only an un-resourceful mind.

Working in Child Protection

I definitely have struggles with my world view, my expectations of myself and others, and my understanding of humanity. Each day (as most people do) I learn from experience and self-reflection. There are big discrepancies between what I know, what I have personally experienced and what I see and hear.

A lot of people have the perception to be a Life Coach you have to have gone through something pretty traumatic to be able to motivate others on how to overcome triumph and achieve success.

Sorry no sob story here.

I am not going to lie to you. That’s one of my strengths as a Life Coach and as a Child Safety Officer – I am transparent. I come from a pretty normal upbringing – however I can vouch that all my successes I have achieved on my own, nothing was handed to me, I do know the value of hard work and independence…well at least that is what I used to say to myself.

I have done a lot, seen a lot and know a lot for my age. I used to take pride in the fact I did it on my own. However since working in Child Protection I have come to realise something different.

My Story.

My Mum and Dad never gave me a cent. I got a job at 13 (with a letter of consent from my parents that I could work under the legal age of 14 and 9 months). I bought my first car by myself, studied hard and sat my HSC.

I was the first person in my family to be accepted into university let alone even apply. I gained a scholarship for university. I moved 14 hours away from everyone and everything I had ever known at 18. I worked 4 jobs. I wasn’t eligible for centrelink so I paid my own bills.

I studied hard, gaining myself another scholarship, which enabled me to study overseas and travel. I finished my degree and got into Honours, which lead me to a Graduate position working in QLD Government Child Protection.

What I have learnt from working in child protection.

As I tried to shorten my life story earlier in attempt to explain, I am not a stranger to hard work. But working with families in Child Protection – I have come to realise I didn’t do it by myself. Yes, I looked those scary dreams in the eye and went in for battle, however I was never alone.

I have always had the support of a loving mum, dad and two younger brothers. A nuclear family in itself is a gift – so many today come from broken families and homes. From a young age I was encouraged I could be who ever I wanted to be, I could go wherever I wanted to go, I could achieve whatever I could dream (to their dismay I don’t think they anticipated I would have been chasing those dreams so fast).

In this world there are a lot of things that are out of our control, but our actions aren’t one of them.

Don’t get me wrong, my childhood wasn’t sheltered, but I definitely survived unscathed. Like all kids I battled the schoolyard daemons, having buckteeth in primary school didn’t make it easy to avoid the bullies.

But I think it’s from those experiences I learnt young that people’s actions and words weren’t a reflection of who I was. It didn’t make a difference how pure my intentions were or how nice I was – they were going to act like that regardless. I had no control over it – it was a reflection of their reality – all I could do was have control over my actions. This is a lesson I still try to teach in my practice today;

““People are often unreasonable and self-centered. Forgive them anyway. If you are kind, people may accuse you of ulterior motives. Be kind anyway. If you are honest, people may cheat you. Be honest anyway. If you find happiness, people may be jealous. Be happy anyway. The good you do today may be forgotten tomorrow. Do good anyway. Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough. Give your best anyway.””

— Mother Teresa

Despite being fearful of catching the school bus with these bullies – I chose to put my head down at school and after 3pm I would invest myself in a different area and a different group of friends.

This lead me to true friendships and what became my outlet for years – dancing. From here I kept building on my perspective of the world, becoming more accepting, positive and at peace with my place in it.

I had the self-confidence instilled from family. I had a sense of autonomy and mastery having had been given the space and opportunities by my parents to grow and test myself – I knew my self-worth because I had never been treated badly by a loved one (let me note I wasn’t dating yet, those heartbreaks were yet to come!).

You are not your past.

I am not saying, that you need to come from a loving childhood to achieve success. I am not saying for your future to be bright you can’t have scars from the past and I definitely do not believe your past defines you, otherwise I would not be working in the area I am.

I am saying – understanding the effect of having a loving child hood or having support or the lack of, from family can assist in comprehending why some are having trouble achieving the same goals as others later in life, or living to different social standards or holding different values.

For one a goal may be to expand on their investment portfolio, to another it might just be to be able to look in the mirror and not hate the person they see, it might be to last a whole week sober, to be able to understand why they self- sabotage every relationship they enter, or to understand why their parents struggle to show them love.

Behaviours are reflections of beliefs.

A lot of people’s pasts and upbringings affect the thoughts, beliefs and values they have. The unhelpful ones in particular – self-limiting beliefs - are the ones that cause the most disruptive behaviours and resistance.

But the good news is, that’s all they are; beliefs. They are not your reality. They can be challenged and changed. For outsiders, you need to understand behaviours are reflections of people’s beliefs.

If someone is not respecting their bodies, their health or is allowing others to treat them badly –they need someone to remind them of their self-worth, encourage them to believe in themselves.

People are not their behaviours.

Accept people. Assist them in changing their beliefs in order to change their behaviour. I get asked a lot how I work in child protection and that is my secret; I whole-heartedly accept every one of my clients. I don’t judge them, I hear their story.

I get told I am naïve. Even in the area of work I am in, I see the best in people. I strongly believe that there is no such thing as an un-resourceful person, just an un-resourceful mind. People do the best they can, with the knowledge and resources they have available at that given time.

You can’t expect a bird, who has been caged for it’s whole life – to one day when the gate is left open to fly free and survive. But I assure you, slowly with support and encouragement it might.

We all need a little support and a little understanding.

Living Deliberately - Health and Wellbeing

Hi lovers and welcome to the Life Above Zero blog. This space is used to share love and light. A resource, a coach, a friend, some inspiration you can always turn to – to regain focus, gain momentum, to pick yourself up, and to hear validation – a polite reminder; you are worthy. There is Life Above Zero, and you deserve to live it.

Life Above Zero encompasses a holistic view of living and wellbeing, acknowledging there is more than not being sick, not being sad, not having anything to complain about.

• Yes, those are things to be grateful for, but are you truly grateful for them?

• Does your soul ooze gratitude for the energy you have to freely to devote to things you choose are important?

• Are you aware of what values are important to you?

• Are you surrounded by friends yet still feel alone?

• When you hear your loved ones speak, are you actually listening to what they have to say?

Connection. Purpose. Intention. There is more to life than coasting through it. There is more to life than being just OK. There is Life Above Zero, there are reasons to wake up everyday and feel enthusiastic with a genuine lust for life. You don’t need a lot of money or the perfect body, you don’t need a lot of friends or the perfect partner and you don’t need a lot of attention.

All you need is your perspective challenged, broadened and heard. I hope with each of my blog’s you read; you are able to grow, you learn something new. I hope something I say resonates with your soul and you slowly start to live deliberately, a Life Above Zero.

It seems everyday we are pressured to run faster and faster on the treadmill of life, just to keep up. We live in an age where we consume information, food and media at a breakneck pace, with so many influences dictating to us what is important, forcing expectations upon us of the person we have to be.

We have every minute of our scheduled days packed with errands, tasks and chores. We rush from one place to the next; we rush to get ready in the morning, and then we rush to get to work on time, just to then be able to rush in completing the tasks expected of us, before we then rush home to meet our next obligation and prepare ourselves for our next rushed day.

Life is increasingly competitive. Too many of us become dependent upon adrenalin to keep us where we need to be. We access adrenalin on demand; tea, coffee, alcohol, cigarettes, sugar. These mimic the effects of the real thing, however ironically can lead to 'burn out', where we feel stressed and unhappy instead of fueled and energised.

Many of us feel overwhelmed as a result of our fast paced lives, leading to an alarming spike in diagnosed depression and anxiety in our society.

I cannot tell you all of life’s secrets, I can’t change your entire life today, but what I can do is promise to volunteer wisdom, to help you wake up each day with intention, purpose and gratitude.

You may not have the time to make big changes…yet, and that’s OK. However, today choose to honour yourself and your worth. If you can only commit to small steps: start here, your journey starts with you taking that first, small step.

Honour your time, honour your health, and honour your soul longing for purpose. Try to sit with your thoughts, look inside yourself for genuine energy and pure adrenalin substitutes. The biggest source of energy is enthusiasm and a lust for life. Keep in mind - when you reduce stress there is less need for adrenalin.

So get outside, do something for you, gain a bigger perspective. Make time for something that naturally excites you, something that purely the thought of calms you and somehow magically grows a smile across your face. Whether it be going for a walk, feeling the sun kiss your skin, watching a movie with your partner, playing with your children, dancing all night with your girlfriends…

Take the first step, do something for you, allow yourself some wind down time - because change begins within.

Talk soon,