Domestic Violence...lets talk about it.

Recently I’ve been chatting with you all about some of the things we discuss in my book. But this week, I wanted to talk about something that was on my heart 💖 I find it pretty hard to be open and honest about some things in my life when I’m struggling with others.

That’s why I wanted to come here today to talk about domestic violence 👇

I recently attended a beautiful fundraiser for Kelly Wilkinson. You may have heard her story recently on the news if you’re in Australia. Kelly was a Mum of three beautiful children on the Gold Coast and her husband murdered her 💔 Her sister has five children and now looks after Kelly’s three kids, which means she’s got eight kids at home now! 

Image Credit: Lauren Kerr babes in business ocean side

Sadly… I know it’s not a unique story.

Did you know one in six women experience physical or sexual abuse from someone in their household between the ages of 15 and older? 

I have so many lovely ladies part of my community, subscribed to my newsletter, listening to our podcast and following me on Instagram in this demographic, making it super close to home ❤️ It’s even closer to home for me because I used to work in child protection services and met women every single day that were going through domestic violence. I saw how it happens…and even sadder what keeps them in those situations. 😭

During my time working in this space, I found it super tricky to disconnect 😅 I found it really hard to carry on with my day and have people worrying about the littlest things when there were other women just around the corner going to bed each night literally fearing for their life 🙁 A lot of the women in these situations also have kids… and that brought a whole new level of worry too 😭

In the child safety industry, we always stood by the fact that child safety is everybody’s business. I truly believe it’s the same with domestic violence too. It’s super intimate because it usually happens under the roof of a home, and it’s hidden by closed doors, which means many people don’t hear about it or know much about it 🙅‍♀️

Rather than talking about how we can change the world, let’s shift the focus to how you can change your world – your little piece of your world. Who are the people in your life that might need your support? 💫

We can all do our part to recognize the warning signs

No person wakes up one day and thinks, “I’m going to murder my partner today”. It’s always an escalating process, and there are so many warning signs along the way. Although we can often sense that something is wrong from the outside, it’s such a taboo subject that we don’t know how to deal with it or what to say 🤷‍♀️

When we think about the fact that 1 in 6 women go through this, it’s inevitable that someone in your world is in this situation 🤔  But the other scary thing, is that the perpetrator is someone you know too. It could be your mate, brother, dad, colleague or acquaintance, but it’s an uncomfortable and unfamiliar feeling to tackle and even more so - conversation to have. So most of us avoid it. 😱

Standing on the outside, there are many behaviours that we can pick up on to identify these situations.

• A common phrase is that women experiencing these situations become “a shell of themselves”.

• She may stop going out, her energy drops, and she becomes more reserved.

• Another thing to know is that women in these situations often push people away.

• Often when girlfriends are needed the most, they step back and think that they’re being blocked out.  

As a woman, the best thing you can do when you notice these things is not to become a victim blamer and just to be there.

• Continue to check-in and show up – even if that person shuts you out 💖Just be there.

• Ask questions – do they have somewhere safe to go? Do they have someone they can call for help?

Image Credit: Lauren Kerr babes in business on the beach in the afternoon

Sitting on the Sidelines

I have two brothers that are always around other guys at work and play AFL, and I have a husband that is a CEO of his company (so an influence and role model for his own male staff) and he used to play rugby so is constantly surrounded by men.

There are conversations that I have heard over the years amongst men via them that have happened at work, on the sporting sidelines, at the gym or at training that are simply not okay. Sometimes it’s played off as humour but saying really derogatory things about women is just not acceptable.

The problem with just being a bystander and not stepping in is that these perpetrators start to think that it’s okay, and normalise their thoughts and behaviour… and they not only get away with it 🙅‍♀️ but continue to strengthen their beliefs which reinforces their behaviour.

We need to shift this way of thinking to make any real change in the community. It’s about transforming their thinking. If you hear a male say something that really doesn’t sit well with you, we need to step in instead of laughing along (or avoiding it and turning the other way because it’s uncomfortable). It doesn’t mean we have to start a fight, but simply pulling them up shows them where the line is. 

Domestic Violence isn’t always Physical Abuse

Sometimes it’s when there is an imbalance of power and control. A lot of the time, the way men end up controlling women is through money. When men hold money over women, they loose their freedom, their power, their independence and autonomy. They have to start asking permission to do things, go places and see people.

Without money, they become separated from their community, their family and their freedom 😢…which is also where they loose their safety net. They get cut off from people which means loved one’s can’t see or notice the abuse to be able to report it or offer help or emotional support.

If the man controls the money, more often than not it means when she is out socialising - its also with him which makes it even harder for her to ask for help and adds to the illusion thats everything’s ok because they are showing up together. Sometimes his behaviour may come across chivalrous - when really it’s controlling, manipulative and stalkerish.

This is why I am so passionate about empowering women with their own income stream from home. It's not a luxury - it’s our safety and insurance. Download my free ebook if you would love to read some more statistics around women and wealth and how you can be empowered with your own finances and future.

Image Credit: Lauren Kerr babes in business mindset facts

Men Holding Money over Women’s Heads

When you hear comments about men controlling the money or notice situations like this, it can be as simple as asking: How does your partner feel about this?

Girls are much more likely to do this with other women in their life, but we need to encourage more men to do this and engage in this conversation with men - showing empathy and respect for women as equal partners 🙏

They say we’re the result of the five people we spend the most time with, so it’s important to consider what influence you can have on the people in your life too…

You can make a difference…

Stepping in can also be as simple as just sharing openly how you treat your partner as an equal, how you communicate with your partner, how you manage finances as a couple and even how you manage your own emotions, including stress, jealousy and anger. By speaking about meditation, journaling, or exercise to control emotion, rather than physical or emotional manipulation as an outlet, men can drive change by leading by example. It all starts with open conversations. 

Stepping in when you need to is so important 

If you are worried about someone and there’s just something that intuitively doesn’t feel right, you need to speak up. If someone in your social circle makes a really inappropriate joke and you just avoid it because it’s easier. Your silence is making it easier for the perpetrator.

They are getting the message it’s ok. It is normal to think like that. No one is telling them that’s disrespectful or holding them accountable… you’re giving them permission. Please don’t stay quiet. Challenge their perspective and say something. 

Men …

I really believe it starts with you too. Don’t join in on the banter when one of your mates is saying derogatory things about his partner. Opening that conversation can be as simple as saying – I don’t find that funny, that doesn’t sit well with me or that sounds a little bit controlling. 

As I said at the start of this blog, I find it really hard to just go on with my day when I know there are things like this happening in the world around me all the time. We can all do something to be part of change, or at least influence change in our own small world. I have a platform and audience so I figured let’s use it to start a conversation about something that is relevant and affects all of us in some way.

Women…

So this weeks blog is a different energy to usual but trust me when I say my head is always in the clouds dreaming and being positive…but my feet are planted firmly on the ground and I know what the reality is for a lot of women around the world which is massive driver behind what I do - empowering women with community, support, self worth, financial literacy and their own money.

If you’re going through a situation like this, I just want to let you know that you’re not alone and there are definitely support services that can help you. But it’s also up to us – everyday people – to make the change too.

Please know my inbox is always open if you would like to chat…

Sending all my love, light and strength

P.S We hosted a free event this week where we spoke about how we are empowering women all around the world with financial independence if you would love to to watch the replay here. If it resonates with you on any level - please reach out.

My Results and Reflections from the 75 Hard Challenge

If you’ve been following me on Instagram, you’ll know I just finished the 75-Hard Challenge 🙈 I had plenty of you cheering me on and I am so grateful for your support, so firstly a BIG thankyou for your messages on encouragement along the way 🥰

I was actually inspired to do the 75-Hard Challenge because a couple of my girlfriends had done it. If you haven’t heard of it, you can click here to read my last blog about it! It’s more of a mental toughness challenge than a health challenge.

For 75 days you have to:

✨ Do two 45-minute workouts a day, including one outdoors

✨ drink a gallon of water a day, which is about 4 litres 

✨ Read a personal development book 

✨ Take a progress photo 

✨ Stick to a diet – My partner and I chose vegetarian 

✨ No alcohol

If you miss a day or messed up on a day, you had to go back to day one!

After watching some of my girlfriends do it, I thought – you know, I’m pretty healthy! 🙋‍♀️ I’ve come a long way with my health over the past few years and we live a pretty healthy lifestyle, but I wanted to do it to test my discipline. I eat pretty healthily during the week, but on weekends I love a cheeky cocktail or a doughnut 🙊  

Credit: Lauren Kerr Babes in Business enjoying a beverage 75day hard challenge

Our Focus

My husband and I are both in a chapter of our lives right now we’re really focusing on business, and we can’t travel so we we’re looking for a new way to tap into our full potential and test our limits. 

Before I started, the thing I was most worried about was the alcohol 😅 I don’t drink a lot (I used to in my early 20s!!) but I’ve gotten a point in my life where I will enjoy a cocktail or two when I’m out on the weekend 🍹 I drink pretty consistently but I don’t drink a lot I don’t think I’ve done more than a few weeks without alcohol since I was a teenager, so I was pretty impressed with myself to last 75 days. 

I shared my experience along the way on Instagram and had a lot of you reach out to ask how the experience was for me. So here is some of the answers to your questions, some tips and my results!

After completing my 75 days, I’ve drunk 75 gallons of water, completed 150 workouts (many in the rain! 🌧), I read 8 books and had no alcohol or junk food (I will confess, I did have lollies one day 🙈 BUT ☝🏼 they were vegetarian and had no gelatine in them so I decided that wasn’t technically cheating 😅). 

Although I did the challenge as a mental test, I did notice some physical changes… 

Credit: Lauren Kerr 75hard challenge before/after

Credit: Lauren Kerr 75hard challenge before/after

75 Day Hard Challenge Results Before and After

Before I started, I did a body scan at the gym and then retested halfway and again at the end.

This was never about weight for me, I actually wanted to put on some weight, tone up and gain muscle 💪 I ended up putting on a half a kilo, and I gained centimetres around my arms, legs and butt, which I was super happy about 🤩 I lost some centimetres around my waist and I did go down in body fat too 👊

If I tried to do the 75hard challenge 5 years ago, I have no doubt I would have failed. Many of you didn’t see or know me back then, so I don’t want you to compare your chapter one with my chapter 21. I have come such a long way thanks to all the education and support from the Healthstyle Emporium, and health is a lifestyle for me now.

I move my body because it makes me feel strong, energetic, positive, clear and reduces my anxiety 😇 I don’t look at calories, I eat nourishing and wholesome foods because it nourishes and fuels my body with energy AND tastes yummy 💥 But if I want to have a doughnut, I’ll have a doughnut 🍩 If I want to have a cocktail, I’ll have a cocktail 🍸 I LOVE to read.

It’s something I seriously just enjoy doing these days! So all in all most of the 75 hard was what I was already doing… I just would be excessive and disciplined about it every day… instead intuitive and honouring how my body feels.

BUT that was the point…

This challenge was about showing up and being disciplined everyday! Not just the days you felt like it or had the time to do two work outs…or when the sun was shining 🌞. Trust me - there were many days where I didn’t ‘feel like’ running or walking in the rain and wind.

Especially when Gold Coast had an weather event with torrential rain and floods for a whole week 🤦🏼‍♀️ I still tried to honour my body though, especially as a women through my cycle if I needed to be a little more gentle on my body I would choose to walk instead of run, yoga instead of the gym and I even picked up dancing again to mix things up 🙌

Credit: Lauren Kerr - 75 Days Hard Challenge

The Biggest Challenge…

The biggest challenge for me five years ago would probably have been the food. I had a really bad relationship with food and looked at all foods as either good ✅ or bad ❌.

Even trying to eat plant based or vegetarian diets would have left me confused on what I could actually eat! It wasn’t until I joined the Healthstyle Emporium that I realised eating healthy didn’t mean I had to cut out all my favourite foods. I’ve learnt there are healthy alternatives for everything, and it’s okay to eat the foods we love in moderation ☺️

While I enjoy a drink or two on the weekends now, I used to binge drink pretty much every weekend five years ago 😳 I used alcohol as a way to manage emotions. When I felt shit, had a bad day at work or just wanted to lose myself, I would reach for alcohol or a weekend out with the girls to just get drunk and let of some steam 💃  rather than learning healthier ways to manage stress like I do now - exercise, journalling, meditation, deep breathing, understanding and honouring my cycle and hormones.

It’s so important not to play the comparison game… 

The 75 Day Challenge is Too Hard

To all the girls out there thinking the 75 Hard Challenge is too intense or difficult, this is your reminder that everyone is at a different stage of their health journey. While I would have struggled with the challenge at 23, the 2.5 months honestly wasn’t difficult for me at 28 💁‍♀️ It was inconvenient and there were days where I really didn’t feel like sticking to it, but I still made it through pretty easily. 

Mix It Up Then…

If you’re someone that still has a while to go on your health and wellness journey, I probably wouldn’t recommend throwing yourself into the deep end with this challenge ✋ Instead, try moving your body because it feels good – not because you’re punishing it for a big meal, one too many drinks or because it’s been a while since your last workout 👊

Skip The Diet… Try Education…

Skip the diet and educate yourself about nutrition, so you learn to enjoy and eat nourishing foods because you want to fuel your body with the energy you need to get through the day! 🙏 The funny thing is too - once you start to eat better and cut out processed foods and refined sugar - your taste pallet changes and it starts to crave more of the good stuff making is not only easier to eat better but you actually prefer the taste of wholesome plant based meals and treats 🍫🤤

Make Time for You!

My highest value is freedom, so the biggest thing for me is during this time was the mental game of knowing I was restricting myself! I believe everything is okay in moderation! We’re not going to look back on our deathbed and be grateful that we never ate a doughnut!

But when we feel good, we do good 🥰 Some of the best days of our lives are in front of us, and if we don’t have our health, we’re not putting ourselves in the best position to enjoy them ✨

Reflecting

I realised just how far I’ve come in the past few years when I realised that many of the things in this challenge were already part of my life.

The day after finishing, I still went for a 10km run, read a whole book and drunk my 4L of water 💦 The one thing that will be changing now that I’ve finished is that I will be treating myself to a cocktail when I feel like it 🙈 Why? Because I enjoy it! And that’s a good enough reason if you ask me 🤷‍♀️

I think that’s a really important point for us to consider though.

1. Why do you drink alcohol?

2. Is it because you feel like you need it to be fun and social?

3. Do you do it be outgoing?

4. Do you do it to manage your feelings and emotions?

The same thing applies to sugar! 🍬 I used to reach for sugar to treat myself after ‘being good’, or when I was feeling down or at the end of a long and stressful day. Cutting these things out of your life gives you the opportunity to reflect on the relationship you have with them 💁‍♀️

Why are you doing the challenge? 

If you decide to do the 75 Hard Challenge, I encourage you to consider if you’re doing it for the right reasons before you start ✋

1. Are you doing it to starve yourself?

2. Are you doing it to punish yourself?

3. Are you doing it to lose weight?

I would say that these may be the wrong reasons to do a challenge like this!

I think it’s far more beneficial to do the 75 Hard Challenge to test things like discipline and unlock your full potential. 

Read More: My Goal for 2021 and Why 75Hard Challenge

Key Reflection Points

There are a few things I reflected on at the end of my time in the challenge that I would love to share with you ✨

1. I think we’re all capable of doing anything we set our minds to 💪 Too many people say things like “I’ll try that!” or “I’ll give it a go!”, but that to me sounds like you’re half in-half out. I honestly believe that all it takes to be successful is to completely commit and throw yourself in whole heartedly 💖

2. Structure is your freedom! I think some of the reasons the 75 Hard Challenge was so easy for me is because I had structure. First thing in the morning I did my first workout. I made sure I drunk 1L of water before my first workout. I made sure I drunk 2L of water before lunch. I made sure I read my 10 pages every night before I went to bed. It’s the same in business or anything really! Structure helps you gets more done in less time, so that you’ve got my white space to enjoy the things you like.

3. .Don’t make it about how you look – focus on how you feel! Think about how it feels to feel strong, energised and prioritised. You’re worth being an inconvenience! I see so many people put themselves and their health on the back burner, but you’re not going to be able to achieve anything if you don’t have your health!

4. .Surround yourself with people that have the same values as you. I did this challenge because I was inspired by some of my girlfriends that had gone ahead and done the same thing before me. It was also easier doing 75 Hard Challenge because I was surrounded by other people that also value their health, personal development and self-discipline 🙌 It wasn’t hard to have fun on the weekends, have friends over or go out for dinners, because there was no peer pressure or bullying for what I was doing and I wouldn’t be drinking or couldn’t eat what they were… They respected what I was doing and knew it was important to me. If you’re delaying doing a challenge like this (or anything in life!) because you’re worried about what your friends might think or say, it could be a sign that you need to rethink the people you spend your time with.

Credit: Lauren Kerr 75Hard Challenge Poolside

Most Importantly…

Like I’ve said, I’m a big believer of anything in moderation! My husband and I celebrated finishing the 75 hard with a little Island getaway where I enjoyed lots of cheese, wine and a donut for breakfast…with absolutely no guilt ⚡️

Test yourself, push your boundaries and further your growth, but remember to take a moment to enjoy the little things in life too 💖

2021... My wish for you this year

Set Goals on How you Want to Feel

⭐My wish for you is this year you set goals on how you want to feel, not the numbers on a scale or likes on a photo 🙅🏼‍♀️

⭐My wish for you is that you glow from the inside out because you nourish your body with wholefoods 🍓

⭐My wish for you is that you radiate happiness from the endorphins you release daily from moving your body (because you’re grateful you can) 🤸🏼‍♂️

⭐My wish for you is that your energy lights up a room when you walk in because people can feel your peace and joy 🥰

⭐My wish for you is you attract soulful and abundant relationships because your level of self worth wouldn’t accept anything less 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👨

⭐My wish for you is the confidence and security that comes with prioritising your own wealth creation and career so you can have the freedom to pursue your dreams ❤️🙌🏽

Lauren Kerr from Babes in Business starting the New Year with a Glass of Champagne

Welcome to 2021…

Hello and welcome to 2021! I hope you all had a super relaxing Christmas and New Year, and that you’re ready to tackle the year ahead!

Given many of us have just returned to work for the year and we’re starting to get back into the swing of things, I thought it was a great time to talk about NEW YEAR GOALS.

Lets get started…

⭐How many of you have set goals for 2021?

⭐And how many of those resolutions are around your weight?

Us women are the worst for it 🙈

Days of a Professional Dancer

If you have read my book you will know in my days of being a professional dancer, I didn’t have a healthy relationship with food, exercise or myself. And when Christmas would come around I would enjoy everything, and then I would spend January self-loathing. I would punish my body, start a diet or plan out an unrealistic exercise regime 😣

But I haven’t set goals like this since I was 21. It’s been around seven years since I placed these unfair expectations on myself and would beat myself up for not reaching the goals. I had to pull myself up and change my thinking when I realised just how much I was damaging myself. 

Why Didn’t I Achieve My Goals…

I’m sure many of us have set resolutions that depended on a number on the scales, but I’m sure just as many of us never actually achieved those goals 💁‍♀‍ The reason we never ticked them off our list is that we were focusing on the wrong thing. 

A New Way to Goal Setting…

⭐This year, I want you to shake up the way you look at your New Year’s goals.

⭐Instead of making it about what you look like, make it about how you ‘feel’.

⭐Think about how you’re going to feel when you start nourishing your body with the right foods.

⭐Think about how radiant you’re going to be when you’re so positive and happy because you’ve been moving your body every day and releasing endorphins.

⭐Think about the confidence you’re going to have when you have good self-worth and boundaries. 

Lauren Kerr from Babes in Business with a big smile

Getting Back Into The Swing of Things

As you get back into work for the year, I encourage you to set some intentions for yourself.

Ask yourself – “How do I want to feel?”.

⭐Skip the diets, skip the restrictions and skip the weight loss challenges.

⭐Instead, move your body because you’re grateful that you can.

⭐Nourish your body because you’re grateful for everything it does for you, and you want it to keep looking after you.

⭐Think about the sort of person you want to be in your relationships with your family, friends and colleagues. 

If you’re looking for a romantic relationship in 2021, this is something you can consider too…

⭐Do you need to make yourself feel worthy and content in your own company before you can be with someone else?

⭐Do you have your own routine, hobbies and things that bring you joy?

⭐Are you stable in and passionate about your career?

⭐Can you confidently stand on your own two feet financially?

⭐Have you filled your cup to the brim so someone can come share your happy bubble and compliment your already amazing life?

⭐Or are you needing someone to ‘make’ your life and be the reason for your happiness.

Remember we are attracted to people that want us…not need us.

Self love and self worth is sexy AF.

Lauren Kerr babes in Business goal setting in 2021

Are you caught in the Trap of Unrealistic and Unfair New Year’s Resolutions?

These are concepts that we slowly learn as we grow older and develop healthier relationships with our food, movement, relationships and ourselves.

But there are plenty of women, particularly young women that follow me that are still caught in the trap of unrealistic and unfair New Year’s resolutions. I’m here to challenge those girls and say – Don’t do it. 

⭐Make this year the first year that you don’t set a diet goal.

⭐Make this year a year where you focus on how you want to feel.

⭐If you’re focusing on restriction and deprivation, you’re only going to feel like a skeleton and a shadow of your best self.

Choose abundance, nourishment and alignment… 

I take a deep dive on this in my book, and I’ve got a whole chapter dedicated to setting healthy goals for yourself. If you’re looking for further learning and want someone to hold your hand and be a cheerleader, send me a message and have a look into the Healthstyle Emporium. 

Healthstyle Emporium - How it Can Help…

I used to have such a bad relationship with food and movement, which I think resulted from my dancing background. When I came across the Healthstyle Emporium, I learned a little more about nutrition and the effects of stress on my body.

Before this..

I used to run endless kilometres every week, skip meals and restrict my eating. But you know what? Despite me focusing excessively on my ‘health’…it was the unhealthiest and unhappiest I have ever felt 😅

Finding Myself…

After going through that journey myself, I really want to encourage you ladies to make this year the year that you have a different relationship with food - that you focus on loving yourself from the inside out 💖 

⭐The best way to start this journey, and commit to yourself is to surround yourself with women that lift you up, inspire you to be the best version of yourself and encourage you to dream big...

⭐Fill your feed with these women. Spend your time with these women. Stop making space and time for things and people that bring you down and don’t enrich your life, or at the very least challenge you to be better. 

⭐Let’s start by thinking of one healthier habit you can focus on cultivating today…

⭐Whats one thing you can focus on this month that would you become the happiest, healthiest and most inspired version of yourself?

Lets start there 😉

What is the Healthstyle Emporium?

Earlier this week I did an IGTV explain what The HSE actually is, what it includes and I shared a sneak peak of the magic that happens behind the scenes inside the program if you would love to check to out!

Get Healthier and Happier Program

If you would love to get healthier and happier with me this year, be sure to check out the program here.

Partner with Lauren Kerr

And if you would love to get paid to share the program and create an online income, check out info about our team here.

If you have any questions, let's connect!

Send me a message on the below platforms...
- Instagram
- Facebook
- Email

So excited to see what magic 2021 has in store for you!

To your health and happiness,

TIS THE SEASON TO BE JOLLY 🤶 How to find joy more often🎄

🤶Christmas is around the corner ☃️

And we’re on the home run to the end of 2020 now. Crazy, right? It’s been a year of slowing down, surrendering and I’ve had so many breakthroughs. I’ve had the time to dismantle a lot of my self-limiting beliefs which I believe was necessary to take me to that next level and depth in life, business and relationships. 

While there has been plenty of joy in my year, I also acknowledge the challenges we’ve faced too...

When I’ve stopped to ask people how they are over the past few weeks/months, the most common responses that come up are: 

1. Overwhelmed. 😅

2. Worried. 😳

3. Uncertain. 😥

4. Anxious. 🥺

And I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t felt these emotions too! 😅

These feelings are normal… 🤗

Firstly, it’s essential to acknowledge that these feelings are totally normal after the year we’ve all had. Life as we knew it was completely turned on its head 🤯 and we’ve seen changes in just about every aspect of our lifestyles. 

A good indicator of your mental health is that you feel appropriate feelings. So don’t be angry at yourself for being overwhelmed, being stressed or feeling worried right now, because the fact that you’re even feeling those emotions means that you actually do have good mental health because those are all natural responses to the usual circumstances you’ve lived through this year. 

Amongst the chaos this year, my best friend was busy growing a beautiful baby girl! There are so many positives and gifts that come from 2020. P.S I am in another pretty skirt from BABYLEMONADE. Use the discount code: BIB for 15% off!

Expanding my knowledge…

With my background in psychology, it’s no secret how passionate I am about mental health and holistic health 🙈 I recently spent a few days with leading researchers and experts in the area at “The Happiness and its Causes” Conference.

This event happens every year and is an excellent opportunity for health professionals to share the most recent positive psychology research so we can learn how to apply these findings in our lives, relationships, careers and businesses. 

It was so incredible to be a part of these discussions and build my own knowledge, but what’s knowledge if it’s not shared? If people aren’t sharing the resources and information they have, how can we possibly become collectively happier and healthier?

So that’s what I’m here to do now… 💁‍♀‍

One of the leading causes of death for people my age (which is the same age as many of my followers!) is suicide. It’s obviously not a light and easy conversation to have, but it’s also a necessity with 1 in 4 sometime in our life experiencing depression.

It’s something that’s affecting all of us…🤯

And that’s why it’s essential that we talk about it 💬, share constructive strategies to go through it and even replace these feelings with more joy.  

One of my favourite speakers at the event spoke about how we can find joy on demand. ❤️

And what better opportunity to talk about finding joy 💬 than the start of the jolly season🎄! So here are a few of my golden nuggets:

Tuning into the ‘Happiness and it’s causes’ Virtual Conference in another pretty dress from BABYLEMONADE. Use discount code: BIB for 15% off your Christmas and summer dress shopping👗 it's pretty much all you will see me in this summer 😉

🤶 Joy is a feeling that you feel moment to moment… 

A lot of people speak about happiness, but they’re actually referring to the elated feeling of joy.

Happiness is more of your attitude or overall perspective on life…

Joy is something that you have to find and grasp onto in every moment. The most recent research is showing that you can ease yourself into these feelings, and it’s actually your brain’s default setting, so you have a sustainable source that is infinite and can be unlocked at anytime!

Meditation…

Many people understanding the importance of having a nourishing diet and moving their body, yet few fewer realise how important it is to look after our minds too 🙈  And meditation is one of the best ways we can do this.

Meditation can decrease cortisol levels, helps build resilience, encourages compassion and manages stress... 🧘‍♀‍

This is why we have a whole ‘mindset’ section with meditations, life coaching activities, gratitude, moon tracking, manifestation and journal prompts for our members in our holistic health program The Healthstyle Emporium so they can be empowered to nourish their mind, body and soul from the inside out.

If you are a regular meditator (which I know many of us are ❤️), you’ll notice that when you drown out the noise, you get clear, calm and still. This sense of peace is when joy comes naturally, so it’s a great way to ease yourself into it.

Even just 5 to 10 minutes a day can help… ✌️

Knowing that joy is your default state means you can find joy on any day and at any time too.  

🤶 Take the opportunity to notice joy…

Joy is something that you experience in thin slices of time and space, but we’re spending so much time outside of ourselves that we’re missing the joy, we’re missing the moment.

When we don’t take the opportunity to acknowledge the joy, we don’t have the chance to enjoy the joy – especially given how short the moments of joy can be 😢

When you start noticing the moments, you can train your brain to start picking up on them more often. You have this part of your brain called the Reticular Activating System (RAS for short 🙈) which is basically a built in confirmation bias OR super power ✨ (depends how you look at it and consciously use it 😉).

If you start telling your brain what you want, it starts looking to confirm that bias. Your brain is so good at what it does that it takes short cuts to only look for the things you want it to 👀

The morning is a great time to do this...🌞

If you start your day by reflecting on your goals, highest values, writing in your gratitude journal or reading your personal mission statement, you’re activating your RAS system for the day ahead and setting yourself up to keep noticing those things.

Joy is no different! Start small and appreciate the little things, and your brain will continue to find those feelings. Use the festive season as the perfect excuse to start! 🎄 It might be watching your children laugh, cherishing the embrace of a parent or savouring the first mouthful of your pavlova 🤭

Noticing the thin slice of joy as I enjoyed a Champagne watching the sunset with my husband.

🤶 Be on the end of a kind thought. 

Another interesting topic discussed at the conference was the idea of being “on the end of a kind thought”. This could mean sitting at the end of your meditation and asking yourself “Who do I want to send love to today?”, “Who do you hope is having a beautiful day?”, “Who do you need to send light or strength to today?”.

These questions are proven to uplift your spirits and can completely change your outlook on a day. 

The idea came from a recent study where they were studying employees levels of satisfaction at work. Some loved their job; others couldn’t stand being there 😅 Regardless of how they felt about their role, they found they felt uplifted after setting a timer every hour and using the alarm as a reminder to stop and think a kind thought and send love to someone on his heart.

A man who was previously miserable in his job role, after this experiment reported to have had the best week of his life during the study – even though nothing actually changed in the workplace or his surroundings, he was just consistently on the end of a kind thought! 👏

🤶 FINDING JOY IN THE JOYFUL SEASON

Enjoying the festive season at our Babes in Business Christmas Party - in another pretty dress from BABYLEMONADE. Use discount code: BIB for 15% off your Christmas and summer dress shopping👗 told you it was all you will see me in this summer 😉

🤶Time to relax and enjoy the festive season 🎄

I honestly can’t believe we’re already in December?! It’s crazy, right? I know it’s been an overwhelming and challenging year for everyone between world pandemics, economy crashes, global warming disasters, politics and social movements… but I also think it’s been a necessary year for many of us.

And as we come towards the end of the year, there is no better time to be looking for joy in our lives, reflecting on our lessons and relishing in our blessings.

I’m hoping that you have a merry season with your loved ones and enjoy all the yummy food, drinks (I am looking forward to mum’s mango daiquiris on Christmas Day 🙊) and belly laughs!

Sending so much love from my family to yours and am so excited to see what 2021 has in store for us all.

Short Term Satisfaction VS Long Term Gratification

Hello beautiful people, 

I hope you’ve had an awesome start to your week! 

After having a chuckle about the realisation that I now own a dog worth more than my shit-box (but loyal) car, I wanted to jump online to talk to you about:

The difference between short-term satisfaction and long-term gratification 

The car I drive around in now is a little Mazda 3 sport that I bought when I got my first job out of university seven years ago.  It’s not that I can’t afford a new one - the income that I create each month means I could buy four of my cars each month - it’s just that I don’t need one because I don’t drive anywhere. I work from home, I live near the beach, and on the weekend, we can get around in my husband’s car. 

This decision not to buy a new car comes from my financial literacy, and passion for educating women about their financial literacy too.

Living beyond our means. 

There are plenty of people that create a lifestyle based on how much money they make. These people feel like when they start earning more money, they need to up their lifestyle to match.

  It might sound like a good idea at the time, yet in reality, all they end up doing is getting caught in a trap where they never actually have financial freedom.

The more money they make the more they consume…the bigger mortgage, the newer car, the more expensive holiday or designer wardrobe just means the money flows out of the bank account almost as quick as it comes in.

One of the things that used to motivate and inspire me when I was first starting my business and knew that I was in charge of my own income was my excitement to be able to buy a little Jeep Wrangler for myself.

I still am excited to make the big purchase one day (although I have been warned it’s a horrible car and not realistic for a future family), but I haven’t yet because I also know that it’s not really a smart decision. It would give me the short-term satisfaction, but not the long-term gratification. 

At first, I would be like:

“This is so awesome!” (AKA I am so awesome *cough cough* look at me and what I bought all by myself)

“I love this” 

“I want the sun on my face, the wind in my hair and to live it up!”

But after a few weeks, those feelings would fade, and whether I bought the car outright or leased it to reduce my taxable income, there are so many other things that would give me a much higher return on my investment.

Have you made a decision like that before? You’re not alone!

We’re in a generation of consumerism, quick fixes, and we want everything now. We often overleverage ourselves or buy our way into incredibly expensive lifestyles that we can’t actually afford. When we chase these short term gratifications, we’re more likely to put things on credit, take out a loan, use afterpay, borrow money or overextend ourselves to buy the things we think we need, rather than saving up until we have enough to buy it with our own savings. 

Going beyond just the price tag, it’s also important to consider if the big purchase is actually going to give you what you’re looking for. Is it going to provide you with joy in the long run? Will you feel satisfied after the purchase, or will your focus turn to the next thing on your wish-list?

If you’ve read my book you’ll know happiness in habitual. The more you have, the more you want. Hence why it’s called the ‘the pursuit of happiness’. Sop make sure you’re not trying to find your happiness in the wrong things.

Seeking short-term gratification goes beyond your bank account.

I think many people, especially women in our age group, have this issue in their relationships. Everyone has that friend (or it could be you!) that keeps jumping from one relationship to the next.

Often, it’s because they’re too tempted by the short-term satisfaction of lust, sex or passion, rather than the intimacy, trust and loyalty that comes with the delayed gratification of overcoming triumphs together, being vulnerable, learning how to forgive, compromise or have those uncomfortable conversations in the first place.

This trait applies to your health too.

I know a lot of people head to the gym or go on a diet for the short-term gratification of wanting to “lose those last few kilos” or “get a bikini body in time for summer”.

What ends up happening is that they find the quick fix or fad, get the results they want, and then three months later the weight is all back on because they didn’t have the drive to ditch the short-term gratification for the long-term satisfaction of learning how to have ongoing healthy habits.

The result? Well, that yo-yo lifestyle could lead to plenty of long-term health issues! 

Searching for short-term rewards even comes into your diet. After a shitty day at work, many of us head straight to the pantry to treat ourselves to whatever we can get our hands-on. When I used to work in child protection services, my go-to reward after a long, stressful and exhausting day was to stop on the way home and buy myself an entire tub of cookie dough – I’d finish it before I even got home too! It gave me the short-term gratification of treating myself, but it didn’t do me any favours in the long run.

Getting down to business. 

I am so passionate about teaching women this theory and helping them apply it to their business or professional life. I mentor thousands of women in our Babes in Business community, and it plays a massive role in our network marketing structure because we learn to stop trading time for money. 

Yes, we still get the short term satisfaction of the ‘now’ money with retail profit, commissions and bonuses…but we also get to start creating long-term wealth strategies with multiple income streams when we are able to delay that gratification and have a long term vision and build a business that compounds over years and continues you pay you long term well after the ‘work’ you once did.

It’s a strange concept for anyone living in the Western world, as it’s the way we’re groomed to think from a very young age. When you join a network marketing company, you learn to ditch the mindset of doing something today because you’re going to be rewarded for it today. We discover that having the long-term vision and delayed gratification is so much more rewarding and beneficial in the bigger picture. 

Through Babes In Business, we talk a lot about having residual income streams. Having a residual income stream allows you to have the freedom and flexibility that I’ve created for myself in the four years since I started my business so I am no longer trading my time for money…but it took time and delayed gratification to be able to build that.

However a lot of women my age, especially the younger girls on social media just don’t know about the behind-the-scenes of someone else’s life or business, and they only see the rewards and highlights reels online - hence why they don’t see the power in delayed gratification or persistence when they can just have the comfort of instant satisfaction instead.

We’re not having the conversations or providing the education to understand the hard work that went into getting to that point. We don’t acknowledge the transition from the starting point when someone was putting in the effort and not necessarily getting the results, to where they are now. 

The delayed gratification of committing to still showing up, being consistent and doing the work even if you can’t see the results today because you know something better is coming and worth while long-term.

Improving Financial Literacy.

Improving financial literacy is the key to breaking down this disconnect. There are so many different ways to earn an income. You can have a job, and still create a long-term wealth creation strategy on the side. There are some avenues that take time and capital, like investing in property or buying stocks and shares, and there are other choices, like network marketing that let you earn the income by doing the work or like I like to call ‘sweat’ equity or investment. 

When I started out, I had time on my side, but I didn’t have the money in my pocket. By ditching the desire for short-term gratification and focusing on my long-term vision, I got to where I am today. The result is a lifestyle of fulfilling relationships, happiness, flexibility, health and wealth.

The research. 

With my background in psychology, I’m always keen to back things up research, statistics and facts. In fact, there is an entire chapter in my book dedicated to breaking down the researching into long-term gratification. This chapter talks about a study called the Marshmallow Study, which has been replicated time and time again - you might have even seen it in the Instagram ‘marshmallow challenge’ that Kylie Jenner recently did with her daughter. 

Basically, the longitudinal studies shows that the kids with the ability to wait for the long-term gratification (the ones that can wait for two marshmallows, rather than eating one straight away) end up being more successful later in life. They often have better relationships, improved university marks, higher income, lower likelihood of being in domestic violent relationships, substance misuse and enjoy an improved mental health. 

It is crazy how powerful this is! And you can bring it into your life too. 

Start by looking at your own life and questioning where you are seeking short-term gratification, rather than focussing on the bigger picture?  Once you acknowledge the behaviours, it’s much easier to address them or make changes. 

If this is new to you (especially in regards to your money and wealth creation) we’ve created a new side hustle guide – which you can find here. It’s a free guide to educate you on all the ways you can earn an income.

There are so many different choices and vehicles, and this guide will empower you to find the right one for your lifestyle, goals and vision. Also, a great book if you want to be empowered and educated to make better decisions around money so you aren't tempted by 'short term satisfaction' is the 'millionaire next door' by Thomas J. Stanley.

Think small steps, commit to just taking one step at a time, but focus on the big picture and keep your eyes on that long term prize gf!

Chat soon,

LIFE AFTER COVID: Finding your flow again and working out what you should do next

Hey guys! 

If you've been following my Instagram posts and stories over the past few weeks, you'll know that I am in an interesting season of life right now. As we all are - I too, am working through my own shit.

You know you guys can always rely on me to be real and raw with you so I wanted to take the time to drop in, give a little life update and share with you what I’m currently navigating, as well as a few strategies I'm using to reconnect with my intuition. 

Anyone else here a recovering human doing? 

Image of Lauren Kerr on a Podcast

It seriously feels like I've been hustling my butt off for the last 10 years. I went straight from school to university on a scholarship. I was juggling multiple jobs whilst studying Psychology at university striving to get into honours. Next, my focus was on getting a job, but when I got my job in child protection, I enrolled to study life coaching on the side and started my my side-hustle.

Then I spent 18 months pouring all my energy into getting my business off the ground to replace my full time income. I’ve spent the last three years investing in my personal and professional growth, mentoring thousands of women how to master their mindset and create a life on their own terms, writing and publishing my book ‘Life Above Zero' and continuing to pour my soul, sweat and tears into my business in order to duplicate that success and keep the momentum going… 

After what might seem online like an ‘overnight success’, is actually 10 years of pushing,  striving, pursuing and doing… and now I've been gifted with the time to stop and breathe, and just ‘be’ and enjoy the fruits of my labour and the residual income I have been able to create with the network marketing profession.

It sounds pretty relaxing right? 

Well, in theory, it should be. But I'm the sort of person that thrives off doing. I find flow and fulfilment in setting goals and then achieving those goals – all at a million miles an hour. It might sound odd to a lot of you but stopping and trusting in the future, the universe and its divine timing is uncomfortable for me. 

Learning to slow down and relinquish control… 

Although I'm not very good at it, I realise how important it is to slow down when I need to. I've been journaling a lot during the past few weeks, and it's made me realise that this rest isn't a choice. I'm not sure if I was on the verge of burn out, but I just have no more gas left in the tank – mentally, spiritually and physically. 

I think it's quite a familiar feeling among creatives. When you're creating something, whether it's music, writing, art or anything else, you often feel so inspired and driven, that you become all-consumed. Then, when you finish your masterpiece, you're left feeling a little empty, lost and confused.

Babes in Business Podcast

In my case – I've spent what feels like forever working on my book! Then when COVID-19 hit, everything was thrown out. I was no longer in control and could not push anything…shipments got stuck overseas; I couldn't record my audiobook as my flight to record interstate had been cancelled with my publisher, bookstores couldn't order my book and connecting with overseas suppliers was pretty tough.

But here I am learning to trust the universes divine timing and I am excited to announce my audiobook is now available on Audible and launches on the 12th of July, and the book will start popping up in book stores over the coming months.

So now that chapter is done, and out of my control, I'm left asking myself – what do I do next?!

To help with the changing of seasons and to reconnect with my flow, I've been trying something a little different:

My Surrender Project. 

The Science of Flow… 

You'll hear me talking about flow a lot, and it might sound wishy-washy, but there is actually science behind it. 

It's called the Art of Fulfillment and the Science of Flow. I've got a Free Masterclass if you'd like to learn a little bit more about that. Basically, research shows that people need to create specific circumstances in order to feel particular emotions. Being in these situations is also a massive predictor of fulfilment. So, if you're not feeling fulfilment right now, it could be because you're not creating conditions where you can find your flow. 

My Surrender Project…

My Surrender Project is about identifying what brings me joy, allowing abundance without the guilt that I am no longer hustling for it and unpacking my own self limiting beliefs around the need to run at one million miles an hour. Here are some of the things that are helping so far: 

1. Every morning ask yourself: What would feel good today? Some days I book my hair in to get done, other days I might swap the gym for a nice walk, and sometimes it's about baking a banana cake and calling my best friend. It doesn't have to cost a lot of money or take a lot of time, but it can make a huge difference.
   
   
   

2. Another thing that has helped me is asking myself these three questions: 
   

   a.    Do I trust and believe in my big vision? My Free Happiness test can help you find clarity in this goal and identify how you can work towards a goal that you believe in and aligns with your values if you don't feel like you have a vision right now. 

   b. Are your needs met today? Do you have what you need to put food on the table, have a roof over your head and do you feel safe?  

   c.    If so, then what is the next aligned step? This question has really helped me lean into the actions that feel right and allow me to experience more flow and connect with my gut / intuition / inner truth.

3. I am a very logical, rational and science-based person (hence why Life Above Zero is about making spirituality science) but I do believe that we're all here because we've got something we're meant to do. Sometimes we make it so complicated because we let what's rational or logical get in the way of taking the next inspired step towards that vision.
   
   So another strategy that has been helping me work out my next move is to ask myself what I can give, rather than what I can receive. Because so often we make decisions and take action based on what we will receive in return for doing it e.g. money, recognition, accolades.
   
   But this strategy flips that on its head and makes you realise you have already received, look around at everything you have been gifted with; life, health, love, relationships etc.
   
   So rather than feeling like you have to do something in order to receive something in return, now you have already received, what would you like to give?
   
   When you come from that space; what would you love to give, contribute or create out of choice, inspiration, flow and alignment?

Putting pen to paper again… 

The result of my time of reflection is that I'm spending every morning writing. It feels so good to be connected and in flow again. It could be my next book, who knows! 

I'm toying with the idea of calling it "The Surrender Project: The Diary of a Recovering Human Doing" and just share the journey, the inner workings of my crazy mind and the things I'm doing to rewire my workaholic brain, the strategies and activities that I've been exploring and the magic that unfolds from learning how to relinquish control and surrender to faith instead.

Let me know if you guys would love me to share those journal entries with you has I continue to surrender and navigate this next chapter in hope it might help you fellow human doings too.

Until then - Hopefully, these tips serve you and will help you find your flow again and work out what your next move is navigating life after COVID! I’ll keep leaning into My Surrender Project, and following the breadcrumbs.

Keep an eye out for my book too! Make sure you tag me in your photos if you see it in a book store close to you. I have been loving hearing what you guys are taking from the book.

Chat soon,

Social Media Comparison is the Thief of All Joy

Hello there! 

What a crazy few months?! There is a lot of shit going on in the world at the moment. In Australia, we’ve had floods, fires, Coronavirus, an economic crash, the Black Lives Matter Movement, and we’re not even halfway through the year yet. I’m not dismissing any of this because I think it’s so important that we discuss these issues, but I also want to create a space for compassion and happiness. 

As you guys know, I’m a life and mindset coach. My background is in psychology, and something I’m really passionate about is helping overwhelmed and unfulfilled women find their personalised formula for success. Whether that’s in life, relationships or career, there is one key way to make sure we can reach our goals happily and healthily… 

The answer?

Learning that comparison is the thief of all joy. 

Guilt.

Plenty of women I meet feel guilty for not feeling happy or feeling that the more they chase happiness, the further away it seems to get. That's why it's called 'The Pursuit of Happiness' after all! 

I think this happens because so many women in the Western world do what they believe they are supposed to do or what they think society expects them to do. It might be to go to university, get a job, settle down, have a career, have 1.5 kids, get a mortgage or to own a house with a white picket fence, but these expectations are literally everywhere we turn. 

However, it's often the women that follow society's expectations to a tee that have the highest rates of depression and anxiety. That's because when we're so busy working to meet the expectations, we start comparing ourselves to others to track our progress. We're usually pretty quick to compare ourselves to our family, our circle of friends and other people on social media.

Take our free happiness test

Comparison on Social Media.

We're all guilty of comparison on social media, but what we often forget when we're scrolling on Instagram is that we're comparing our behind the scenes with someone else's highlight reel. Unconsciously or consciously, we take on other people's values. We see women going on holidays, getting Botox, buying a new car or going to an expensive restaurant, and we think we need to see, believe or achieve these things to experience happiness ourselves. 

This game of comparison doesn't help you achieve your goals at all. Instead, its actually a thief of your joy. Instead of understanding that we each have our own personalised formula for success, happiness and fulfilment, we blindly look at what other people are doing. That's where we get stuck in the mundane rat race of feeling like we're doing the same thing over and over again, without making any progress. But that's not how you live your best life, that's actually how you hold yourself back from living your best life.

Living YOUR life. 

I read a really beautiful book recently ‘The Top 5 regrets of the dying’ by Bronnie Ware, about her experience of working in palliative care. During her time working with people as they approached their final days, she found that a lot of these people were saying the same things, and the number one regret was "I wish I had the courage to live a life true to myself and not one that others expected of me." 

It's a lovely idea, but I don't think we need to be on our death bed to realise this. Most of you in my community are in your 20s, so why wait until it’s too late to start living your best life. While you're still young, I really encourage you to stop and ask yourself if you're living a life true to yourself? If you know what your values are? If you're pursuing that in your career, your life and your relationships?  OR are you taking on other people's values, expectations and standards? If that's what you're doing, you need to realise that you're robbing yourself of happiness and health.

Lauren Kerr

Reversing the comparison game. 

The first step to living YOUR life is to catch yourself when you're feeling unworthy or when you start comparing yourself to others. You might notice it when scrolling on Instagram, and you start asking yourself why you're not as successful, as happy, as fit or as popular as the person on your screen. 

When you notice these feelings, you need to pause…  

Then imagine you are that person…  

A lot of the time, the people we are comparing ourselves to are actually doing things that wouldn't bring us joy. I know often I look at people that are out socialising a lot and start questioning why I am always at home or asking myself why I don't go out enough. 

But when I think about it, I realise that if I were in that person's shoes, I wouldn't enjoy it because I'm much more of an introvert. I don't really like socialising or networking with people I don't know, I much prefer my own space.  When I check-in and think about if that would actually make me happy, I'm much less likely to feel those feelings of comparison and unworthiness.

Accept your feelings too. 

It's also important to remember that feelings serve a purpose. If you're feeling envious, maybe it's a sign that you're not honouring your personalised formula for success or that you've neglected something in your life that used to bring you joy. 

Check-in with your feelings when they come up and think about whether you need to pivot your behaviour or if you're just comparing for the sake of robbing your own joy.

Say yes to talking.

If this is all pretty new for you, I know it's a lot to start with, but I promise it gets easier! It's totally okay if you don't know how to talk about what makes you happy and brings you joy,  but it's never too late to learn! You can check out my free happiness test here that will help you work out what makes you happy so that you can incorporate those things into your life, job, relationships and business. It'll also help you set goals that align with your values.

I also did a happiness masterclass for the beautiful clients in my holistic health program, but it was so successful that I've decided to share it with you too. You can get your free recording and ticket sent to you by clicking here. 

In a time where there is a lot of chaos, judgement and opinion in the world, remember to light up yourself so that you can bring joy to others. 

Why most people are dissatisfied with their jobs

Did you know 80% of people are dissatisfied in their jobs?

The average person works 90,000 hours in his life - that's a long time to be miserable!

How did we get here?

I think a lot of it has to do with work life balance. Once upon a time, work for most of us, was done living life. It was hunting, growing and cooking our food, teaching our children, building our homes  - we would have time for joy, connection, family, the outdoors, exercise and hobbys sprinkled throughout our day. 🌻🍃

Now most people have 8-10 hours a day where work is separate and at the expense of things that bring them joy and happiness. It doesn't help that in the USA workers only take an average of 50% of their paid vacation days.

🤯 That's crazy! You've got 90,000 hours to knock out, take the chance to chill on the beach when someone gives it to you or just stay at home and relax, spend time with your family, friends, enjoying Hobbies or do sweet fuck all with no obligation! 😎

Lauren on a rope swing

It's even sadder in Japan where 10,000 workers per year drop at their desks as a result of 60 to 70 hour work weeks 😢 -  the phenomenon so prevalent that it even has a name "Karoshi".

I think the biggest problem with all the dissatisfaction is that in most cases people are bringing the wrong mentality and the wrong expectations into their workplace.

Yes we all have to work, yes we need money, yes there will be not so fun parts in every job, yes it helps to find something you enjoy and are passionate about and try figure out a way to monetise it. But have and enjoy life OUTSIDE OF WORK, make time for it, prioritise it and protect it!

But most people think if they work long enough and make enough money eventually whatever happiness they are postponing will just sort of arrive. If that were true then why is it studies show that the peak of income that correlates to happiness is $83,000? 

🤔 There is no amount of work you would do, that will finally make the work go away and definitely no amount of money you can make that will solve all your problems. And the sooner you realise that, the sooner you can look for happiness in places where it might actually be found. ✨

Inspired by Aubrey Marcus’s book / Own the day, Own your life.

Pstttt have you ordered your copy of my book yet?

They should start arriving this week! I can’t wait to break down some of the myths for you around happiness, what it is, what it isn’t and where you can actually find that fulfilment most of us are chasing.

You can grab your copy here! Be sure to send me a photo when yours arrives and share with me your biggest break throughs and take aways.

BOOK UPDATE + 2019 REFLECTIONS / oh and let me reintroduce myself...

Happy New Year fam bam!

I hope you are feeling energised and excited for 2020 after having some quality time with your loved ones over the Christmas Break (I also hope you and your family are safe from the Aus bushfires) all my love, light and strength is being sent out to my fellow Aussies, our country and wildlife right now) and a reminder to open your heart, wallets and home where you can.

I guess I should reintroduce myself? Hi, I am Lauren Kerr! haha we had the most beautiful wedding the week before Christmas and spent the last few weeks in our love bubble with our nearest and dearest who had travelled all around the world to share our magical day with us.

The day itself was more beautiful than we could have ever imagined - despite everything leading up to it being a disaster (but I promise to share that in a later blog and all the wedding details/vendors - for now I will share a sneaky photo with you!)

Book Life Above Zero - by Lauren Kerr

So what now…

Over the last three weeks in my down time, resetting and getting re-inspired myself for a new year - I have read and listened to 5 really great books that I would love to share;

• Emma Isaacs / Winging it

• Aubrey Marcus / Own the day, Own your life

• Louise Hay / You can heal your Life

• Carmine Gallo / Talk Like Ted

• My book “Life Above Zero” twice - before the final edits went to its big print THIS WEEK! It feels so surreal! Have you ordered your copy yet?

Take my Happiness Test Now for Fun…

I only have limited copies for my community so get in quick and order yours if you would love to be one of the first to read it! Otherwise you will have to wait for the official launch date in book stores in Aus in March.

Signed Pre-ordered Copies

Pre ordered copies (will also be personally signed to say A BIG THANKYOU!) will start to arrive in your mailboxes the last week of January - the perfect time after the festive season has slowed down to set or revisit goals for 2020, dig deep and get clarity on what truly makes you happy and learn how you can make small shifts in your health, relationships and career to find the fulfilment we all seem to be chasing and try save as many as I can from the mental health epidemic.

AND YES WE SHIP WORLD WIDE!! - Order your copy here - and be sure to tag me in photos as they arrive. I can not wait to hear what you take from the book and what breakthroughs you have - all my heart, lessons and education has gone into it and I can not wait to gift it and pay it forward to you.

Annual goal setting…

Between reading, reflecting and journaling over our Wedding and Christmas hiatus - I did my annual goal setting where I set clear intentions for the year in each of my highest values (health, relationships, business, travel, wealth and personal development).

Goal 1

One of my goals I identified was to enjoy stillness. It sounds so simple but I honestly struggle to not only create more white space, but ENJOY it. I have the tendency to run a million miles per hour, juggling a hundred things at once (and getting them all done too may I add ) and then feeling guilty or uncomfortable resting. I’m your “I’m your get shit done girl 🙋🏼‍♀️” - but one thing I realised amongst the hustle is I lost my connection to my intuition.

OH OOH…

Some of you may know I twisted my ankle a few days before my wedding! I was supposed to be clocked off and in holiday mode but I felt restless and so decided to go for a big run and BAM! 

As I was reading Louise Hays book “you can heal your life” over Christmas, I had a little chuckle to myself that in her book she explained injured ankles translates to the “resistance or guilt around enjoying and accepting all the pleasure life has to offer.” Which rang so true for me.

Bouncing Back!

So here I am, committing to myself (and publicly to you too for extra accountability). This year I am making my spirituality and stillness a priority - connecting to my intuition through journaling, meditating, moon tracking and yoga AND rejoicing and accepting all the joy life has to offer (without the guilt 🥰).

I would love to hear your reflections from 2019 and what are you publicly committing to this year? I can not wait to start seeing my book in your hands, for all of you beautiful souls who have already ordered it - I am excited to see what 2020 has in store for you, be prepared for some mindset shifts.

Check out my Book

Do good things come to those who wait?

Well do they?...

So many people come to me and they all want a better than average life but most are not willing to put in more than average work.

We live in an era where life is fast paced and we want it NOW -  we are wanting people to promise and deliver quick fixes and results...so, do good things really come to those who wait?

Listen to the Istagram Live I shared this week on the tips, tricks, psychology and research behind success in health, wealth, relationships and life!

Feel the fear and do it anyway

How to deal with Fear Podcast

Many of you already know I stepped out of my comfort zone last week and did my first podcast featuring on Ignite your Legend. We spoke about how to identify and remove road blocks which are preventing you from living your own Life Above Zero.

I share what tools I personally use to push past negative self-talk, why I decided to leave my comfort zone, carve my own path and start my own business in hope I inspire and empower you to "Feel the fear and do it anyway”, because we all know that's where the magic is, when your forced to grow Empowering you to live a Life of Health, Wealth and Abundance

The secret to happiness and success

The Secret to True Happiness

My partner recently said something to me that stood out… and got the reflective juices flowing, resulting in this blog! I was telling him the exciting news that I had just been offered a position at work, that I really wanted. His response was “Of course you did Lauren, if only once you didn’t get what you wanted.”

I told my Dad the same good news, his response was similar, “Of course you did, you’re Lauren, everything always works out for you.”

At first, I was offended by these remarks from the two men in my life that I seek approval and attention from. What they said sounded to me like I was a spoilt brat, who gets whatever they want handed to them on a silver platter. I know that was not their intention. I know, and they know (and anyone else who witnesses how hard I work, constantly and whole heartedly knows) that is not the case.

But, They are Right…

But yes, they are right, in some way or another, I do always get what I want. There is a process to my thinking surrounding these things:

• I have a hard think about what I truly, deeply want/need, to be a happy and healthy human.

• I question what receiving or gaining that would give me or change in my life.

• I allocate my time and energies accordingly.

That is why I am a Life and Wellness coach; I want to teach others how they can get what they want, how to live the life they want and how to be the person they want to be. If you’re not going to go out and get it, no-one else is going to give it to you.

So, I’ve decided to share with you my personal formula for happiness and success (to me they are the same thing!)

1) Have a Vision

Firstly ask what is success to you? Is it a personal vision, is it a feeling, way of life, a position? Is it wisdom, ownership of materialistic possessions? In one on one life coaching in my practice – I help people become aware of their goals, their passions and purpose, then I coach them to set and achieve goals in accordance to them.

A good way to get the goal or that vision in your head is creating a vision board or write a letter from your future self! It sounds corny but just try it (or feel free to email me if you want help), and from there, work backwards…

2) Acceptance

When I don’t get what I want - I don’t stamp my feet and chuck a tantrum (although I am sure there are occasions growing up my Dad would probably disagree with that). In the real “adult” world, I handle closed doors and disappointments very differently.

This is why people may have the “illusion” that I always get what I want, because I practice acceptance. I say if I had always got what I wanted, I would be one unhappy girl today. I have learnt to be thankful for closed doors, detours and roadblocks, because they protect me from paths and places not meant for me.

Sure, I have thrown a little pity party for myself, but have learned to free myself from them as I gain emotional intelligence and maturity – you need to be able to identify your feelings. Recognise them and give yourself space to allow them. Experience those feelings, otherwise they don’t go away they just get suppressed.

However, I don’t let my pity party turn into a pity bender - I shift my thought patterns, motivation and commitment to an alternate route and keep moving forward, with more enthusiasm! When I get knocked down, I get back up again, trusting the universe has bigger better plans for me (this is where religion may play a role for some).

3) Be Kind

I am kind to everyone I meet. Everyone.

Whether they be in my professional or personal world, I am always kind (this can be challenging sometimes working in Child Protection, nonetheless I do it anyway). When you are kind and help others, most people are kind in return, and are happy to help you on your road to success.

If you need something; help, advice or to be introduced to someone who can help, usually, a person you have been kind to will be more than willing to help out! So don’t have ulterior motives, help others and be kind to every soul you meet, it’s called ‘Karma’ and it will return the favour some day!

4) Be Genuine

When I say I am kind, that does not mean I am fake or sugar coat my words. I don’t beat around the bush or just tell people what they want to hear (this would definitely not work in Child Protection). Sometimes, if I have something I need to say that may offend someone, I will say it anyway (nicely). I can explain my intentions; if I have to say something that might hurt someone’s feelings I explain that I’ve said it in the best interest of that person (and check back in with yourself, reflect and question yourself to ensure it really is!

How will this person benefit from hearing what it is you have to say? Does it really need to be said if it is at the risk of hurting their feelings or beating their self-esteem). I explain to them, I am telling them this because I care for them and want to be transparent with them.

5) Work hard

Identify your end goal, and ask how badly do you want it? What are you willing to sacrifice for it?

It is true, if it was easy we would all have it or all do it.

Sometimes it is easier to whinge and moan, to blame it on bad luck and on others, than it is to take ownership, to take accountability and to step up and make changes.

If you want to lose weight, but aren’t willing to eat a balanced diet or get your body moving – then you obviously don’t want to lose the weight bad enough.

If you want an A in your next exam, but you want to keep watching that TV series instead, it’s obvious that don’t want those grades bad enough.

If you want true committed love, yet aren’t wiling to suck up your pride and have the uncomfortable discussions with your partner to work out your issues, then guess what? You don’t want the relationship bad enough.

Working hard isn’t about instant gratification either, if you want something - work at it - do not give up. It’s about persistence, it’s making sacrifices today for something you might not necessarily see tomorrow or the next day, but trust you will reap the benefits in a month or years time.

This is how University works! I am sure a few of you reading this are just like me and juggled 3-4 part time/casual jobs whilst studying at uni, knowing in 4-5 years time it would all be worth it! Same as going for a run (despite the fact you do get instant release of endorphins) you can not expect to drop weight after one run, it comes back to consistent work.

If the end goal is truly something you madly, deeply want, something your heart is longing for, then the hard/persistent work won’t discourage you, you will go to bed dreaming about it and wake up excited about it! And if you don’t, revisit your goal, ask yourself do you truly want it? This is leads me to…

6) Reflection.

This is a biggie for me. I frequently reflect to ensure the life I am living is in accordance with my values, things I believe are important. This is how I make decisions and weigh up what sacrifices are worth making, or if I am sacrificing too much. A way I keep this in check, is by using my ‘mission statement’.

It is little piece of paper I have written and keep in my diary, I have identified my top 5 values and articulated how the person I aspire to be would ideally incorporate these into their life accordingly (I will share this strategy in my next blog).

By reflecting, I ensure my behavior is aligning with my values, essentially making sure I am walking my talk. I reflect the purity of my intentions and ensure they are not manipulated by society, status, fashion or money – as these are things I have identified in my mission statement are not values of mine that I want to be controlled or dictated by.

7) Forgiveness

In life you must have emotional balance - just like you need a healthy dose of work and play, veggies and sweets, sun and rain. There is happiness and sadness. It is inevitable you are going to get hurt. But, don’t let the world make you hard. Love and live whole-heartedly. Forgive.

Don’t hold onto negative energy hating, bitching or stalking someone’s instagram/Facebook pages. All that does is make you spiteful and heavy.

It takes way more energy to hate than it does to love…so forgive…

It’s like my favourite saying “resentment is like drinking poison hoping it will kill your enemies” Nelson Mandela. Forgiveness however, does not necessarily mean to forget. Make an executive decision, you are your own boss – do I want this person in my life?

If I do… fair enough - acknowledge what they did was wrong, realise they are capable of doing it again, love and accept them anyway by planning for it or not allowing them to be in the position to hurt you again.

Be a lover not a fighter, and know better for next time. If you decided – No, you don’t want that person in your life anymore - then that’s also fair enough, respect yourself to walk away from anything that no longer serves or grows you.

Appreciate that lesson and let it go. Don’t waste energy ruminating over it, forgive them and use that energy to be constructive, move forward and closer to your success and happiness.

So, this is my personal formula. It may not work for everyone, but that’s the whole point of Life Coaching – identifying what is important to you, the individual, and living your life accordingly.

By practicing these 7 things in my life, I am a happier person, people often describe me as “happy - go lucky” and a “go getter”, I am motivated yet, also at peace with where I am. I get to live life light, with no baggage, no regrets nor hatred. I can look at myself in the mirror and be proud of who I am, because I treat everyone the same regardless of what they have to offer me.

Like everything in life - it comes down to balance – be a nice human but don’t expect things to be passed to you because of it – you still have to get up and chase those big dreams yourself…but that’s where the fun begins ;)

If you feel you need a little help please reach out – you can find some of my life coaching programs.

Sending happiness and success your way,

A hug a day DOES keep the Dr Away

A Hug a Day keeps the Dr Away

So if you haven’t already heard or checked out our holistic health program the Healthstyle Emporium, it is our very own sacred space where we empower our clients to be the healthiest and happiest versions of themselves. With access to all of our resources, such as monthly educational webinars, one on one coaching, access to our amazing team of health professionals, it’s a place where you can dive deep on our meal, exercise, yoga, and meditation guides. 

The best part about it is… we have regular challenges! We are currently in our 14 days of bliss challenge, where we are empowering our clients with daily assignments, rituals and routines aimed at eliminating and managing stress - the biggest contributor to unhappiness, disease and belly fat! Day 9’s de-stress activity was HUG THERAPY!

So, what is Hug Therapy?

You might agree, yeah hugs are nice, but what the hell is hug therapy?! Hug, snuggle and cuddle therapy is a new 21st century phenomena sweeping across our high tech world, where people are charging anywhere from $60- $90 per hour for healing, clothed, therapeutic, nonsexual touch.

However the theory of touch is not a new one! Research from as early as the 20th century investigates child development in which nurture (in the form of a soothing touch) plays a critical role.

Security & Relationships

• Research has discovered how essential physical touch is, not only for emotional regulation in children but also in adults and has consequences for the relationships individuals form later in life. One of the very first studies on touch was the infamous Harlow study which demonstrated that baby monkeys prefer a cloth doll without milk as a mother substitute over a metal doll with milk. We have come a long way in conducting ethical research since then, and I think it’s safe to say worldwide we agree that babies need to be held. There is evidence that adults who were frequently hugged and cuddled during early childhood display fewer stress symptoms than those less-hugged counterparts.

• Hugs teach us how to give and receive. There is equal value in receiving and being receptive to warmth, as to giving and sharing. Hugs educate us how love flows both ways.

• The nurturing touch of a hug builds trust and a sense of safety. This helps with open and honest communication.

HUGS PROMOTE Happiness

As adults we can live without hugs, but research proves we are happier with them!

• When we touch others we release oxytocin (known as the “pleasure” hormone) which increases feelings of attachment connection, trust and intimacy and heals feelings of loneliness, isolation, and anger.

• Holding a hug for an extended time lifts one's serotonin levels (known as the “happy” hormone”) which elevates your mood.

• Hugging boosts self-esteem. From the time we’re born, families’ touch reinforces we are loved and we are special. Association between self-worth and touch from our early years becomes imbedded in our nervous system. The cuddles we received from our Mum and Dad while growing up remain imprinted at a cellular level, and hugs remind us at a somatic level of that. Hugs, therefore, connect us to our ability to self-love.

• Hugging relaxes muscles, enabling tension to be released from the body. Hugs can take away pain; soothing aches by increasing circulation into the soft tissues.

• Similar to laughter and meditation, hugs encourage us to practice mindfulness, reminding us to let go and be present in the moment. They teach us to detach from logical thinking patterns - connecting you with your heart, your feelings and your breath.

black-and-white-free-hugs-grunge-hippie-Favim.com-2443097

Better health

• High levels of stress can weaken the immune system, making us more susceptible to illness and infection. However, research has found that physical affection also alleviates stress reactions in adults, by decreasing heart rate, blood pressure and cortisol levels (known as the “stress” hormone).

• Hugs strengthen the immune system, as the gentle pressure on the sternum creates an emotional charge activating the solar Plexus Chakra. This stimulates the thymus gland, which regulates and balances the body's production of white blood cells, keeping you healthy and disease free.

A hug a day, CAN keep the Dr. away!

Today we live in a fast paced, high stress world – where millions of us now live and love via our social mediums, with hundreds + friends on our Facebook, instagram, twitter networks, and yet somehow many of us are able to move through the entire day without having experienced one human-to-human, warm-bodied hug – isn’t that sad?

It’s cold and flu season again — so make sure you get plenty of sleep, get some extra vitamin C and… hug each other a little more! It’s that simple – Reach out and hug your partner, your friend, your co-worker, your family…and your life may not only feel better but last longer!

Running through your wall: A guide to breaking the mental barriers of running

Gold Coast Marathon

With the Gold Coast Marathon coming up in two weeks, I am sure some of you are thinking:

1. “Why would any sane person want to run 21/42km, who would do that to themselves?!” or

2. “I wish I could run like that.”

You already know I am not a Personal Trainer or exercise scientist; rather I am a fellow running enthusiast using my Psychology degree, to enable my clients to alter their mindset, focus on the positives and set goals to allow them to reach their full potential and take advantage of the abundance life has to offer!

I am one of the lucky ones, I inherited long running legs from my Mum, who was an athlete, and fortunately my Poppy is an athletic trainer. So growing up I got all the technical training and drills (and I guess the genetics)… However this blog is me handing down some tips I have learnt on the way - how to defeat that little voice in your head telling you, you can’t do it!

mum

1) Mastering the Mindset

Most long distance runners know defeating that ‘little voice’ is half the battle. Your mind is your most active component when it comes to running; your ego will tap out before your body will. During your run, do you find yourself saying “only 2 more songs” or working out how much you have done in comparison to how much you have to go?

Remind yourself this: As long as you’re breathing, your body will continue to go. That is why it is called aerobic or cardio exercise – your body just needs your heart pumping to deliver oxygen to your working muscles.

Aerobic exercise encourages the heart and breathing rate to increase in a way that can be sustained for the exercise session; your body is designed to do this. So don’t buy into what that little devil in your head is saying, keep running, your body has got this!

2) Just keep breathing

Like I said – cardio is all about the breath and this is where most people struggle. Do you panic hearing yourself get out of breath? It’s for this exact reason I rarely run/train with other people in fear they are not in control of their breath – I can hear when they become flustered and panic, struggling with their inconsistent breaths, which can cause me to struggle to stay in sync with my own breath.

I have taught many of my friends and clients this: slow down your breath.

To be honest, this is my number 1 trick. When you’re in control of your breath, you become in the flow, you are able to run with ease for kilometres without becoming overwhelmed, having to think or count down the KM’s – you can just be. For me, I breathe in through my nose, out through my mouth for long and slow breaths, ensuring my muscles are getting the maximum oxygen they can, to fuel my beautiful, long beach runs.

It may sound simple yet so many struggle with this. A good trick is to take yoga classes! Yoga teaches you to become aware, focus and control your breath, even when holding poses that cause your heart rate to skyrocket, yoga is able to teach you to find ease, stillness and peace in the discomfort.

3) Update Your Inner Dialogue

The truth is  change is unfamiliar, it takes effort and requires us to leave our comfort zone, and understandably people unconsciously only move towards situations that make us feel better.

Consequently, we only make changes when the pain of staying where we are, exceeds the pain of growing.  Unfortunately, even if we don't like where we currently are, what we are doing or who we are with, if moving forward or the fear of the unknown feels worse, often we will remain in our familiar discomfort and neglect our goals and dreams.

So I ask you… do you really want to run? What about it is going to make you feel better?

Explore your narrative, what thoughts do you associate with running?

• Are you telling yourself it will be embarrassing if someone sees you running?

• Are you telling yourself that you will be too exhausted to go for a run after a long day at work?

• Are you telling yourself it’s too cold and raining outside?

• Are you focusing on all the times you’ve said you’re going to train and work up to it and didn’t follow through?

• Are you thinking of all the other things you have to do and that you won’t have the time to run for an hour?

If this sounds like your story – it makes sense that you struggle to take action.

So — let’s write a new chapter...

Small shifts in your thoughts create big shifts in your behavior.

Try shifting to:

• “Running after work is my secret weapon to rebooting my energy and releasing those endorphins”

• “I will feel really f-ing proud of myself if I get up and start kicking my own goals, rather than just talking about it and worrying about what others may think”

• “I have been sitting inside rugged up staring at a computer screen for 8 hours, I can’t wait to get outside amongst nature, warm myself up and feel the fresh air upon my face”

• “I struggled in the past, but this time I’ve got a revived outlook, enthusiasm and motivation for creating the life I want and doing things I say I want to do.”

• “I am so excited to have one hour to myself out of my busy day, one hour to treat myself, focus on my breath, clear my mind and be present”

You get to choose the thoughts that are in your head. Write a fresh story, one that motivates, enthuses and excites you to get moving and make changes.

4) Spice it up! Make it fun!

Mix it up. Download some new songs or make a playlist of all your old school favourites! I love the sunrise over the ocean so that’s my motivation for getting up for my run in the morning. Mix up your routes, go exploring, run to your favourite look out! Even use some healthy competition, download an app where you can monitor your pace and try beat your last run.

5) Create a Community of Support

Humans are social beings who thrive on meaningful connection. Successful treatment or rehabilitation for any mental or physical condition relies on utilizing a support network. So, if you are trying to create a healthy lifestyle, form healthy habits or run those longer distances, get a friend on board! Set goals together, register for an event or a marathon so you have something to train and aim for, join a running group or hire a personal trainer.

Surround yourself with like-minded people who will inspire and motivate you, who will hold you accountable to the changes you say your are going to make, people who will remind you of your "why". Whether it is following inspirational people on your social media, family, friends, an online forum or a life coach, the support you need is out there. Go find it!

6) Be Smart: Create a foolproof environment

If you have decided running is something you want to do/ be better at/is a goal you want to work towards, you need to be smart about planning for success. When we are planning to make changes in our lives, we often over-estimate our ability to practice self-control by not accounting for influences of our environment.

You don't want to eat junk food? Don't have them in your home. You don’t want to drink?

Don’t go to the club. Clean out your environment, and likewise be deliberate in building yourself a supportive environment. This may be something as simple as putting your phone on charge on the other side of the room to ensure you wake up and go for you run first thing in the morning, before you find yourself scrolling down on your insta/facebook feed for an hour.

Or even packing your runners in your bag so after work you don’t have to go home before you go for a run, preventing the opportunity to get comfortable on the couch! I do things like purposely organising or leaving my car places so if I need it, I have to run back there!

Put as much distance as you can between you and your temptations for unwanted behaviour.

It may not always have to be this way, but in the early stages of building change, be smart, honest and kind to yourself. You're not super human, we all have our kryptonite (mine is cookie dough oooops),  so don’t put yourself in situations where you have to be so strong. Give yourself a safety net.

If you want to stop wishing you could run like those fit people on your insta feed and actually run like that or if you want to stick it to that little voice in your head and prove you can do it… try some of these little tricks….AND RUN FOREST, RUN!

Healthy Peach: How I have cleared my skin after 15 years

How i Cleared My Skin

So my friends and family can vouch for this - I have personally struggled with my skin on and off for the last 6 years – I think that comes hand in hand being a young woman being fed different information and receiving different health recommendations from varying skin and health professionals…

After years of money spent and trying different products and prescriptions - if you could see me now you would not think I have had such a struggle.

My skin is flawless and because I was so embarrassed by my face I never took photos to be able to prove or share my story or progress. But my business partner and friend Chani Healthy Peach has – she has even written a blog to share our secret on how we have beat acne. Find her featured blog below.

Teenage Years

Its funny. When I look back on my teenage years in high school, I honestly thought that my skin issues would eventually subside one day. I never thought that at the age of 27 years old, I would still be dealing with the battle of acne and the snowball of emotions, thoughts and feelings that came along with it.

I know that talking about this publicly is going to reach so many young women, even men, in the same position that I was in about a year ago. A year ago, I had acne all over my face. It was heart wrenching - how vain does that sound?! But it was.

It was so bad that I would run late for appointments and meetings because I would underestimate the time It would take me to cover it up with makeup… I could literally spend hours trying to cover it up - which only made it worse. I would call in sick to my job or cancel plans with girlfriends because I didn't want to be seen in public.

Many of you know I work in an operating theatre at times as an anaesthetic nurse… Well, there were days there were I would literally grab myself a mask that was only meant to be worn in sterile conditions and walk around for my entire shift with one on so I could cover my face up.

I spent hundreds of dollars worth on treatments to try and combat what was happening on my face - microdermabrasion, skin acid peels, laser… you name it (thank goodness my mother is a skin specialist - she really did help me control my skin and helped me in so many other ways… emotionally and mentally… more than she’ll ever know).

A client of mine who recently went through a similar thing with her skin explained it perfectly. She said her acne was worse than feeling overweight. She said "It’s on your face, people talk to you and look straight at your face and it's something that you just can't hide. You see people’s eyes zig zag from left to right, subconsciously or maybe consciously judging your face and you cant help but wonder how it looks at that very moment in time. Are they looking at my face? Does it look bad? Has my makeup worn off?”.

She was so right, those of you in the same boat would know that your confidence reaches an all time low. You go through waves of emotions of having a ‘good day’ followed by a ‘bad week’ where your skin just does its own thing and is so unpredictable. In a day and age where you feel as though looks sadly matter - it's every girl's nightmare.

Well Today

I am acne free. Actually I’m 100% pimple free! And I'm going to share with you what I did to combat 15 years of acne issues. YES 15 years! ZOMG. Thanks goodness it's over.

It started in my early teens for me, I was 13 years old, I guess my hormones kicked in and it snowballed from there. I didn't have the best diet back then believe it or not (fizzy sugary drinks, lollies, chocolate, not so healthy lunch boxes because I was a fussy child & hated fruit), plus I was dealing with stress from trying to be an academic at school, plus other stressors of being a young teenager… boys, fitting in, sports, acceptance. It was certainly a collection of things that contributed when I look back now.

How I wish I could teleport to my high school self and just give myself a big hug now…

Today when someone asks me for advice on skin, the first thing I say is (and gosh I wish I knew all this all those years ago), what’s happening on your skin is indicative to what’s going on inside your body. It’s an inflammatory response.

Our bodies have this amazing power and beautiful capability of sending us messages about what's going on inside, but sadly this isn't taught to us in school or at any point in our lives actually.

LISTENING & UNDERSTANDING YOUR BODY

We’re not taught to read messages and become intuitive with our bodies and treat the underlining issue, we’re taught to go to a doctor for a prescription, go to a chemist, purchase a ridiculous amount in dollars worth of pharmaceuticals and mask symptoms with bandaid fixtures instead.

I spent 18 months on roaccutane at the age of 17 years old. One of the most potent pharmaceuticals known in the medical industry. So toxic that if a woman falls pregnant on this drug she is forced to terminate her pregnancy.

So strong and harmful on our bodies that our lips crack and bleed, your eyes stop producing natural lubrication so eye drops 3-6 times a day are a regular routine thing, your skin totally stops producing natural oils so your flakey, dry and you don't heal as quickly if you cut or burn yourself.

Your gums bleed, your nails don't grow, your hair looks as dry as a hay stack from a farm barn and your joints and muscles take such a hit that any form of exercise or movement, even yoga, is a no deal.

And guess what, 18 months went by, my skin was clear for 6 months, and then I found myself at square one. If I knew the things I know now about roaccutane, I wouldn't have ever gone anywhere near it not even with a 10 foot pole. Especially now knowing I was able to heal myself so simply and naturally.

Fast forward to 2015 and I'm 27 years old, still combatting acne. Not so bad - but it's still lingering around at this point in my life. You can check out my photos above. The before photos were taken last year in June, 2015. At this time in my life I had spent 7 years studying subjects pertaining to health.

Exercise science, nursing, nutrition & health coaching. So my lifestyle and habits changed and my skin improved, but not 100%. I was lucky enough that my mum was a specialist in the cosmetic & skin industry and was able to help me out with treatments for my skin to keep it under some type of control.

If you check out my blog archive, you’ll see I went to The Democratic Republic of Congo (The D.R.C) last year in August 2015 to work in a small hospital theatre in the town of Goma for just over a month.

Before I left for Congo a good friend of mine, Dr. Anthony Golle (you may know him from the amazing documentary Overfed & Undernourished) introduced me to something that was absolutely life changing. Not only for my skin, but for so many other aspects of my health that I'm about to share with you that I honestly won't ever have anything to repay him back with.

He introduced me to the ONLY product in the world that is organic, natural and 100% whole food put into a vegan capsule. Yep. How crazy is that. No added anything, no sugar, no preservatives, no additives.

JUST fruit, vegetables and berries…

There's nothing in the ingredient list except for actual food and it even has a nutritional label... something you don't see very often on the back of the bottle of any capsule.

When I was introduced to this product I was actually sold on the fact that the product contained 27 different serves of organic fruit, vegetables and berries in the capsules. They're picked at their most ripest state, made into a big old smoothie, dehydrated at a low heat so the enzymes are still active and THEN encapsulated into a vegan capsule.

I was about to hit one of the most poorest third world countries in the world where vegetables and fruit, and any type of nutritious food for that matter, was totally non existent so taking this product over with me was a total no brainer. Um hellooo, 27 different serves of real food in one hit.

YES PLEASE SIGN ME UP…

Not to mention it has over 20 published medical and scientific research journals and 10+ more currently underway. I’m a girl who does her research, and they had me at hello.

So you're probably wondering what fruits, berries & veggies have to do with skin, right? What began to happen to me when I implemented all this high quality nutrition into my daily diet - I don’t even know how I can put this in words to make you understand but I’ll try.

I travelled to Goma with a team of 10 surgeons, anaesthetists, nurses, physiotherapist’s and administrative staff. We all worked a ridiculous amount of hours in extremely tough conditions with a poor diet of just bread, rice and potato for the whole month, and for some reason - I was the only one who didn't get sick.

I was the only one who didn't suffer from some type of gastro bug, cold or flu symptoms, bloating, digestive issues, sickness or lethargy. In fact my energy was at an all time high the entire time (not like my colleagues who needed naps and sick days off in between), my immune system was pumping and to be honest I only noticed on the plane home when I realised how unwell the others felt, and how unreal I felt.

When I stepped off the plane to meet my family, the first thing everyone noticed was MY SKIN! Not a single blemish in sight. And I had just spent a whole month in a third world country, in a high stress environment, with no nutrition & hardly any sleep or exercise.

Today, we implement this product in our online program The Healthstyle Emporium. Why? Because we NEED to tell everyone and anyone about this shift in health we all need to start jumping on.

It's amazing what a bunch of veggies, fruit and berries in your daily diet will do to you - energy increase, sleep quality increase, cravings decrease, skin, hair and nail health multiplies by 100 fold, weight loss is a dream, memory and concentration goes through the roof ... the list positive effects goes on & on.

THE HSE…

The Healthstyle Emporium was created to make people realise we REALLY don't need to do anything to crazy to change our health other than flood our bodies with the delicious nutrients, enzymes, vitamins and essential micronutrients that our ancestors grew up on & that our bodies so deliciously thrive off.

The second thing we need to do is simply implement some healthy lifestyle habits and look at our health holistically, I call it going back to basics, pretty much The Healthstyle Emporium in a nutshell.

The 5500+ women who are apart of The Emporium so far can tell you right now the amazing list of results they’ve received since starting. Improved skin, increased energy, decreased cravings, stronger hair, nails and skin, weight loss, decreased digestive issues, better mentality plus so much more.

THE TESTIMONIALS

All you have to do is check out our testimonials page to read real talk from real people and see for yourself. Man, I was even able to quit my 6 shots a day coffee addiction because of these magic little encapsulated babies.

Why? Because our bodies thrive of nutrition and anything is possible when you're body is adequately nourished. And this is what you're doing when you eat 27 serves of WHOLE-FOOD daily. I haven’t had a coffee since July 2015... and I was a total ADDICT.

After 15 long years of trial and error, I honestly wish I was given this little secret a long long time ago. Now I can give you that secret - It’s here, and it's only a click of a button away.

Whether you’re wanting to:

• Clear your skin,

• Lose weight,

• Improve your lifestyle, health & happiness,

• Learn how to make delicious, easy and healthy meals,

• Introduce yoga, meditation & relaxation into your life,

• Decrease stress,

• Learn all there is to know about nutrition & exercise,

• Be kept accountable,

• Improve the appearance of your skin, hair & nails,

• Treat uncomfortable digestive issues,

• Have a support group where you know you're not alone,

• Or you just want to improve your general overall well being, feeling & motivation...

Then I know we can help you within The Emporium, having you partake in all our resources, monthly educational webinars, one on one coaching, having access to our amazing team of health professionals, diving in deep on our meal, exercise, yoga, and meditation guides, having access to all my ebooks for free + taking your capsules daily! 

The best part about it… your kids get to be apart of the emporium and take the product FOR FREE.

Increasing the value of life for our little humans in our lives … energy, behaviour, implementing whole foods in their life daily like this!? Man, I wish I was given this all those years ago, but you know what - I’m so glad I have it now.

If you feel like this blog resonated with you, I would so love to hear from you & I would so love to help you. I personally respond to every single email that comes through my inbox so if you feel the universe tugging at you to hit that contact me button below. Please do. I’m here waiting & I can't wait to meet you.

contact me

New Form

Do you need Yoga in your life?

How Yoga can help you in everyday life

So… most of you may of seen over the last few months we have launched a holistic health Program called the Healthstyle Emporium!

It’s an online hub where health professionals have linked arms from all around the globe – yogi’s, qualified psychologists, skin experts, rieki healers, exercise scientists, PT’s, nurses, nutrition/health and life coaches – to be able to deliver a program that educates, empowers you to make sustainable healthy life choices and nourishes your mind, body and soul.

One of the Amazing Health Professionals I have been fortunate enough to work with is Chani Carroso – who is the infamous Nutrition Coach and Founder of Healthy Peach.

 For our beautiful clients in the Healthstyle Emporium, Chani is running a 30 DAY MAY YOGI CHALLENGE – exclusive to all our members, just another goodie that comes with our programs.

Are you someone who has always wanted to try yoga?

Maybe you've started but you're not really vibing like everyone else. Maybe you're on a health quest trying to find the answer, be it fitness or spiritual... and you feel like the answer is in yoga, but you can't really see what all the fuss is about?

30 Day May Yogi Challenge

With the 30 DAY MAY YOGI CHALLENGE which started today, Chani wrote about why you need this beautiful ancient tradition in your life.  Below is Healthy Peach's Featured Blog / be sure to check out our program The Healthstyle Emporium to get a chance to work with her and soak up the knowledge, wisdom, energy and positive vibes our team have to offer!

yoga handstand

What is Yoga? 

Yoga means “to come together”. So what exactly are we bringing together when we breath deeply, twist, bend, stretch and hold funny looking poses?

Historically, the yogi’s (people who practiced yoga) believed that yoga could unite people with the entire universe, and bring an understanding to us, that all living beings are one, be it humans, tree’s, microscopic bacteria or your pet pooch.

Today, the modern yogi philosophy preaches a life of comfort, kindness, happiness, feeling great and feeling more alive. Yoga to me in a modern context, means bringing all corners of our life together into a delicious holistic harmonious circle of life… and finding balance within that circle. Love, career, finances, spirituality, creativity, joy, home life, relationships, physical activity, home cooking, health & power. More on that later!

Its super simple to practice yoga. You may think yoga isn't for you because you might feel as though you're not flexible, fit or strong. Maybe your mind wanders. But this is the funny part - yoga has nothing to do with all of that.

The number one rule and focus of yoga is…wait for it… breath. Yup! If you can breath - which I'm guessing if your eyes are peeled to this blog right in this moment, you are alive and you CAN BREATH. So guess what, you can practice yoga & be really really good at it!

Yes, at times you must balance like a tree or arrange your body into a cobra, the physical component of yoga comes with practice and strong will. After continuous love and devotion to your practice, I promise you, you will lose weight, strengthen your muscles, increase flexibility and circulation, increase healing, boost your immunity and calm your nervous system all at the same time.

What will yoga do for your mind and soul?

Oh, where do I begin. You become less reactive in stressful situations, like during a confrontation or when every single light on the way to work is red but you were meant to be there 10 minutes ago.

You’re able to care less about others opinions and criticism. You judge yourself less. You’re able to stick up for yourself in ways you didn't think were possible and you’re able to stand your ground. When you’re walking or driving through your every day life, you notice how beautiful that little butterfly floating in the wind is or how amazing the tree’s look with the sun glistening on their green deliciously thick foliage.

You feel spontaneous moments of gratitude for the little things in life like having 10 fingers and toes and having a roof over your head… however they may look like or whatever type of roof that may be. You smile in the most mundane moments, because you see the message. You are more present in life, living in the now rather than in the what was or what could be. You feel more compassion for others and you let go of situations with much more ease.

In time, your yoga practice will evolve into a lifestyle of peace and gratitude, you’ll stand up a little taller, breath a little deeper, be a little more honest with yourself (and others), your intentions will be a little more grounded and your mindset will be a little more beautiful. The perfect antidote for the modern day stressors.

So why does this all happen…

How does a physical exercise completely transform your body, mind & soul?

Its all starts when you realise you can quiet your mind THROUGH your body, and through YOUR BREATH. When your toes hit the mat - the magic begins. And the most beautiful part of it all, the benefits and magic follow you off the matt and weave themselves into your life.

According to the ancient philosophy of yoga, EVERY human is compassionate, loving and peaceful. Yoga just helps us first find that goodness within ourselves, and in others too… No matter who they are. Yoga helps you cut that umbilical cord to the anger, resentment, judgement and doubt we have within ourselves and towards others. And the more you practice yoga, the more clearly you will see how imperfectly perfect you are, as well as everyone else.

No matter what your skill level is, or what your goals are - whether your goals are spiritual, physical, or you’re just curious to see what all the fuss is about about one of the world's oldest traditions… The wise yogi knows it's not the destination that should be in sight, but the process & the journey itself. Perhaps, it's not what you’re longing for that will bring you complete happiness, maybe it's right now - this very little moment - that is the actual reward.

So I invite you, join us in The Emporium for the month of May - and delve deep into our juicy 30 day yogi challenge [details below].

Namaste x

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WHO'S JOINING US IN THE 30 DAY CHALLENGE?

To celebrate the release of The Healthy Peach Yoga + Stretch guide this month, we will be holding a 30 day yogi challenge exclusively within our gorgeous online hub, The Healthstyle Emporium.

FOR ALL FITNESS LEVELS.

What's involved? 

• Every day for 30 days we will focus on one asana (pose),

• A variety of sitting poses, standing poses, balancing poses, forward / back bend poses & 2 advanced poses for the courageous yogi's.

• You will learn the benefits of each asana,

• Step by step instructions on how to complete each asana,

• Tips for beginner, Intermediate and advanced yogi for each asana,

• How and when to move, lengthen & strengthen in each asana,

• How to breath through each asana (prana & apana)

• Which chakra/chakras are being energized,

• Daily intention and mantra for you to have a delicious day ahead.

Each day, the asana of the day will be posted with all the information in The Emporium.

How to get involved?

You must post a picture of your asana in the thread of each daily post. Prizes for the most involved and creative photo taking yogi babe will be given at the end (including active wear by Muscle Republic, a Doterra ice blue rub for those achy muscles and joints + yummo juice plus shakes).

Starts today, the first Monday of May. 

Wishing you health & happiness.

Are women really from Venus and men from Mars?

Breaking it down

Generally in our western world women are “stereotypically” known to be overwhelmed with feelings and to be more guided by them, in contrast to men who “stereotypically” make decisions based on cool, rational deliberation.

Our two emotional and communication styles have people all around the world questioning how can we be so different? Are women really from Venus and men from Mars?

We are prisoners of society

The culture you surround yourself with dictates what is “appropriate” expressions of emotions and consequently influences the differences we see between men and women portraying the same feelings in different ways.

These are called display rules - and are enriched in our culture. They are so deeply absorbed and indoctrinated by society that they have been led to the belief that there are true sex differences in relation to emotion.

What if I told you men were more emotional than women?

Contradictory to today’s gender stereotypes, research may even suggest that men might be slightly more emotional than women. Whereas women may be more willing to report their emotions and claim to have stronger feelings, social norms may put pressure on men to suppress their emotions and not admit to having the same strong feelings.

The stereotypes of overemotional women and restrained men are among the most prevalent in the United States. A study stereotyping of emotion showed a bias in identifying anger with men and not women. Participants tended to interpret women’s reactions as sadness rather than anger, and had trouble seeing women as angry, even when women’s expressions were clearly angry.

The tendency for women to cry when they feel angry has repetitively appeared in cross-cultural surveys of emotion and in studies in which women alone explored their emotion expressions. For women, crying is a common expression of emotion, even in response to anger. It is considered a more culturally appropriate means of expressing anger than physical aggression.

However, crying is discouraged among boys and consequently men are much less likely to cry than women. Indeed men often misinterpret women’s crying as sadness or grief, which would be inappropriate in situations that provoke anger. This tendency for women to cry in situations in which men would not, may provide an explanation as to why women receive the label of “overemotional”.

The greater emotionality of women may be an illusion, the traditional view that women are more emotional and talk more, has also proven to be false. The smallest of gender differences are depicted, in which comparatively highlights (would you believe it) male’s tendency to talk more!

Why Men are more Emotional than Women

1. Men fall in love faster than women

2. Men have more experiences than women of loving someone that doesn’t love them back

3. When a love relationship breaks up men suffer more intense emotional distress than women

4. Men have more traditional concepts of love and marriage and are more romantic than women

5. Men are more likely to have romantic beliefs such as “Love lasts forever” and “there is one perfect love in the world for everyone.”

6. Women however are more likely to report physical symptoms of being in love, such as feeling like they are “floating on a cloud”

7. Boys find it more difficult than girls to calm themselves down once upset, so therefore work harder to avoid emotion in the first place

The traditional stereotype of female emotionality is wrong.

However there is an understandable basis for it with western society and culture placing men under more pressure to restrain from emotions and refrain from expressing feelings.

 I will let these facts resonate with you, in the meantime keep your eyes out for part 2 of this issue – learning specifically the psychology on how to understand your other half!

If you want to know more or read the psychological scientific journals yourself ?

 Click Here to find the list of studies mentioned in this issue

How to Fake it till you make it

I am not a complete Hippy, I swear!

I personally really love positive psychology, I live by concepts like the law of attraction, what you feel you attract, faking it until you make it etc. I strongly believe in how much power we hold simply in our mindsets… my belief in how powerful the mind can be was reinforced by my studies in Psychology.

I live by corny quotes you find in the book ‘The secret’’ one of my favourite’s is “whether you think you can or can’t, you are right.”

But, in saying that, the more I study and the more I read I find there is science and research that backs up my beliefs, so I don’t feel like a complete Hippy!

Here’s a little psychology for you...

Some psychology terms which relate to the power of perspective and belief having more influence than reality or actual ability;

Self-fulfilling prophecies;

referring to situations in which our initial expectation of others or even of our own self-expectations shape our behavior which in turn leads us to behave in ways consistent with these initial expectations.

Pygmalion effect;

which entails if you think something will happen you may unconsciously make it happen through your actions or inaction, in the workplace/educational system it is the phenomenon whereby the greater expectation placed upon people the better they perform.

So, does this mean you can fake it until you make it?

Virtually every social interaction involves reciprocal evaluations and the stakes are often higher in one direction than the other, with one party often having more power to impact the future of the other such as controlling access to resources.

For example in a job interview, the interviewer has power over the job candidates future and consequently the importance of the interviewers evaluation’s of the candidate has greater implications than the evaluations the candidate has of the interviewer.

Or on a date, lets be honest here! The woman wears the pants in todays dating world. The woman has control over whether or not this date will be going anywhere after the first coffee.

When was the last time you were nervous or being judged?

If you guys think back to any situation before you’ve entered a high-stake social evaluation – like a job interview, a first date or even like giving a presentation at school or uni? Most of us shrink in our chairs, hunch over our phones, notes or speech cards, adopting nonverbal postures that cause us to feel even more powerless.

But what if we did the opposite?

What if people were to stretch out and occupy more space, rather than slouching and taking up less?

In both human and non-human primates, expansive open postures reflect power whereas the opposite (closed and contractive) reflect low power, not only do these postures reflect power…but they PRODUCE it.

Prove it!

In a study by Carney, Cuddy, and Yap (2010), a brief power-pose induction was sufficient in biological testing to produce elevations in testosterone, decreases in cortisol, increased self-reported feelings of power, and a greater self-reported tolerance for risk.

In another study by Amy Cuddy, Caroline Wilmuth and Dana Carney from University of California at Berkeley, 2012 (The Benefit of power posing before a high-stake social evaluation) demonstrated that holding a high power pose increases both your implicit and explicit feelings of power and dominance, risk-taking behaviour, action orientation, confidence, performance, pain tolerance, and testosterone (being the dominance hormone) whilst consequently also reducing stress, anxiety and cortisol.

What was the study?

This study tested whether changing ones non-verbal behaviour prior to a high stakes social evaluation (such as a job interview) would improve performance in the evaluated task.

Participants were manipulated to either hold a high-power pose (e.g. standing up straight with the hands on the hips) or a low-power pose (e.g. touching the neck while sitting) for seven minutes before a job interview.

As predicted high power posers performed better and were more likely to be chosen for hire, and this relationship was mediated only by presentation quality not the speech’s quality. The high power posers in contrast to the low, appeared to better maintain their composure, project more confidence and present more captivating and enthusiastic speeches, in turn leading to higher overall performance evaluations.

Its suggested by non-verbally manipulating power, the high power poses effectively took advantage of the psychological and physiological perks typically associated with high power, despite being in the low – power position in relation to the evaluators.

So, how can I fake it until I make it?

It is true, you don’t have to be confident, but you can trick your body into believing you are – which in turns makes others believe you are! So what is the difference (no one has to know you are shitting your pants but you!)

So next time…

• you go on a date

• go for a job interview

• have to deliver a presentation

• feel powerless due to hierarchical status within organisations,

• presenting/reporting to a manager

• even when competing for a promotion

…or are in any other social situation where you feel you are being judged or assessed…FAKE IT.

Get it done like a boss!

Take 5 minutes for yourself – get in the zone… Stand confidently with your hands on your hips, or lay back in your chair with your legs up on the desk and your hands behind your head…

Take up as much space as possible, it’s your space, you deserve to be here. Own it, you are powerful, believe in yourself, believe in the power of the mind. Embody it…

Now go get them boss!!

11 Tips on How To Stay Motivated to Achieve Goals

It is around this time of the year, people have got stuck back into work, getting the kids settled back into school and transporting them to their daily sporting commitments – that those new year resolutions and the best intentions you had to make this year YOUR year have lost their momentum with your energy being spent on various other commitments.

This blog, is just a quick one – letting you in on some secrets on how to keep the motivation to see those resolutions the whole year through.

Whatever your goals are – the best way to ensure you have the commitment and dedication to keep working at them is asking yourself where is the motivation coming from?

You will find that fire and focus is easier to maintain when the goals you are setting are intrinsically motivated.

You want them, you are willing to work and make sacrifices for them – because YOU want it. If you are setting a goal because someone else is telling you to or because society expects you to, you can bet when you are faced with your first hurdle you will struggle to source the energy and desire to jump.

Goals are fun.

They are not a chore or a way to beat yourself up – they are an opportunity to articulate clearly to the universe what you want and hold yourself accountable to take steps to get there!

That fire and passion will drive you no matter what obstacles you face because you genuinely and organically wake up each day yearning for it. Goals (it doesn’t matter how big or small) help give our lives purpose and meaning.

So if you are feeling like you are stuck in a rut – set a small goal to help you get up and moving (my previous blog has a goal setting activity to help you set your own goals).

11 Tips on keeping motivated to achieve goals

1.Hold yourself accountable.

Right from the beginning when you are setting your goals – don’t rely on anything that you don’t have power over. This is your goal – no one else’s. You are responsible for achieving it – if you are going to make excuses or blame others – it was never your goal to begin with. Hiccups and hurdles are part of the process, you set out to achieve YOUR goal, so remember these are not failures only feedback – what are you going to try next or do differently?

2.Just Start.

Trust me, setting the goal is the hardest part because you have had to sit down and really ask yourself what it is you truly want, what you are willing to sacrifice and work hard for. So as Nike says “just do it” – you don’t have to see the whole stair case just the first step.

3.Positive self-talk

Positive self-talk is important at all times however it is even more crucial when it comes to goals because if you let your doubt and self-limiting beliefs dominate your thought processes they will become your reality. You CAN do this, You are WORTHY of this, You WILL do this!

4.Visualize it!

Visualization is a technique used by many sporting and life coaches. It derives from Neuro Linguistic Programing – visualize yourself doing it, achieving it, how do you feel? What do you see, hear and smell? Who do you tell? What are you wearing? Who is there to share the moment with you and celebrate?

Visualizing makes it all more real as your brain builds stronger neuron connections, as it is not able to discriminate between real and imagined experiences – it produces the same hormones, neurological responses and feelings regardless, allowing you to tune in and refuel that fire regularly, reminding you of that satisfaction waiting at the end of all the hard work.

5.Write here, there and everywhere!

Repetition, constantly put it out into the universe, have little cues everywhere reminding you what you are doing it all for. Whether it be a picture of your dream holiday on the fridge, your body at it’s fittest as your phone background, having your goal written at the front of your dairy or on your bathroom mirror, having it set as your alarm in the mornings etc.

Another handy tip is having your goals as your passwords! These days with technology we have to enter them a few times each day, why not use these opportunities to refuel your motivation and commitment.

6.find Like minded friends!

Surround yourself with like-minded friends, friends who also have goals and aspirations of their own. People who encourage you, empower you and support you, it is true, your vibe attracts your tribe!

7.Get Help!

This goal is still YOUR goal – the destination at the end doesn’t change however sometimes a problem shared is a problem halved. Whether it be outsourcing some work so you can focus on some bigger goals, or seeking a mentor or life coach to help refuel your ambition.

8.Celebrate small wins!

In my earlier blog regarding goal setting – we advised big goals should be broken into smaller ones. This is done to help keep you motivated, to make the bigger goal more real and achievable. Use the smaller goals to track your progress and celebrate each victory! Celebrate your ambition, your commitment! You are doing it! You Go Glen Coco, you GO!

9.Get re-inspired!

Like happiness, like energy – you can’t expect to be feeling high levels of motivation and excitement 24/7. You do have to work at it and refuel that fire. So every now and then look for inspiration to keep that drive, whether it be from reading blogs, books, movies, documentaries or talking to others. The world is filled with amazing people with amazing stories – don’t get so caught up in your journey that you forget to notice the ambition that surrounds you, this helps ground you.

NOTE: this does not mean comparing your lives to others on social media so you feel inferior! It is about acknowledging we are all different people on different paths, and genuinely being happy, inspired and learning from others success (and failures).

10.Reflect!

Breaking those goals into smaller ones also allows you the opportunity to reflect. Reflect on where you have come from, how far you have come, who and what helped you, what you have learnt and how you have grown. This exercise helps to strengthen your gratitude and mindfulness.

11. Reassess!

I can’t say it enough, for your goals to be effective, they really do need to intrinsically motivate you… when you are regularly reflecting, ask yourself…

Is it pleasurable?

If the answer is No, ask yourself…

Is it still worth the sacrifices?

If the answer to both of these questions is No, then it is time to reassess. Don’t be hard on yourself, people change, life changes. Changing or choosing not to pursue certain goals does not mean you have failed.

Sometimes our values change as a result of our experiences and growth, and if you fail to reassess your goals frequently, your goals may no longer reflect your values, beliefs or who you are.

So Dream Big, Aim High and Have Fun! Go get em tiger!

Its OK to not be OK - Pain is Normal

““My friends on the mainland think just because I live in Hawaii, I live in paradise, like a permanent vacation. We’re all just out here, sipping Mai Tais, shaking our hips, catching waves. Are they insane? Do they think we are immune to life? How can they possibly think our families are less screwed up, our cancers less fatal, our heartache less painful?”

”

— The Descendants

I love to read widely to strengthen my practice and keep it up to date with the latest research. I am a firm believer in walking my talk, I encourage my clients to always be learning and growing - so consequently here are some of my teachings based on Russ Harris's book 'The Happiness Trap'. If you would like to read more and gain a better understanding behind the psychological practice behind this theory I encourage you to have a read yourself.

SSHH… I WILL TELL YOU A SECRET.

What if I was to tell you, that almost everything you believed about finding happiness turned out to be inaccurate, misleading or false?

There is a growing body of scientific research that suggests we are all caught in a powerful psychological trap, a vicious cycle in which the more we try to find happiness the more we suffer.

Friends posting on instagram what their partner did for them, magazines feeding us what we have to look like to be desirable, TV advertisements manipulating us to believe we need to own materialistic objects to be happy, government policies forcing us to conform to a lifestyle and belief that we need to ‘work’ 5 days a week – 260 days a year to deserve a couple of weeks break, society selling us the concept of having a career, your own home and settling down with kids of your own is the epitome of happiness…why is it then we have an increasing amount of middle aged – middle class women suffering from depression and anxiety?

They have followed the recipe book for a fulfilled and happy life to the T – then found themselves full of despair and confusion when they don’t feel as ecstatic as they were told they would be – did I pour in ¾ cup too much of having fun?

BUT… I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAPPY

In the Western world we now have a higher standard of living than humans have ever known before.

We have better medical treatment, better housing conditions, better sanitation, more money, more welfare services, and more access to education, justice, travel, entertainment, and career opportunities. Today’s middle class live better than the royalty did not so long ago. And yet humans today don’t seem very happy.

OH YEAH, SAYS WHO?

Research says. The statistics speak for themselves;

In any given year almost 30% of the adult population will suffer from a recognised psychological disorder.

The World Health Organization estimates that depression is currently the fourth biggest, costliest, and most debilitating disease in the world and by the year 2020, it will be the second biggest. In any given week, one tenth of the adult population is suffering from clinical depression, and one in five will suffer from it at some point in their life-time.

But even more startling is the fact that almost one in two people will go through a stage in life when they seriously consider suicide and will struggle with it for a period of two weeks or more. Scarier still, one in ten people will at some point actually attempt to kill themselves….

I’ll give you a moment for those numbers to resonate with you…

Think of your friends, your family, your co-workers, the random masses of people walking around your local shopping center…almost half of them will at some point be so overwhelmed by misery that they seriously contemplate suicide. One in ten will actually go on to attempt it.

It becomes obvious, lasting, ever flowing happiness is not normal!

BUT WHY CAN’T I ALWAYS BE HAPPY?

Let me take you on a brief psychology lesson exploring evolutionary theory.

Today, our modern human minds have evolved with amazing abilities to analyse, plan, create and communicate. This evolutionary process has taken a long time – not like the agonizing week long wait for the next episode of orange is the new black to come out- more like a hundred thousand years (no exaggeration).

First on the planet – were these bad ass homo sapiens. They were equipped with minds to help them survive in a world full of danger. They weren’t lazing around telling jokes with ‘bae’ or counting how many likes their last insta post got. They were only concerned with meeting their four essential needs to survive and reproduce; food, water, shelter and sex.

However none of these things mattered if you were dead. So the number one priority: look out for anything that might harm you – and avoid it. The smarter mind was able to avoid more bullies, which meant they were able to live longer, which meant they had more time to have jiggy jiggy and make babies.

SO…AS THE STORY GOES…

So with each generation the mind became increasingly more effective in predicting and avoiding danger.

And now, after one hundred thousand years of evolution, the modern mind is constantly on the lookout; is it dangerous? Harmful or helpful?

However these days we aren’t on the look out for saber-toothed tigers, instead its loosing our job, being rejected, getting a speeding ticket, getting cancer, embarrassing ourselves in public or a million other things. As a result we spend a lot of our time worrying about things that more often than not, never happen.

Another essential for the survival of any early human is to belong to a group. If your crew or squad booted you out, it wouldn’t be long until the wolves found you. So how does the mind protect you from rejection of the group?

By comparing yourself with others, both friends and foes to assess is your membership at threat; Am I fitting in? Am I doing the right thing? Am I as good as the others?

SOUND FAMILIAR?

Our modern-day minds are continuously warning us of rejection and comparing us to the rest of society.

No wonder we spend so much energy worrying if other people will like us. No wonder we are always looking at ways to improve ourselves or putting ourselves down because we don’t ‘measure up’.

A hundred thousand years ago we only had a few members of our immediate tribe to compare ourselves to. But today, we only need to glance at a newspaper, a magazine, swipe down on our Facebook or instagram newsfeeds to instantly find a whole host of people who are skinnier, richer, sexier, more powerful, more famous or more successful than we are.

When we compare ourselves up against these glamorous media creations, we feel inferior or disappointed with our lives. To make matters worse, our minds are now so sophisticated they can conjure up a fantasy image of the person we would ideally like to be – and then we compare ourselves to that! What chance have we got? We will always end up feeling not good enough.

GET MORE. GET BETTER.

Now for any Stone Age Person with ambition, the general rule for success is; get more and get better.

The better the weapons, the more food you can kill. The larger your foods stores, the greater your chances for survival in times of scarcity. The better your shelter, the safer you are from wild weather and animals, the more children you have, the greater chance that some will survive into adulthood.

No surprise, our evolved mind also carried this strategy forward, we today are still lead to believe “more and better”, more money, a better job, more status, a better body, more love, a better partner.

And if we succeed, if we do get more money, or a better car, or a bigger house or buy a bigger set of tits, then we are satisfied – for a while. But sooner or later (and usually sooner), we end up wanting more.

Thus evolution has shaped our brains so that we are hardwired to suffer psychologically: to compare, evaluate, criticize ourselves and others, to focus on what we are lacking, to rapidly become dissatisfied with what we have, and to imagine all sorts of frightening scenarios, most of which will never happen. No wonder we find it hard to always be happy.

WHAT IS HAPPINESS?

We all want it. We all crave it. We all strive for it. Even the Dalai Lama has said “The very purpose of life is to seek happiness.”

But what exactly is it? The word happiness has two different meanings. The common meaning of the word is “feeling good”. In other words, feeling a sense of pleasure, gladness or gratification – a state. We all enjoy these feelings, so it’s no surprise that we chase them.

However, like any human emotion, feelings of happiness don’t last. No matter how hard we try to hold onto them, they slip away every time. And a life spent in pursuit of happiness is, in the long term deeply unsatisfying. In fact, the harder we chase after pleasurable feelings, the more we are likely to suffer from anxiety and depression.

The other far less common meaning of happiness is “living a rich, full and meaningful life”. When we take action on the things that truly matter deep in our hearts, move in directions that we consider valuable and worthy, clarify what we stand for in life and act accordingly, then our lives become rich, full and meaningful, and we experience a powerful sense of vitality.

This is not some fleeting feeling – it is a mindset that appreciates and understands a life well lived. And although such a life will undoubtedly give us many pleasurable feelings, it will also give us uncomfortable ones, such as fear, sadness, and anger. This is only to be expected. If we live a full life, we will feel the full range of human emotions…happiness being among them.

I STILL DON’T GET IT…IS IT POSSIBLE TO BE HAPPY?

Of course we all enjoy feeling good, and we should certainly make the most of the pleasant feelings when they appear. But if we try to have them all the time, we are doomed to fail.

The reality is, life involves pain. There is no getting away from it. As human beings we are all faced with the fact that sooner or later we will grow frail, get sick and die. Sooner or later we all will loose valued relationships through rejection, separation or death. Sooner or later we will all come to face with crises, disappointment and failure. This means that in one form or another, we are all going to experience painful thoughts and feelings.

SO YOU MEAN TO BE TRULY HAPPY I DON’T HAVE TO BE HAPPY?

More or less, yes. By truly understanding that the grass isn’t greener on the other side.

The good news is that although we cant avoid such pain we can learn to handle it much better – to make room for it, reduce its impact, and create a life worth living despite it.

The sad thing is for so long society has told us something different. From a young age we are taught we should be able to control our feelings. When you were young I am sure you heard a number of expressions like “don’t cry”, “stop feeling sorry for yourself”, “there’s nothing to be afraid of”, “stop being a sook”…

With phrases such as these, the adults around us are sending the message again and again that we ought to be able to control our feelings.

But what was going on behind their closed doors?

They may have been drinking too much, having an affair, throwing themselves into work, suffering in silence whilst slowly developing stomach ulcers. Whatever method they used to cope, I bet they probably didn’t share those experiences with you.

THIS IS SOMETHING YOU MAY NOT OF HEARD OF BEFORE….ITS CALLED SADNESS AND YES, IT IS NORMAL.

On those rare occasions when you did get to witness their loss of control, I am betting they never explained to you “okay, these tears are because I am feeling something called sadness. It’s a normal feeling, and you can learn to handle it effectively”. But then, that’s not too surprising, they couldn’t show you how to handle your emotions because they didn’t know how to handle theirs.

The idea that you should be able to control your feelings was undoubtedly reinforced in your school years. Do you recall kids who cried at school being teased for being “crybabies”, or “sissies” – especially if they were boys?

Then, as you grew older, you probably heard phrases (or even used them yourself) such as “get over it”, “snap out of it”, “shit happens”, “move on”, “chill out” and so on. These phrases imply that you should be able to turn your feelings on and off at will, like flicking a switch.

BUT EVERYONE ELSE LOOKS HAPPY

And why is this myth so compelling? Because people around us seem, on the surface, to be happy.

They seem to be in control of their thoughts and feelings, they always post happy photos on their instagram and facebook. But seem is the key word here. The fact is most people are not open or honest about the struggle they go through with their own thoughts and feelings.

Too many people are feeling guilty for not being happy. The secret to happiness is not always being happy, but understanding the concept of happiness by practicing mindfulness – allowing your perspective to be challenged.

Everyone’s pain deserves to be validated – we all have permission to be upset.

It is OK to not be OK. We are all human, it is part of our evolved design… and it is not weak to speak about it, as I highlighted the statistics earlier – you are definitely not alone and there are services that can help if sadness is hanging around for prolonged periods.

The organisation LIVIN is a great place to start – gaining momentum in breaking down mental health stigma’s around the globe. You can click on their website if you would also like some referrals to further support services.

LIFE IS ONLY AS GOOD AS YOUR MINDSET.

1. Don’t be manipulated by status, fashion or money. Don’t allow society to dictate to you what should make you happy.

2. Practice self-awareness and mindfulness. Are you aware of what makes you happy? Be motivated by your values, live your life in accordance to what is important to you.

3. Acknowledge when you’re not feeling OK. Accept it. Allow it. Try to change the way you think about it. Did you learn something? Did you grow? Did it make you happy at the time? Did it allow you the opportunity to reassess your values? Did it give you the opportunity to have a good old-fashioned cry, devour a tub of cookie dough ice-cream and let it all out?

It is OK, to not be OK.